How she wreathed, and contorted, as prostrate she lay!
"What's the row?" quoth the Prince of the Air.
"Oh! Lord, can you catch him? Which way did he run?
"I'm ruined! I'm killed! — I shall die! — I'm undone!
"Oh! good Sir Devil! I pray you beware!
"Beware of my husband! He told me a match "Had been made 'twixt you for a battle at scratch,
"And to try his vile talons he prayed "That I'd just let him touch (here she fiddled her clothes) "With the least of his fingers between my great toes,
"And, see — what a gash he has made!"
There's a tale that Miss Menkin (I think) said one season,
"I can't think to-night what the deuce is the reason,
"That my 'posing the pit so bewitches!
"They seem nearly mad!" — "Well," said Smith, "I'm afraid,
"You're hardly aware what to-night you've displayed,
"You have got a great slit in your breeches!"
What Miss Adah revealed, I can't venture to guess;
And, whoever the question more closely should press, Most richly deserves to be coked;
But, 'twas something like something the dame must have shewn, For he'd scarcely espied it, when — uttering a groan,
"Oh! Lord!" quoth the Devil, and bolted.
THE ORIGIN OF HOKEY-POKEY
Once upon a time a facetious fellow for a wager undertook to sell sh — t for sweetstuff in the street. Taking a hand-barrow, he called out-"Here you are, Hokey-Pokey, a penny a spoonful, the most delicious thing in the world, and sure to make you speak the truth if you never did before!"
"Give us a spoonful!" said a curious man, opening his mouth. "Ah! damn; sh — t, by God!" he exclaimed, as the vendor accommodated him.
"I told you you'd speak the truth. Don't make a fuss, or you'll drive away my customers!" replied the hawker!
ADVENTURES AND AMOURS OF A BARMAID A SERIES OF FACTS
(Continued from page 115)
At first only the dim outlines of two figures could be discerned in the interior of the tent.
"Wait a moment," Mildred whispered to Polly. "Gypsies always have a good light; no one would have his bride in the dark on his wedding night."
The peepers kept very still, and presently Mildred whispered again — "Zach is going to light up; you'll see him look Miriam all over before he really has her for better or worse, as your marriage service says."
The obscure figures now released themselves from a long embrace, the female giving an audible sigh, which seemed to give expression both to her amorous desires and timidity as to what was coming. Striking a match the swarthy bridegroom lighted up three candles, stuck in a common tin triangle suspended from the centre of the tent, which was a rather large one, set apart for the use of various members of the tribe on such special occasions.
"Now strip thee, lass, and gie us a sight of thy juicy koont afore I fook thee!" said Zach, imperatively. 'Thou's now all mine or now't, as I find thee."
Setting her a good example, he threw off jacket, vest, and breeks till he stood a dingy-looking Hercules in shirt and stockings, the former of which seemed anything but a clean wedding garment, looking a fair match in its unwashed tints to his olive-coloured skin. She, too, was too dark for it to be seen if her blushes betrayed the shock to her modesty which the sight of his tremendous yard, the big purple head of which jutted out beneath that dingy shirt.
"Tak't in thee hond gal, and feel how randy 'tis!" he said, lifting up her smock the moment she stepped out of her skirts, and the pair could then be seen standing side by side in the full light of the candles, their lips glued together in a sucking kiss, whilst each one's hands were busy caressing the other's privates. She was a fine plump young woman of about eighteen, with a mass of black hair falling loose over her shoulders, but her lovely eyes were hidden by the closing lids, as if afraid to look in his face, or see her fate in any way.
"Oh! you hurt me Zach; did you think I'd lost my maidenhead?" she said, flinching from the insertion of his big middle finger.
"Thou'll do; thou's right, my gal. Now kiss my p — k, and swear to be true to it, and never take another as long as you have me," he said.
She knelt down before him, and almost reverently imprinted two or three ardent kisses on the object of her desires, swearing the required oath in a peculiar kind of lingo quite im159 possible for Capias and Polly to understand, but they could see he was tremendously excited, for, lifting the fine girl fairly up in his brawny arms, he carried her to a heap of blankets, amp;c, evidently laid over a soft bed of ferns and heather, and falling upon it with her by his side his hands opened her willing thighs, giving a delicious view of a black bushy mount, with just a discernable vermillion slit at the bottom of the swarthy belly. He was between those plump thighs quicker than it takes to say so, and throwing his body over her began to kiss her face and neck in the most passionate manner, being too long in the body to do so to her heaving bosom, which he caressed and moulded with one hand. The girl seemed instinctively to open her thighs yet wider, as he put the head of his tremendous cock to the small-looking mark, opening the lips with his fingers till the head got in about an inch. Her hands pressed his buttocks down with all her force, and both seemed to quiver with emotion and spend at this moment, as they then lay motionless for a few seconds, till she gave his bottom a rare slap with one hand, and loudly whispered — "Try again Zach, my love; you did make me feel nice, as you spurted into me then; I shan't be so tight now!
Go on — go on — Oh! Oh! Oh, oh, oh!" as he gave a hard push, sending his rammer in three or four inches, and then, before she could recover from the agonising pain, thrust again and again, clasping her fainting body (as she gave a piercing scream and lost consciousness) with his muscular arms, grinding his teeth in erotic rage, and behaving like an anaconda enfolding its victim, till his p — k was sheathed to the roots of its hair, and dripping with her virgin blood at every withdrawal.
Polly and Capias were deliciously groping each other as they looked through the peep holes, but at this moment a loud burst of tambourines and rough music of all sorts arose from the camp fire, followed by a jolly chorus — "Hurrah, hurrah, for the bloody strife, That ends by making man and wife;
Hurray, hurray, she's a maid no more,
But a f-g wife for evermore!"
This startled Polly and Capias from their total abstraction.
"Ha! Is it like that with you two?" said Mildred, in a whisper. "I thought it would make you feel your feet again!" as she glided off into the gloom, and left them to peep and enjoy themselves all alone.
The noise and Zach's throbbing instrument in her tight sheath had now roused Miriam to life, as well as action, for in response to his movements she heaved up her rump and writhed in a perfect state of erotic frenzy, calling him to f-k her well, to shove all, all- balls and all — into her c-t, even biting his shoulder as she used all the bawdy expressions possible to think of. She was a demon at the game now, once thoroughly aroused, and to judge by her sighs and screams of delight was spending almost every few seconds, till she fairly exhausted her husband, who rolled off her body in spite of all endeavours to keep him on the go, and lay fairly vanquished beneath his rampant bride, who at once in triumph straddled over him, and transfixed his still stiff pego in her insatiable chink, riding him with all her might, till with an oath at her randiness he threw her off, and declined any more of it for a while.
Thus ended the episode of the gypsy camp, and our heroine with her legal friend regained their coach and continued the journey to town, whilst he related to her a tale of the seduction of two sisters, which by the assistance of a reading lamp he read from a piece of paper taken out of his pocket book: