14
Next day the fun was over and we were back to regular. We did chores, and after lunch Grandma brought out one of her cardboard suitcases. Inside were six books. The Bible, Ivanhoe, Huckleberry Finn, Last of the Mohicans, The Red Badge of Courage, and Call of the Wild. She had me read aloud to her from Ivanhoe.
She kept saying how she just loved bein’ read to.
When I finished a chapter, it was Tom’s turn. Tom had a lot of trouble with the words, and I wanted to just go on and read it because the story was so good, but Grandma insisted Tom do it. Tom got about halfway through the chapter and gave up.
Grandma said, “That was real good, Tom. You just need more time for the big words.”
She gave the book back to me, and I caught on to what was happening. We were being schooled. I didn’t say anything. I just read. I liked reading. I liked the book. Grandma made the whole thing fun. By the afternoon, she asked if Mama, Tom, and me would like to drive into town and visit Daddy at the barbershop.
Mama declined the trip, having wash she wanted to hang, and though Grandma volunteered us to help her, Mama insisted we drive on into town and visit without her.
We drove along at a fast clip with the windows down. The wind picked up the scent of the woods and the earth and filled the car with them.
Grandma said, “I just love the smell of dirt. I like it best when it starts to smell right before a rain. There’s somethin’ about an oncomin’ rain gives the earth a real fine smell. That’s another thing about North Texas. Dirt, wet or dry, didn’t smell right.”
We weren’t long at the barbershop before Grandma got bored. She was willing to argue with the customers on nearly anything that came up. Religion. Politics. Farming. The Depression. She even got on Cecil’s nerves, and he generally liked to talk about most anything. She thought he cut hair a little too close, and even suggested a superior form of wrist movement for stropping his razor.
When she finally tuckered out arguing, she took to reading one of the pulp magazines, and pretty soon she was criticizing the writing. I could tell Daddy, Cecil, and the customers were glad when she made up her mind to go over to the general store and take us with her.
I was nervous about going over to Groon’s store, but when we got there, he greeted us like family. He didn’t bring up our recent encounter with him except to talk about Mama’s chocolate cake.
“She bakes a good’n,” Grandma said, pursing her lips, “but she always put a little too much sugar in it, and not enough egg to make the icing.”
“Oh,” Mr. Groon said.
“I’ll fix some sometime and bring you a slice,” Grandma said.
“That would be right nice of you, ma’am,” Mr. Groon said. “Since my wife died, I don’t do much cooking that matters. Just a little to get by, and it ain’t worth much.”
Grandma bought a few small items. Staples for Mama: flour, coffee, cornmeal, and finally a couple of peppermint sticks for me and Tom. We went out to the car and placed our boxed items inside, except for the peppermints, which me and Tom took to sucking right away.
“Ain’t there anything else to do around here?” Grandma asked.
“No ma’am. Not really. ’Cept go see Miss Maggie. You was sayin’ you knew her.”
“I know who she is, but I don’t believe we’ve ever exchanged words
… Well, hell, let’s go see her. She might be up better for conversation than these men folks. They can’t stand to be disagreed with. There ain’t a thing they don’t know. They ain’t even half the cussers they think they are neither.”
Since I hadn’t heard anyone cuss around Grandma, I wasn’t certain how she had drawn those conclusions, but thought it was a pretty good bet she could cuss with the best of them. As for them not knowing as much as they thought, well, they hadn’t had all that much time to express themselves. Grandma was always talking.
We left her sacks in the car; unlike now, you could do that. It was rare then, even in hard times, that anyone would steal from you, unless it was a banker. There were, of course, the Pretty Boy Floyds of the world, but it wasn’t like now where everything has to be under lock and key. A thief was usually from somewhere else other than where you were.
We came up on Miss Maggie hanging out her wash. She had on her big black hat. She heard us coming, looked over her shoulder.
“Howdy there, Missuh Harry. And who that you got with you?”
“This is my Grandma,” I said.
“My name’s June. I hear yours is Maggie.”
“Yes’m, that’s right.”
“Don’t ma’am me,” Grandma said. “Makes me feel a hundred years old.”
Miss Maggie cackled. “I am a hundert years old.”
“Naw you ain’t.”
“Yes’m. I am too. I might be a hundert and two, but I done lost me some track on it.”
“You don’t look a day over seventy,” Grandma said. “I see you’re hangin’ out your drawers.”
“Yes’m. They got to have air’n. My drawers might even need a little extra air’n.”
“Least your drawers ain’t wide enough to stretch and jump on.”
Miss Maggie cackled. “You somethin’, Miss June.”
There was a basket full of wash and clothespins setting on the ground. Grandma plucked out some clothes, grabbed up a handful of clothespins. She put one of the pins in her mouth, and somehow holding three more in one hand, she pinned the piece up, grabbed another and pinned that.
When she had used the pin in her mouth, Grandma said, “I been up the barbershop my son owns, talkin’ to the men there, and I can tell you straight out, ain’t a one of ’em knows a damn thing.”
Maggie grinned. “Ain’t that the truth, Miss June.”
Grandma grabbed more wash and started hanging. “They think they know everything there is to know, but they don’t know which end of themselves the crap comes out of.”
Miss Maggie laughed. “You is one cutup, Miss June. Yes, you is.”
A short time later we were sitting in Miss Maggie’s house, at the table, eating buttermilk pie, and Grandma and Miss Maggie were arguing over a chocolate and buttermilk pie recipe. I had never heard of such a combination, but then again, I’d never had fig preserve pie until the night before either, and it had been like a slice of heaven.
It was hot in there because of the wood stove. The front door was open, and I could see out the screen. There were no flies this day, but in the distance I could see a black and yellow butterfly playing above the hog pen. I was seeing it and not seeing it. I was thinking about Ivanhoe.
Pretty soon Grandma and Miss Maggie were up cooking together, arguing all the while, banging pans, pouring this and that, Miss Maggie showing Grandma where the cooking stuff she needed was, and telling her what’s what on how to use it.
Grandma told her how she had been cooking for over sixty years, and Miss Maggie said how she started cooking regular when she was four, and hadn’t never stopped, and how she was a hundred years old or more.
Grandma sideswiped that by telling how she’d cooked for twenty men at a time, and Miss Maggie upped that one by telling how she used to cook for a logging company, cooking for well over three hundred men, three times a day, breakfast, dinner, and supper.
Before too long, both of them, covered in flour and sugar, were poking pies in the oven, building up the wood, stoking the fire, and letting the pies bake.
They went outside and brushed flour off, came back in, sat at the table, and went right back to it.
“You done put your buttermilk in too heavy,” Miss Maggie said.
“You poured in too little,” Grandma said. “Pie’ll be dry.”
“You got too much buttermilk, you can’t taste the chocolate right.”
“Use too little, you might as well have done gone on and baked a chocolate pie.”
“Hard as chocolate is to come by, you got to play with it some, add a little ginger to give it a right taste.”