When I got home there wasn't a whisper in the house only for the flies, nothing only da in the armchair by the radio. I was talking away to him about Philip and how it was better to be straight with people and not keep them hanging on. I made tea and I asked him did he want some. I said: What are you doing there? Looking out at the snowdrop? I said even if Philip wants to come out to the river with me and Joe, as long as he understands that its always going to be me and Joe in the end. I thought maybe da'd had a Tower bar do you remember the old days party for the house was littered with bottles and the trumpet lying over by the skirting board so I reckoned he just wasn't fit to answer me. I gave his shoulder a bit of a shake and when the hankie fell out of his pocket I saw that it was all dried blood. Oh da, I said, I didn't know and I felt his forehead it was cold as ice. I said: Don't worry da. I'll look after you. I'll see that you're all right. I might have let you down before but not this time! Oh no – not this time! Us Bradys – we'll show them! We'll show them we stick together!
I saw him smiling when I said that. I pulled his chair into the fire and said sit in there da go on now. I built it up good and high I used anything I could find in the yard it was the first time there had been a fire in the house for as long as I could remember. It was good, flickering away there and the shadows swarming all over the ceiling. I rooted about and found bread and toasted it on a fork then we had tea all we did was just sit there that was all we wanted to do. Da looked at me and when I seen those eyes so sad and hurt I wanted to say: I love you da.
They said to me: You won't leave me son.
I said: I won't da. I'll never leave you.
This time its going to be all right – isn't it son?
I said it was. We're going to be a happy family son. I knew we would be in the end. I said we were. I'd make sure we were, I said. It was all up to me now. Me and nobody else. Then he said to me the trumpet find the trumpet. I lifted it and polished it up until it was shining just like it used to. Then I put it away in its felted case just like he did, laying it to rest like an infant after a long day. Don't let them touch my trumpet Francie! he said.
I told him he didn't have to worry, his worrying days were over. Your worrying days are over, da, I said.
I touched the back of his hand.
Thanks Francie, he said and I was so happy that we were able to say these things to one another that I cried, the tears just came streaming down as I sat there with my head resting on his shoulder.
The next day I says its up to me now its all up to me and nobody else they'll soon see what the Bradys are made of!
I went up the town and into the shop, shopping basket and all. I could see Mrs Connolly pointing to it and the other women crinkling up their foreheads its not too often you see Francie Brady with a shopping basket. Indeed it isn't ladies I said but you'll be seeing it plenty from now on, I'm going to be a busy man! I don't know where to start with all these jobs Mrs Connolly, I says.
I think she thought I was joking for a minute but when she seen I wasn't laughing her face changed and she went all serious oh yes she says no one likes doing them but they have to be done ha ha. That's right says the other women that's very true. When I got my things I said well ladies I can't delay have to get back to the grindstone oh now Francie they said its near time we went home ourselves we'd stand here gossiping half the day if we were let. Ha ha I said.
When I was cleaning out the coalhouse what did I find only the old television. I put it sitting on the table in the same place it used to be. By the time I was finished the shed was spotless. Now what will I do I said. I made da tea and tidied the upstairs. I always made sure never to miss Friday Night Is Music Night!
That was da's favourite programme. He used always come home from the Tower to listen to it and dare you talk while it was on. Ladies and gentlemen – here is your host, Mr Ian-Priestly Mitchell!
No matter what I did Jeyes Fluid or anything there was still a bit of a stink and flies about after the pilchards so I went back up the street and got flypapers they were supposed to be better than the sprays and as well as that you could see how many you got.
Every so often I checked the flypapers and counted them. It didn't take long. In no time at all I had eleven. I went up to get another paper just in case that one got full up too quick. Well well says Father Dom. Francis he says you're a man with things to do I think that's the fifth time I've seen you go up and down that street today. Who did Dom think he was – Fabian of the Yard? Oh yes Father I'm doing a bit of Spring cleaning below in the house I need this and that you know yourself. What's that you have there he says don't tell me you're smoking. Oh no says I its a flypaper that's all you won't catch me at the smoking Father. Not yet anyhow he says. Mm mm he says you've quit going to school altogether I see, would that be right Francis? Yes I said I've quit the school now and that's it. Isn't that a pity now, he says, for they'll tell you the schooling stands to you. I suppose it does ah well that's the way then I said I had to go into the Tower for a few bottles of stout. You're not at the drinking Francis, don't tell me you're at the drinking. Ah no, Father, I says, just a few bottles for the boss. Oh I see he says all relieved, they're for the man himself. Indeed they are I said and said good luck to him and off he floated till he met some woman Father come here till I tell you. After the stout that was the end of the money. There was none left in da's pockets and nothing in the bin only a crust. I sat with da thinking was there anything I could do then in the end I went round to Leddy. Don't worry da, I said, I'll start early in the mornings and get home early in the evening. It'll be OK, you'll see.
He looked at me and he said: You won't leave me son?
But he didn't have to worry. I wasn't going to leave him. I wasn't going to let ma and da or anyone down ever again.
There's the man that wants no more truck with pigs, he says. I'd like a job Mr Leddy I said. The smell of piss and shit and dirty guts you never seen the like of it. At the side of the slaughterhouse there was a concrete pit where they just threw out the manure and the guts and the offal and let it pile away up. The Pit of Guts, that's what I called that place. Grouse Armstrong was trailing a big sheet of white skin with innards attached to it across the yard stopping the odd time to tear and paw at it. There was steam coming up out of the pit and it was crawling with bluebottles. It was moving, you'd think it'd get up and just walk across the yard and away. Every two seconds Leddy'd draw in this big deep breath with the sound of snots like paper tearing. I dare say you weren't in too many places like this he says then I could see by him he was thinking so this is the famous Francie Brady well we'll soon see how tough he is we'll soon see how tough he is when he's inside Leddy's slaughterhouse. But I smiled away and every time he told me something about it I said that's very interesting and the worse he got about all the things I'd have to do in the place, the better I said it was. You'll have to be up and out at the crack of dawn he says, what do you think of that? I said that's fine Mr Leddy. Any man thinks this work is easy needs his head examined – you want to be tough to work here! Indeed you do Mr Leddy I said and I could see he liked me calling him that so I kept on doing it. It wouldn't have been a good idea to say I suppose you should know all these things considering you are a pig yourself with your big pink pig head but I would have liked to say it the way he was going on. Like he was some kind of visiting professor down from the Cutting Up Pigs University. The more he talked the more he wanted to talk. Pigs, by Mr Leddy. That was what I thought but I kept on nodding away. O yes. And Hmm. If you don't pull your weight he says its down that road straight away I've no time for wasters. O you'll have no trouble with me Mr Leddy I says. Good he says for I daresay they're not falling over themselves giving you jobs about this town. Now he says what about this fellow and this little pig looks out at me through the bars, what do you think of him? I says O he's lovely but I forgot myself for that wasn't what Leddy wanted me to say. Lovely he says, you think he's lovely. Good he says and scoops him up in his arms. Now he says take a good look at him. He was as pink as a baby's bottom and he said to me with his big eyes: I'm not a big pig yet I don't understand anything. Please – will you not let any harm come to me? And his front trotters dangling over Leddy's tattoo it was a snaked sword. Isn't he lovely says Leddy again he sure is he sure is and next thing what has he in his hand only a gun not a real gun it was a captive bolt pistol and what does he do only stick it into the baby pig's head and bid-dunk!, right into his skull goes the bolt and such a squeal. Then down on the concrete plop and not a squeak out of him all you could see was him saying you said you'd mind me and you didn't. Then Leddy looks at me haw haw haw and all this as much as to say whaddya think John Wayne huh betcha didn't expect that! Huh! he says, huh? He was all excited and the bottom lip was starting to go I knew he wasn't as tough as he let on, all he was saying was don't try any of your tricks on me Brady, just the same as the master. But it was a good one all the same. What d'you think now, eh? he says. Very good, top marks Mr Leddy, top marks from the Shooting Piglets University. Or I could say why oh why did you have to do such a terrible thing to him he never harmed anyone in his whole life you're a cruel cruel man Mr Leddy! and throw myself down on top of the poor little dead little baby pig lying there with his mouth open.