Three: Christmas. A reasonable time to give a present to your girlfriend, no?
Yes.
But Jackson’s family went to Tokyo for the holidays, so he wasn’t there on the actual day. The day before he left, I gave him this great brown leather coat I found at Zelda’s Closet for thirty dollars. It was from the seventies, I think, and he had been saying he wanted a jacket like that for months. I was so happy when I found it. And he completely liked it—but he didn’t have anything for me.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know you were getting me anything.”
I said it was okay, it didn’t matter. But then, when he got back from Tokyo, I kind of thought he’d have something for me, then. Actually, I completely expected he’d have something. Is that insane? Bick bought Meghan a cashmere sweater. Finn saved up his money from working at the B&O and gave Kim a stack of CDs she’d been wanting. My dad gave my mom an amber necklace. But it was already January when Jackson got back, so I guess he figured Christmas was over and he had missed it.
Four: We had a fight. Jackson forgot that he had plans with me on Saturday, nothing much, he was just coming over to watch a movie on TV, but still. On Friday night we hung around at his friend Matt’s place with a bunch of his friends, and when he dropped me off, he very clearly said, “See you tomorrow.”
I called him on Saturday morning, and his mom said the Dodge needed a new muffler and he had taken his car to the shop and would be back around two. By five o’clock he hadn’t called.
By six o’clock he hadn’t called.
At seven, I called him again. “You just missed him,” she said. “Matt came by and picked him up. I think they went to the game.”
Well, I could go to the basketball game, if I wanted, and see him there. But the bus to Tate takes like forty-five minutes and only comes once an hour, and my mom and dad had gone to Juana’s house for a dinner party, so they weren’t driving me anywhere. Besides, I didn’t think any of my friends were going, and it seemed weird to go alone. I called Kim, and she was going to the circus with Finn; Nora and Cricket were over at Cricket’s and said I could come meet them at the B&O for coffee at nine, but I thought maybe Jackson’s mom was wrong and he was getting a ride to my house from Matt, not going to the basketball game at all. So I stayed home to wait for him.
He didn’t come.
I rang Jackson’s cell, but he didn’t pick up.
Our house seems cold and overly quiet when it’s empty. Because it’s on the water.
I read a little and watched TV, and made myself some ramen.
It seems stupid, but by ten o’clock I was crying. I had dialed the cell three more times, but I didn’t leave a message. Finally, I choked out the most relaxed-sounding thing I could think of to say, after the tone: “Hey, it’s Ruby. I somehow thought we had plans tonight? I guess I was wrong. But give me a call.”
He called at midnight. My parents weren’t home yet. He said he had just gotten the message, and I sounded upset, what was up?
“I’m not upset,” I said. “I thought you were coming over.”
“I went to the game with Matt,” he said. “It was excellent. Cabbie scored six times.”
“Didn’t you say you were coming over?” I asked.
“I don’t think so, Roo.”
“But you did,” I said. “We talked about it last night. To watch Annie Hall.”
“We see each other all the time,” Jackson said. “We see each other like every day.”
“I know.”
“So I need to go out with the guys sometimes, that’s all.”
“That’s fine,” I said. “I don’t care. I just thought we had plans.”
“It was a completely important game. We were playing Kingston.”
“I was waiting for you.”
He sighed. “Roo. Sometimes it’s like you want me all to yourself.”
“That’s not it.”
“Matt just came over and picked me up,” he said. “He practically kidnapped me.”
“Oh, so you did know we had plans?”
“He really wanted me to go; Kyle and the Whipper were in the back of the car. I swear, they pulled me in and wouldn’t even let me get my coat.”
“So you’re saying you knew we had plans and you went to the game anyway? Without even calling?”
“I just forgot.”
“Forgot to call, or forgot we had plans?”
“Ruby.”
“What?”
“Why are you being so insecure?”
“I’m not insecure,” I said—although I was. “I spent my Saturday night sitting home eating ramen, when I could have been doing something.”
“Well, why didn’t you do something? You could have gone to the game, or gone out with Nora. Or Cricket. Whatever.”
“I didn’t do anything because I had plans with you!” I cried.
There was a pause. “You’re getting too worked up about this,” Jackson said, finally.
I sniffed. I kind of hoped he could hear me crying over the phone and would realize what a jerk he’d been.
“Are you okay?” he finally said.
“Yeah.” Although obviously I wasn’t.
“You’re being oversensitive, Roo,” he said.
“Maybe.”
“I just went to the game with some guys.”
“That’s not the point.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Don’t you want to know what the point was?”
“I got up at six for cross-country practice,” Jackson said. “I’m completely shattered. We can talk about this tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I said. But I didn’t hang up.
“I’m gonna go, now, Roo,” he said.
“Okay, go, then.”
“All right. I’m hanging up. Good night.” And the line went dead.
The next day, Jackson called and came over in the afternoon. He brought me a brownie.
I ate it.
He said he was sorry. He should have called when he went to the game.
I thought he should have not gone to the game and should have come over to my house instead. But I didn’t say anything about that.
I said the brownie was perfect, and brownies were my favorite, and did he feel like walking down the dock and looking at the boats? He said yes, and so we did.
But later, I wished I hadn’t eaten that stupid brownie. I wished I had thrown it back at him and told him never to stand me up again.
Five: For Valentine’s Day at Tate this year, the senior class decided to raise money for the Downtown Seattle Soup Kitchen by selling flowers and delivering them. For three weeks ahead of time, they took orders at a table in the main building: a dollar for a carnation, two dollars for a daisy, three for a rose. You’d put in an order, pay cash and write a note to go with the flowers. Then on February 14, the seniors delivered the bouquets; they were showing up in classrooms, at the refectory tables, in the hallways, calling out names.
A lot of girls had had the foresight to send each other flowers. It was worth a few dollars so that your girlfriend could have Bick or the Whipper or Billy Alexander or some other hot senior interrupt math class with a rose. So there were a lot of deliveries. I sent daisies to Kim and Cricket and Nora, and I sent Jackson six roses with an anonymous card—but of course it would still be obvious whom they were from.
When I got to school that day, the whole place was buzzing. Kim already had a dozen roses from Finn the stud-muffin, and there was a daisy from Cricket in my mail cubby with a funny note. I saw Jackson after third-period French, and he hadn’t gotten the roses yet, so I didn’t say anything. I got a rose from Kim and a daisy from Nora, and a carnation from this guy Noel who stood next to me in Painting Elective, with a long goofy poem about unrequited love.11 Nora found the Playgirl in her mail cubby and cracked up.
Jackson sat with his friends at lunch, and I felt weird about him not having gotten the roses yet, so I pretended not to see him and hung out with Cricket, Kim and Nora. In fifth period, Nora showed me a rose she got from some guy she knew from basketball, which made her feel good even though she didn’t like him “that way,” and then asked to see what Jackson had sent me. I said Nothing yet, and she said, “Oh dear. I hope it’s not a frogless day!”