The patriarch Judah (38th chapter of Genesis) then, who was to be the father of so many generations of the faithful, seeing a comely damsel by the way-side, and the spirit moving within his fleshly tabernacle, prayed that he might come in into her. She, who appeared to be a harlot, because she had covered her face, immediately, as a necessary preliminary in the course of business, demanded her fee; which by mutual agreement was to be a kid. We find not, in any part of the text, that this meretricious transaction is to be looked upon as sinful. We are, moreover, taught that the whores of those very early ages were, for sufficient reasons no doubt, just as eager to obtain "the money first" as they are at present, and that covering the face was a mark of the profession. Everyone must remember to have read with what honour and distinction the harlot Rahab was treated by that pious robber and cut-throat Joshua; though it is not particularly said that the judge, like his ancestor Judah, bargained also for a "stroke."
Nor were the ladies then a whit behind those of the present time in the knowing blandishments of their profession, as we may find by the many cautions against their seductive arts, dispersed up and down in different parts of the scripture.
Mary Magdalen, having spent her youth and beauty in this way of life, was afterwards reclaimed, and kept "good company." The Egyptian saint, young Mary, prostituted herself "to raise the wind" for a passage to Jerusalem, on a pilgrimage; and afterwards "spent chastely" forty years in the desert with Zosimus.
We are told by Herodotus, that even the daughters of kings were accustomed to trade upon their "own bottoms," for the pious purpose of building or endowing temples, without ever suffering any degradation of character in consequence.
The whores of ancient days were patronised and respected by heroes and great men, as well sacred as profane. If we are more reserved in these latter days, and they are not held in such high estimation as of old, we still cannot avoid an acknowledgment of their indispensable use; and have numerous and illustrious instances to adduce of strong predilections for them. The holy successors of St. Peter draw a considerable part of their revenue from a tax upon the order of prostitutes. The attachment of the famous Marshal Saxe, to the very lowest class of the daughters of Venus, is well known; one of whom continued passionately devoted to him to the last moments of his life.
THE WELSH CURATE AND HIS DAME
In Wales, where a curate is frequently obliged to maintain a family upon a salary of less than twenty pounds a year, the lower order of clergy are generally under the necessity of stooping to less sacred employments than preaching, and frequently to manual labour itself, in order to increase their scanty pittance.
The reader, no doubt, has heard or read of instances-of this kind, where an honest, worthy curate has been compelled to go out a hedging or ditching for fourteenpence a day, whilst the rector, who makes his charge a perfect sinecure, spends a salary of three or four hundred pounds per annum in London, at the distance of nearly as many hundred miles from his flock, about whose welfare he is little, or rather, not solicitous. Peter Tuckle was a priest of the former class; his salary amounted to little better, so that having a wife and three small children to support, he was compelled either to hit upon some method of increasing his store, or else to sit down tamely and starve. Now the latter is at best but a very sorry and disagreeable business; Peter, therefore, very wisely resolved to have nothing to do with it if he could possibly help it; and accordingly, having a natural turn for the farming business, cultivated a little plot of ground, reared cabbages and potatoes, and kept fowls and geese; whilst his wife employed herself in spinning, knitting stockings, amp;c.
Peter found his farming turned to better account than his sacerdotal employments. He was enabled to send pullets and new laid eggs to market, and as the money came in, gradually added to his live as well as dead stock; so that in a few years Peter was enabled to take a larger farm, and not only augmented the number of his cocks and hens, but made likewise a purchase of a cow and a couple of goats, with sundry other valuable acquisitions. Now, there is an old Latin saying which observes that Sine Cerere et Baccho frigit Venus; which saying we will venture to reverse, by observing, that wherever the two former abound, Venus, instead of growing heavy and phlegmatic, is apt to grow wanton and rampageous.
Peter swigged in large supplies of Cornish ale, but his wife began to grow too exorbitant in her demands, and poor Peter found himself wholly inadequate to the measures of her wants.
One Sunday afternoon Peter, with his dame, sat regaling themselves over a mug of nut-brown ale, and looking out at the window at the cocks and hens that were strutting up and down the yard before Peter's house. Now Peter had lately purchased a bantam cock, that played the very devil with all the hens; no sooner down than up again; and in this manner he took them all one after the other, by turns.
"My dear," quoth Peter's wife, "do you observe what a notable cock this is for business?"
Peter made no reply, any further than by nodding his head, as he was at the time smoking his pipe.
"My dear," repeated his wife, "how is it that this cock can be so notable among the hens, and yet he has nothing to show for it? Pr'ythee, love, explain the matter to me.
"Our bantam-cock treads every hen.
The yard holds just a score and ten,
Yet still he romps with great and small.
Now it has perplex'd my brain,
And for my soul I can't make out,
How bantam brings the thing about,
Or how he treads the hens at all -
Will you, my dear, the cause explain?"
Peter was sorely put to it by this question from his wife.
However, after taking two or three whiffs of his pipe, he began a learned dissertation upon the organization of brute and human bodies; concluding with this observation-"Fowls, from the eagle to the wren, Are harnessed otherwise than men;
Within his own warm entrails pent,
This bantam keeps his what d'ye call?
His engine, which he plays withal.
Else it might chance be torn and rent
By ugly briars, thorns and brambles,
As through the fields and woods he rambles;
And 'tis by keeping it so warm
He can such feats of love perform."
Peter's wife listened to this physical explanation with great attention.
"If that be the case, my dear, I wish you would make use of your bowels for the like purpose."
Poor Peter shook his head at this speech, then clapping his hand upon his belly-"Indeed, dame, this belly of mine was made for other purposes — to be lined with roast pork, capon, and good ale; nor is there room in. it for a single wheat straw."
"Then let me provide you with room," replied his dame.
Peter arose and followed his wife into the bed-chamber.
ECCENTRICITIES
A remarkable hard drinker, who was expiring, begged one of his friends who was at his bedside, to bring him a goblet of water, telling him, "On our death-beds we must be reconciled with our enemies."
Sir Robert Bell eating of oysters, and meeting with one that was a good deal tainted, began to smell it. "Are you stinking?" says he. "By Jove, you shall not escape so, for 1*11 make you stink worse before you and I part." So saying he swallowed it.
A REMARKABLE LOVE LETTER
The following letter was found onboard a ship in the Downs, with tobacco rolled in it.
Lovin der Charls- This with my kind lov to yow, it to tell yow, after all our sport an fon I um like to pay fort, for j am with child, and wereof my sister Nan knos it, and calls, me hore and bech, and is redy to ter my sol owt, and curs Jack Seny kices her evry time he cums ashore, and the saci dog wold have lade with me to, but i wold let him, for I wold be alwais honest to yow, therefor, der Charls cum ashor, and let us be marred to save mi virtu, and if you have no moni, I will paun mi nu stais and sell mi to new srooks you gave me, and that will pay the parson and find us a dinner, and pray der der Charls cum ashor, and done be afraid for wont of a. ring for i have stole our Nans, and the nasty tode shant never have it mor for she tells me I am go in to hav a basterd, and god bles yowr lovin sol cum ashor, and let us get marred accorden to yower promis, and i will be yowr dear vertus wife till deth.