31
While I eat dinner at the alcove with my mom—another dynamite Friday night—the strangest thing happens.
Val calls me. Actually calls.
I know right away something is wrong. Val is a texter, which is odd for a girl who loves to talk, now that I think about it. Did Ezra spill the beans about our kiss?
No—kisses.
Multiple kisses.
“Hey,” I say, my voice tense with curiosity.
“What are you up to tonight?” Val sounds chipper, just like typical Val. Except typical Val wouldn’t call to ask me this.
“Nothing.”
“Becca! It’s Friday night!”
I tap my fork against the counter. “What’s up?”
“Do you want to meet up for coffee? I really need to talk to someone. The craziest thing just happened.”
“What?” I ask, a little too impatiently.
“Ezra just tried to break up with me.”
We rendezvous at Azucar, one of those hip coffeehouses that only exist near college campuses. A guy who would be cute were it not for the overdose of facial piercings slides a chai latte across the counter. I need to be here for Val, but I also want to be there with Ezra. A mishmash of emotions bounce around inside me like straitjacket-wearing psychopaths in a rubber room. It’s annoying how much real estate thinking about Ezra takes up in my head. I want to stop, but it’s like some sort of addiction that I keep lunging for.
“Roll it,” I say the second my latte hits my hand. I sink into the plush purple couch next to Val. She stirs her coffee.
“Last night, Ezra sent me this email saying that he didn’t think things were working, and that maybe we should see other people. And, sure, things haven’t been as great as they used to be, but that’s just the excitement of getting together wearing off. It happens to all couples.”
No, I say to myself, only to couples who are together for the wrong reasons.
“I’m so sorry! What a slimeball. Through email?” I say. And on second thought, did Ezra really have to break up via email? Val deserved better. “You should’ve called last night.”
“The thing is, I wasn’t upset last night. I was in shock, but I didn’t cry. I didn’t believe him. It seemed so abrupt. I was not going to sit back and watch my relationship dissolve. So I devised a plan.”
I lose my appetite for coffee. I should be the only one scheming on this couch. “What did you do?”
“I looked up quotes from movies that he loves and hid them around school, like a scavenger hunt for him. Under the piano in the band room, I hid a note that said ‘Play it again, Sam’ from Casablanca. He loves that movie, even though I fell asleep when we watched it. So he followed the clues around school until he ended up at my car. When I saw him walk up to me, I almost passed out or something. It was so romantic.”
It was. And clever. Who knew Val could construct something like this? She would’ve made a great co-Break-Up Artist in another life.
“What happened?” I sip my latte.
“I said we’ve been building something together, and I cared about him so much, too much to just accept his break-up. He once told me that relationships were about two people taking a leap of faith, having that initial attraction and seeing if there was more to it. Well, for me, I knew there was more to it. And if that meant waiting for him to come around, then I would, because I know we have something special. And he’ll realize it soon enough.”
I clutch my latte until it dents inward. Since Val isn’t in tears, I already know the answer, but I ask anyway: “So what did he say?”
“He pulled me in for a kiss. And it was...interstellar. Ezra’s an amazing kisser.”
I know!
I grit my teeth. My fingernail pokes a hole in my cup.
“So, crisis averted,” Val says, back to her beaming self. Seeing her happy irritates me in a whole new kind of way. “Want to split an M&M’s cookie?”
“No.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Val, can I ask you an honest question? Are you really into Ezra? Genuinely?”
“Of course!”
“No, you’re not!” My yell attracts the attention of every college hipster and Mac enthusiast in the room.
“Can we please end the charade? You just wanted a relationship. You were desperate for one! It’s so obvious.”
Val places her coffee on the table. She’s either way too calm, or I’m way too pissed. “It’s not like that. Yes, I know I was a little boy crazy—”
“Understatement of the millennium. All you’ve done is lie and deceive and manipulate just so you don’t have to walk down the hall alone. You needed a boy, and you got one. But that boy is a genuinely good guy who deserves someone who actually cares about him.” The words stream out of me before I have time to process them. I’m so hot that my drink feels cool in my hand. My feelings about their relationship cannot be bottled up any longer.
“I can’t believe my best friend is saying this. I never lied to Ezra,” she has the audacity to say.
“Oh, yeah? Tell that to Annie Hall. Or why don’t we reread the email you had me write?”
“You sound like a jealous lunatic. Do you have a crush on Ezra?”
“No!” I blush at the question, but my already red cheeks hide it.
“I don’t have to justify my relationship to you,” she says. She feverishly runs her fingers down her blond mane, as she always does when she’s frustrated. “If you really think this is all fake, then why is Ezra still in the picture?”
I marinate on that but can’t come up with an answer right away. Ezra wants real love. Why can’t he see through this sham?
“Do you like him, or do you like being in a relationship more?”
Fresh tears bulge at Val’s eyes, and a pang of misery stabs at me. Nothing is worse than making your best friend cry.
“Maybe I wasn’t totally honest with him at first. I didn’t want my lack of movie knowledge to ruin everything. But my feelings for him were always real.” Val wipes her eyes with a napkin. The tears keep coming. “I always found that expression ‘my heart skips a beat’ so ridiculous. As if some guy could really cause that. But he can. Whenever I see Ezra walk toward me in the hall with that adorable smile, or see his number pop up on my phone, or hear his voice, I feel my heart stop for a second. Like it’s sighing or something. And then my heart beats really fast. It’s freaky mind-over-matter stuff, but really cool. That happens every time I see him.”
Val stares at me with an intensity that I didn’t know such a perky person could summon, one that tells me without any doubt that she is dead serious.
“I love him. I love him so much,” she says.
Heat strangles my neck. I didn’t know it was possible to be so furious at someone you care about so much. “No, you don’t! How deluded are you? Your relationship is bullshit, Val!”
Before she can respond, I’m out the door, hitting the night air at full blast. A double dose of pain shoots through my chest. Not only have I made my best friend cry, but she’s in love with a guy who doesn’t love her back.
On the drive home, I crank up a news station on the radio. Maybe world unrest can distract me from the chaos that has become my life. I need to ignore the disgust I feel for myself.
I am in serious like with Ezra Drummond.
Even though he’s still with Val for some unknown reason, I can’t help it. My heart and mind are conspiring against me.
“I like Ezra Drummond!” I scream over the weather report. It feels great to say it out loud. And then the dread sinks in. I roll down my window. The breeze blows against my face.