But it wasn't like that any more.
I HAD FIVE FLYPAPERS ALTOGETHER NOW. I KEPT THEM IN THE cupboard where all the old clothes were. The best of all was the brass band da I'd say, playing in the chapel yard at Christmas what do you say? He said it sure was. All the things people would say to you. Please God we'll all be here this time next year and all this. We had some good laughs too about ma and the things she used to say. There he is again this year she'd say, my snowdrop. I'd sit there in the dark and all you could see was the green bead of light twinging in the radio and hear the drone of the fan outside in the lane. You could hear the carnival music at the far end of the town it must have been the same for them all those years ago in Bundoran, standing there with the smell of chips all along the strand. The music was different in them days On The Sunny Side of The Street that was the one they played as the wheel turned and ma cried save me Benny save me we play that one with the town band said da as he twined his fingers round hers. They were just standing there now listening to the hush of the sea. There was nothing else to listen to now that the carnival was all locked up. Ssh, said the sea. That was all it said. Ssh. We're going to be happy Benny aren't we? she said. Yes, he said, we're going to be the two happiest people in the whole world. He held her then and they kissed. You wouldn't really think of ma and da kissing but they did and the moon was so close to ma as she lay back in his arms that she could have reached up and put it in her pocket.
They went back to the boarding house where the woman had left the key under the mat for them. She said: For the man who sang my favourite song for me – I dreamt that I dwelt in marble halls!
Did you sing that for the landlady da, I asked.
I did he says, do you know what she used to call us?
What da?, I says.
The lovebirds, says da.
I thought of them lying there together on the pink candlewick bedspread and I knew they were both thinking of the same things, all the beautiful things in the world.
WHAT ELSE HAD CHANGED SINCE I STARTED WORKING WITH Leddy, the town.
It had turned into a big ocean liner that had been lying sunk at the bottom of the ocean and now was rising up out of the waves all glittering with lights and flags ready to sail wherever I wanted to go. If I could have gone down to Joe's house to tell him all about this it would have been good it would have been the best ever. Anything you want Joe I'd say to myself on the way to his house you can have it now because I'm going to buy it for you. We could go up on the deck and I'd show it to him, all spread out before him and say whatever you want Joe its all yours. You could see the lights of far off cities from it even. Where do you want to go Joe? You're the boss. I'd swoop away off over the roofs with bundles of ten bob notes and drop them all over the town like confetti. It would be good if it could have happened like that with Joe but it wouldn't so it was no use thinking about it.
I was going into the Tower to get some stout to go with the sandwiches and when I was coming out I seen Mr Purcell getting out of his car. The bottles wouldn't stop clinking quit clinking bottles I said I stood there in the alleyway where I couldn't be seen. Mr Purcell closed the car door and folded his raincoat. Then Joe was standing there beside him just looking up and down the street. Then who gets out the other side only Philip Nugent, I went cold all over when I saw him, the hair down over his eyes. Then he goes over and stands beside Joe, opens a book and starts showing him something in it and the two of them laughing away. Mr Nugent opened the other door and then Mrs Nugent got out. He says let me help you there we are. After that they all went inside Purcell's house and closed the door. It was starting to rain. I crossed the street and hunkered down at the window. I could see the grey glow of the television as it was turned on in the sitting room. Joe was pointing at something. Then Philip Nugent appeared, tossing back his hair. Look look Joe was saying, its Johnny Kidd and The Pirates. All I could see were the shadowy shapes but I could hear the twanging guitars. I felt bad because I didn't know about them or songs or any of that. I said to myself: All you know about is John Wayne Francie. It was hard to make out the other voices with the noise of the telly. Mr Nugent and Mr Purcell were talking about gardening and setting seed potatoes. Very true very true indeed said Mr Nugent. Then he said something about grubs on his potatoes. Mrs Purcell was in great humour, talking away to Mrs Nugent. For a minute I didn't catch on that it was me and Joe she was talking about at all, I got it mixed up with the woman on the telly. It was the best thing ever happened to our Joe said Mrs Purcell he had us worried sick running about with that other fellow. O Joseph is a grand lad now said Mrs Nugent, the best, we're very fond of him. They're mad into this music says Mrs Purcell but sure I suppose aren't all the teenagers?
Indeed they are says Mrs Nugent. Well let them enjoy their freedom now, that's what I say, weren't we young once ourselves Mrs?
We were, we were indeed Mrs now you said it. Let them enjoy it now for they won't have the time next year. Next year is when the serious study starts. There'll be no gallivanting then!
Mrs Purcell folded her arms.
O that reminds me, says Mrs Nugent, do you remember I was telling you about St Vincent's College?
Then Joe and Philip left the room and went upstairs and the song starts again when you move in right up close to me, I think it was a real guitar. I think Philip was playing it. Then I seen Mrs Nugent coming in with a plate. She stood in the middle of the room and said: Would you like some scones Mrs Purcell?
It was only when I got home I realized I had forgot the bottles and when I went back they were gone. The Purcell's car was gone too and the street was black and deserted, all you could hear was the wind blowing a tin can across the Diamond.
The next day I asked Leddy about it but he said to fuck up and quit raving what did he know about snowdrops and orange skies. After that I thought maybe he was right fuck snowdrops and skies and the children and fucking everything. So that night I said to da I won't be home till late you'll be all right won't you then off I went to the Tower Bar and I says to the ten bob note we're not going home until every penny's gone then off up on the deck of the ocean liner we're off I says and I don't care where we're going. Whee-hoo! I shouted as I stumbled and fell up the street full to the gills with whiskey. The drunk lad let a few roars at me – Do you know me do you?
I swayed there for a bit with my shoulder up and shouts back at him Do you know me do you?
No he says do you know me? and we went on like that for a good while until the pair of us were falling across the Diamond singing I wonder who's kissing her now?
I stood on the steps of the bank and shouted Brady the Pig Man up she flew and the cock flattened her!
Fair dues said the drunk lad you're a good one Brady! We went into every pub in the town. The pig men are here I shouts and got down on all fours with the drunk riding on my back singing I wonder who's kissing her now. They gave us plenty of cheers when we did that. I didn't know pigs could sing says this lad laughing. Well you know now I says, and they can drink whiskey too so come on. Snort, says I, and down the hatch.
If the drunk lad wasn't around I'd lie in the doorway of the Tower singing into the neck of the beer bottle.
I went to the dances but I knew they wouldn't dance with me. I'm sorry but I don't dance with pigs they'd say. What did I care? Did they think I cared? There was this one in a pink cardigan holding her twenty fags and looking away when she seen me coming. The drunk lad kept saying go on go on ask her I says I will will you get out of my way for fuck's sake he kept pulling at me. Excuse me I says to her would you like to dance? She was wearing a black hairband and she made on to fix it then she says no I'm with my friends. I could see the drunk lad laughing away look at Brady would you look at Brady he says. I knew he was still looking at me so I says to her: Why didn't you bring your knitting? and she got as red as a beetroot. I went away laughing my arse off. The drunk lad thought this was the best yet. Jesus, he says, you're the best man in this town – did you bring your knitting! He told this to everyone he saw. After that there was no end to what I said to the women. They wouldn't say no thanks to me again for I wouldn't give them the chance. The drunk lad told me all about women. They're all the one when they're on the flat of their back! he says. H'ho would ye look at that he says, I'd give her the johnny and no mistake! I'm the man would slip the boy in there double quick! Sometimes we sat on the stage and shouted up at the musicians: Youse can play fuck all! The bands wore white suits and sang I Love My Mother and Take Me Back to Dixie. They didn't sell drink in the hall so me and the drunk lad brought our own. The bouncer says you can't drink here but I says why not. Because I say so that's why he says. I looked at him and laughed. He had a broken nose and a face like a scalded prawn. I don't like people laughing he says. Out! No, says I, then the drunk lad says Jesus don't say that to him he was in the army. He got a hold of me and threw me round the hall, he kicked me along like a ball of newspaper and the women going ee ee. He got me outside and lay into me with kicks. I'd fly this way and that all I could see was a blur of lights and the guitars twanging away at the national anthem. He got me against the boot of a car spits on his lip and his pudgy fist up against my chin. If you show your face round here again Brady this'll be nothing to what you'll get. Yes, I said, boo hoo. But I always went back the week after and there we'd be again slugging the Johnny Walker and the bouncer on his way over hey hey and what the fuck did I tell you last week Brady? Leddy used to say to me where did you get all them bruises for the love of Christ look at you. Oh I'd say, I tripped over a straw and a hen kicked me. Other times I'd go off to different dancehalls round the place and hang about at the back till I saw someone that thought he was a good man in a row. He'd be dancing away with his girlfriend shouting into her ear about liking Cliff Richard or saying the guitar player in the band was his cousin or some other pack of lies then I'd dunt against him and he'd say watch where you're going. I might say nothing at all or I might just look at him with a big stupid face on me you'd think I was going to burst out laughing. What are you looking at he'd say again then but I'd still say nothing just scratch my nose or pick it, anything at all. Then he'd lose the rag because he thought the girl was saying to him well are you going to let him say that to you or are you going to do something about it then he'd tear into me. But it wasn't like with the bouncer, I wouldn't let him kick me around. By the time the fight was over they were always on the floor crawling round help me and the women losing their minds. Come on you fucker I'd say again standing over them with my fist clenched but they'd just lie there. It'd be nearly bright by the time I got home and there was no sense in going to sleep so I'd just sit there with da thinking about things one thing I thought was dumb people must have black holes in their stomachs from not being able to cry out.