Handing Axl the rope, Gawain went striding off, not stopping till he stood where the land’s edge appeared to meet the sky. Axl, one knee pressed into the grass, tied the rope tightly around the notch in the wood, then looked once more over to his wife. She was standing at the cairn much as before, and though something in her posture again tugged at him, he was relieved to find in himself no trace of the earlier bitterness. Instead he felt almost overcome by an urge to defend her, not just from the harsh wind, but from something else large and dark even then gathering around them. He rose and hurried to her.
“The goat’s well secured, princess,” he said. “Just as soon as you’re ready, let’s be off down this slope. For haven’t we completed the errand promised to those children and to ourselves?”
“Oh Axl, I don’t want to go back to those woods.”
“What are you saying, princess?”
“Axl, you never went to the pond’s edge, you were so busy talking to this knight. You never looked into that chilly water.”
“These winds have tired you, princess.”
“I saw their faces staring up as if resting in their beds.”
“Who, princess?”
“The babes, and only a short way beneath the water’s surface. I thought first they were smiling, and some waving, but when I went nearer I saw how they lay unmoving.”
“Just another dream came to you while you rested against that tree. I remember seeing you asleep there and took comfort from it at the time, even as I talked with the old knight.”
“I truly saw them, Axl. Among the green weed. Let’s not go back to that wood, for I’m sure some evil lingers there.”
Sir Gawain, gazing down at the view, had raised his arm in the air, and now without turning, shouted through the wind: “They’ll soon be upon us! They come up the slope eagerly.”
“Let’s go to him, princess, but keep the cloak around you. I was foolish to bring you this far, but we’ll soon find shelter again. Yet let’s see what troubles the good knight.”
The goat was pulling at its rope as they passed, but the stake showed no sign of shifting. Axl had been keen to see how near the approaching figures were, but now the old knight came walking towards them, and they all three halted not far from where the animal was tethered.
“Sir Gawain,” Axl said, “my wife grows weak and must return to shelter and food. May we carry her down on your horse as we brought her up?”
“What’s this you ask? Too much, sir! Did I not tell you when we met in Merlin’s wood to climb this hill no further? It was you both insisted on coming here.”
“Perhaps we were foolish, sir, but we had a purpose, and if we must turn back without you, you must promise not to free this goat cost us so dearly to bring here.”
“Free the goat? What do I care for your goat, sir? The Saxon warrior will soon be upon us, and what a fellow he is! Go, look if you doubt it! What do I care for your goat? Master Axl, I see you before me now and I’m reminded of that night. The wind as fierce then as this one. And you, cursing Arthur to his face while the rest of us stood with heads bowed! For who wanted the task of striking you down? Each of us hiding from the king’s eye, for fear he’d command with one glance to run you through, unarmed though you were. But see, sir, Arthur was a great king, and here’s more proof of it! You cursed him before his finest knights, yet he replied gently to you. You recall this, sir?”
“I recall nothing of it, Sir Gawain. Your she-dragon’s breath keeps it all from me.”
“My eyes lowered like the rest, expecting your head to roll past my feet even as I gazed down at them! Yet Arthur spoke to you with gentleness! You don’t recall even a part of it? The wind that night almost as strong as this one, our tent ready to fly into the dark sky. Yet Arthur meets curses with gentle words. He thanked you for your service. For your friendship. And he bade us all think of you with honour. I myself whispered farewell to you, sir, as you took your fury into the storm. You didn’t hear me, for it was said under my breath, but a sincere farewell all the same, and I wasn’t alone. We all shared something of your anger, sir, even if you did wrong to curse Arthur, and on the very day of his great victory! You say now Querig’s breath keeps this from your mind, or is it the years alone, or even this wind enough to make the wisest monk a fool?”
“I don’t care for any of these memories, Sir Gawain. Today I seek others from another stormy night my wife speaks of.”
“A sincere farewell I bade you, sir, and let me confess it, when you cursed Arthur a small part of me spoke through you. For that was a great treaty you brokered, and well held for years. Didn’t all men, Christian and pagan, sleep more easily for it, even on the eve of battle? To fight knowing our innocents safe in our villages? And yet, sir, the wars didn’t finish. Where once we fought for land and God, we now fought to avenge fallen comrades, themselves slaughtered in vengeance. Where could it end? Babes growing to men knowing only days of war. And your great law already suffering violation …”
“The law was well held on both sides until that day, Sir Gawain,” Axl said. “It was an unholy thing to break it.”
“Ah, now you recall it!”
“My memory’s of God himself betrayed, sir. And I’m not sorry if the mist robs me further of it.”
“For a time I wished the same of the mist, Master Axl. Yet soon I understood the hand of a truly great king. For the wars stopped at last, wasn’t that so, sir? Hasn’t peace been our companion since that day?”
“Remind me no more, Sir Gawain. I don’t thank you for it. Let me see instead the life I led with my dear wife, shivering here beside me. Will you not lend us your horse, sir? At least down to the woods where we met. We’ll leave him safely there to await you.”
“Oh Axl, I’ll not return to those woods! Why insist we leave this place now and go down there? Can it be, husband, you still fear the mist’s fading, never mind the promise I made you?”
“My horse, sir? You imply I’ve no more use of my Horace? You go too far, sir! I don’t fear him, even if he’s youth on his side!”
“I imply nothing, Sir Gawain, only ask for the assistance of your excellent horse to carry my wife down to shelter …”
“My horse, sir? Do you insist his eyes be masked or watch his master’s fall? He’s a battlehorse, sir! Not some pony frolics in buttercups! A battlehorse, sir, and well ready to see me fall or triumph as God wills!”
“If my wife must travel on my own back, sir knight, so be it. Yet I thought you might spare your horse at least the distance down to the wood …”
“I’ll remain here, Axl, never mind this cruel wind, and if Master Wistan’s nearly upon us, we’ll stay and see if it’s him or the she-dragon survives this day. Or is it you’d rather not see the mist fade after all, husband?”
“I’ve seen it before many times, sir! An eager young one brought down by a wise old head. Many times!”
“Sir, let me implore you again to remember your gentlemanly ways. This wind drains my wife of strength.”
“Is it not enough, husband, I swore you an oath, and only this morning, I’d not let go what I feel in my heart for you today, no matter what the mist’s fading reveals?”
“Will you not understand the acts of a great king, sir? We can only watch and wonder. A great king, like God himself, must perform deeds mortals flinch from! Do you think there were none that caught my eye? A tender flower or two passed on the way I didn’t long to press to my bosom? Is this metal coat to be my only bedfellow? Who calls me a coward, sir? Or a slaughterer of babes? Where were you that day? Were you with us? My helmet! I left it in those woods! But what need of it now? The armour too I’d take off but I fear you all laughing to see the skinned fox beneath!”