Can I make the same decision? he asked himself. Theoretically, yes. For the first time, perhaps, since he'd closed the cloak's clasp around his throat, he had the opportunity to be rid of it. The cloak was a magical item, after all, and didn't the beholder Beth-Abz's central eye emit a beam that suppressed magic? With the eye tyrant's help, he could finally remove the cloak. And what then? Just tossing it overboard would be easiest, letting it drift forever in the Flow. Or, if he decided to follow the long-dead reigar's injunction to keep it out of the claws of the neogi, he could destroy it-burn it on the afterdeck, perhaps, with Beth-Abz's antimagic ray to counteract any magical defenses the cloak might have.
And then I'd be free…
But could he actually do that? For practical reasons, probably not. Just because he'd gotten rid of the cloak wouldn't mean that his many enemies would believe he'd done so. If the foes who were tracking him found they could no longer scry on the location of the cloak, would they believe he'd destroyed it? Of course not. Consciously giving up such power would be against their nature, and of course they'd assume that Teldin viewed the universe the way they did. No, instead of concluding that Teldin had destroyed the cloak, they'd decide that he'd just found some way of suppressing its magical "signature." Further, they'd probably even intensify their attempts to find him, since wouldn't suppressing that signature hint that he'd increased his control over the cloak's many powers?
So, to be free, he'd have to not only destroy the cloak, but inform everyone else that he'd actually done so. And convince them, too, because if they figured there was even a chance he was dissembling, they'd continue to pursue him. How could he do that?
He couldn't, he concluded sadly. It was a paradoxical position in which he found himself. He needed the powers of the cloak to protect him against his many enemies. Destroying it wouldn't get those enemies off his trail, but it would leave him helpless against them.
I've got no choice, after all, have I?
He gulped back the last of the sagecoarse, relishing its fire in the back of his throat. For a moment he considered pouring himself another, but then set the glass aside. What he really needed was fresh air.
The Boundless was on a three-watch rotation, with every crew member on duty for eight hours out of twenty-four. That meant that one third of the crew was on duty at any given time. Even though there was no day or night in wild-space or in the Flow, most human and demihuman crews kept to a twelve-hour day-night orientation, however. During the forenoon and the afternoon watches, two thirds of the crew were usually up and about-one third on duty, the other off but awake. During the night watch, however, most of the off-duty crew was asleep. It didn't make much sense if you looked at it logically, Teldin thought, but he'd noticed it held true on every ship he'd been aboard. That made the night watch-particularly the "bottom" of the watch, after four bells-the quietest time aboard the squid ship.
The saloon was empty as Teldin headed aft, out onto the main deck. Then he climbed the ladder against the port rail, up to the foredeck. Dargeth, the half-orc, was working on the catapult, lubricating the bearings with oil and checking the ropes and fiber skeins for rot or damage. He looked up as Teldin stepped onto the forecastle.
"Captain," the burly fellow said, pulling himself up to his full height. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
Teldin couldn't help but smile. Even after weeks of serving aboard the Boundless, Dargeth still seemed as keen and eager to please as he'd been the day he first stepped aboard. "No, nothing," he answered, "just out for a stroll. Don't let me interrupt you." The half-ore relaxed visibly, but still obviously didn't feel comfortable turning his back on his captain to return to work. The Cloakmaster strolled over to the rail and stared out into the swirled colors of the Flow.
After a moment, he felt Dargeth's presence as the larger man joined him. "Did… did the captain come out for some fresh air?" he asked diffidently.
Teldin nodded. "Sometimes the captain would like to forget for a couple of minutes that he is the captain," he said wryly. He turned to regard the big half-ore. "Are you from Crescent, Dargeth?" he asked.
The man shook his head hurriedly. "No, not from Crescent," he stammered. "No, Captain, I was born in Baldur's Gate, on the Sword Coast of Toril."
"I've been to Toril," Teldin answered idly. "Twice. Once to Nimbral in the south, once to Evermeet."
"Nimbral?" Dargeth turned to stare at him. "The land of magic? Truly?"
Teldin chuckled. "Truly, it wasn't that wondrous." He sighed, it seemed like a fine world, Toril," he went on quietly, "what little I saw of it. Someday, maybe, I'd like to return."
"It is a fine world, Captain," Dargeth confirmed, "and the Sword Coast maybe finer than most parts."
"I'd like the opportunity to see it. Maybe settle down for a while."
"If the captain pleases," the half-orc said shyly, "maybe I could show you the sights. I'm not an expert, of course, not really, but I did live there for twenty years."
Teldin smiled. Dargeth's enthusiasm, his desire to be of help, was touching.
But then he felt his smile fade. Will I ever have the chance to take him up on his offer? he wondered sadly. I think I'd like that, to be just a tourist with a native guide. But what were the odds that either of them Would ever make it back to Toril?
He sighed, pushed himself away from the rail. "If we both find ourselves on Toril, I'll take you up on that," he told the half-orc. "And, Dargeth,… thanks." He turned away. "I think it's time I hit my bunk."
He started down the ladder, but turned back when Dargeth called after him. "Captain, would it be possible for the second mate to help me with the catapult tomorrow?" he asked. "She was such a help to Allyn, the old gunner's mate, before we left Heartspace."
"I'll talk to her," the Cloakmaster promised. As he descended the ladder, he saw Dargeth return happily to his work. He smiled sadly, remembering the good, honest satisfaction of working with his hands, of a job well done. Will I ever have the chance to relive that? he wondered.
As he reached the main deck, a bloated, roughly spherical shape emerged from the companionway that led below. Beth-Abz's great central eye reflected the shifting light of the phlogiston, making the creature's form look even more surreal. With the faintest of clicking sounds, a handful of eyestalks pivoted around to inspect the Cloakmaster.
"Greetings, Teldin Moore," the creature said in its deep, swamp-bottom voice. "Do you seek solace in the void, as I do?"
The Cloakmaster looked at the eye tyrant curiously. He knew from the comments of other crew members that the beholder frequently could be found on deck during the night watch, its eyestalks pointing in half a dozen directions as though it wished to see absolutely everything that surrounded it. Teldin had often wondered why, but had never had the opportunity to ask. Now he moved over and leaned against the rail again-This is my night for unexpected conversations, he thought wryly-and said, "I don't really know, Beth-Abz. Sometimes I come out here for fresh air. But solace?" He shrugged.
The beholder floated over to join Teldin at the rail. Side by side they stared out into the chaos of the Flow. "It is solace I seek," Beth-Abz said quietly. "Solace for the loss of my clan and of my nation. Solace for my solitude." It paused for a few moments. "Sometimes I seek peace and the certainty that the decisions I have made were the right ones."
Teldin found himself nodding. "I guess I am looking for the same thing," he said slowly. "Different decisions, but I suppose the doubts are the same." He looked over at his comrade. "Do you ever find what you're looking for?"