Having thus briefly considered the import of the expression, "Jacob kissed Rachel," I shall, secondly, endeavour to fix upon your minds the actual expediency of implicitly submitting to the cordial precept which it inculcates.
Whatever nature inclines us to do, the same not being prohibited by any positive law, either divine or human, it certainly behooves us to execute.
On this occasion, my brethren, and you, my fair auditors, the injunction presents itself with an aspect so winning and so enlightened that you cannot hesitate to regard it as at once rational and ecstatic. Yield, therefore, to its benignant influence — raptures which no language can describe spring up before it; raptures at which the noblest union of the senses may not only assist with innocence, but plenteously partake of the most exquisite of all the triumphs of mutual affection.
Let the inanimate being of the masculine gender, if such unfortunately there are, who compose a part of my congregation, examine their inward feelings and declare whether they would not conceive it difficult totally to resist the temptation of lips like those of Rachel — a fragrance equal to the ambrosial odours of an April morn issuing from their vermilioned surface, to render them not the least captivating of that almost divine assemblage of features in which Jacob doubtless perceived the spotless index of the milder virtues, invariably directed throughout their lucid progress by the best and consequently the most serviceable qualities of a female understanding.
How glorious was the opportunity here afforded of gratifying the desires interwoven, for wise and for bounteous reasons, nearly at the very moment of its creation within the human frame.
But I can venture to affirm that the majority of those to whom I now address myself are composed of materials too sublime, too effervescent, too luxuriously prone to the participation of the fair indulgence which is the harbinger of hymenial bliss not to enjoy, by the warm magic of an elevated imagination, those scenes of reciprocal endearment as having passed been Jacob and Rachel- "He kissed her,"
"He lifted up his voice and wept/' In sorrow? No; from an excess of transport. The joy which overflowed the heart ran gushing from the delighted eye, dropping a tributary tear upon the yet firm and snowy bosom of the seducing cause of this inevitable yet just emotion.
From the case of Jacob, it is not erroneously but highly requisite to infer that his behaviour at the interview with Rachel should be taken, so long as the world exists, for a pattern by all who may have the advantage of standing in a similar predicament; for it would prove unjustifiable, and even criminal, to entertain the most distant idea that we have been endowed at our birth with inclinations and desires which could not be gratified without "sinning against the law and the prophets."
Needless is it to dwell longer upon this particular head; and the rather, as the agreeable doctrine of the illustrious apostle of the Gentiles is unswearably persuasive in the support of my argument, against those frigid, and to the credit of human kind, let us add, those few controversalists who are disposed to cast an ignominious doubt upon its infallibility. The discerning and accomplished saint was frequently earnest in exhorting his followers to fulfil one of the most grateful of his commands: he has said, "Salute ye one another with an holy kiss."
THE EFFECT OF FRENCH NOVELS UPON THE TICHBORNE TRIAL; OR "WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN"
"Neither June, nor rain, nor thunder
Shall utterly efface I ween
The thought of that which 'might have been.'"
Coleridge ("Crystabel") Said Kenealy, from drinking and smoking and snuff,
Mortality, suffer a shock;
But build up a Roger, they are not enough;
You must call in the aid of De Kock.
With the aid of translations,
I'll prove it, I say, I'll prove it as sure as the clock;
That Tichborne became such a mauvais sujet,
Through reading the works of De Kock.
"Seduction made easy" and "Vice Harmless Sport"
Are his teachings, our morals to shock;
"Then 'twere best," said the Chief,
"to keep ladies from Court While you are translating De Kock."
So next day an order was posted which ran,
"No ladies before twelve o'clock";
And Kenealy appeared and straightway began,
To recite from the works of De Kock.
But though 'reft of ladies, silk gowns did abound,
And stuff-on the back on the back of black coats;
And Chief, Bar, and Jury sure never were found,
So earnest in taking down notes.
The extracts, so spicy, so naughty, but nice,
The Chief, Bar, and Jury's ears thrill;
They were charmed with Mon Voisin, and silent as mice
When he opened the "Maide of Belleville."
"I could listen all day," said the Chief, with delight.
Said Mellor, "I don't care a rush,
If Paul De Kock takes up a week or a fortnight";
"It's capital, really," said Lush.
Thought the Jury, "it's certainly far more amusing,
On a morning in sultry July,
To list to French novels than hear the abusing
Of Jesuits, Priests, and such fry."
But, Dr. Kenealy, could you but have known
The effect of your choice recitation;
The Bar is not marble, nor soldiers alone
The combustible part of the nation.
For alas! That Palladium by Englishmen prized
Couldn't stand the assaults of the French;
The profligate writer soon demoralized
The Jury, the Bar, and the Bench.
"Don't you think it a shame to keep ladies from this?"
Said Lush, to the Chief, half aside;
"Parhleu and Mon Dieu!" said the Chief, "so it is,"
And he sent to invite them inside.
And adds, "Lest they're crowded in gallery high,
Politeness we'll learn from the French,
So, usher, the prettiest girls you can spy, Just offer a seat on the Bench."
Toute suite, with gay muslins, the Bench was o'er charged,
And the Chief, it may be, showed his taste,
When the rules of his court he forever enlarged,
And took Mabel Grey round the waist.
And Mellor was seen to nod, smirk, and gloat
On red cheeks and corked eyelids with glee;
And Lush found it difficult taking a note With Baby Thornhili on his knee.
Ancl the Jury sat grinning and winking their eye,
And decency treating with scorn,
While they chucked billets doux to the girls who were by
For appointments that night at Cremorne.
And then the infection ran all through the Bar,
And flirting and spooning began,
Till the ushers were pulled up for going too far,
In wanting to dance the Can-Can!