Who's that gone by on the bike? What's he talking about – ducks?
The next day I got dressed up again and went back down to the cafe I knew they'd have to be in sooner or later. I sat in their place and put the song on. I lit a fag and then I lit another one. It was good looking at the street through the twisty horns of smoke. I put the song over and over but there was still no sign of them. I smoked a good few fags. I smoked maybe twenty or thirty. I came back the next day and did the same again. And I came back the day after that. It was dark when I was going home. The owner was sweeping up. He was an Italian. He said: Ees quiet now. Not so much people around now. I said there wasn't. He said it was no good in the town in the winter. I said Joe and the girls and Philip why are they not coming in?
He didn't know who I was talking about for a minute. Then he breaks into a big smile. Ah, Joseph!, he says – and Philip! Yes yes yes!
Then he starts shaking his head and trying to poke a Kit Kat wrapper out from under the seat with the brush.
No, he says, I am afraid we have not seen them for a long time. They are away. They were good customers of mine. I miss them.
I said: What are you talking about, away? I don't know, he says, away, that is all I know. I went to light up a fag but there was none left only an empty box. I said to him have you any fags no he says I do not sell cigarettes we are closing now please. I must have asked him for fags again.
He says: I told you! Cigarettes, I do not sell them! Now please! He opened the door.
One fag then, I says, I'll give you a tanner.
Please! he says.
I kept thinking I was going to meet Joe or the blondie one or some of them on the street so I didn't want to take the jacket off just in case. Leddy started into me over it – for the love of Christ he says and all this but I says what do you care what I wear all you care about is me collecting the brock as long as I do that what do you care if I come in in a cowboy hat! Oh for fuck's sake! he says and in the end he just threw the fag into the gutter and says: Do it then do what you fucking well like I'm past talking to you God's curse the day I took you in in the first place!
I said: Don't worry, I'll work twice as hard now that I'm back you won't have any complaints about me Mr Leddy!
After that I didn't wait for him to tell me to do anything. I was cleaning and hosing and chopping and sawing and packing, anything there was to be done it was done hours before Leddy knew it had to be done. I worked until the sweat ran out of me. Then when I was finished I'd be away off to see if I could see Joe for I said to myself that the cafe man was talking through his arse go back to Italy I said. A couple of times I thought I saw them but it was just some other girl with blonde hair. Every night I left the brock cart back in the slaughterhouse yard beside the Pit of Guts and locked up. There was one thing Leddy was right about and that was I had ruined my good jacket all right for when I was heeling a bin into the cart stew or some stuff went all over me. I was wondering should I go back down and clean it before I went near Joe's for that was what I had decided to do I couldn't stick the empty streets and the waiting any more. Then I thought: What would you want to clean it for – do you think Joe cares if your coat is a bit dirty? What are you talking about Francie – Joe Purcell? He's your friend for God's sake! He's your best friend! I says what the hell am I at at all, thinking that about the jacket. You think some stupid things. It must have been my time in the garage I said. Then I went off down to Joe's house.
There was a light on in the front room I thought Joe was probably at his books we could listen to records after what records do you want Joe I'll get them. Cliff Richard! He was the only one I knew. But Joe would know plenty more it wouldn't be long before I knew the whole lot. When you move in right up close to me! I says and pasted back my hair. I scraped off as much of the stew as I could then I knocked on the door grinning from ear to ear like I'd won the Sweep hello there Mr Purcell I said I was wondering if the man himself was in. Mr Purcell looked straight at me and jerked back a little bit then he said what? So I had to go and say it all over again. And he began to smile as if I was telling him a joke or something. He scratched his forehead and stared past me like he was trying to catch the attention of somebody passing on the other side of the street. Then he says: Sure Joe is away at boarding school he's away in Bundoran at Saint Vincent's College this past six months. I was going to say O of course that's right I forgot about that but I couldn't for this brr was starting in my head like the noise the telly used to make if you fell asleep at night watching it. So I didn't say that at all and then the door clicked shut real soft, all these doors clicking shut and it was starting to rain.
I was still standing there watching the gutters fill up and wondering what I was going to do when I seen Mrs Connolly going by on the far side of the street with Mrs Nugent. She was carrying the umbrella and giving Mrs Nugent a good share of it so she didn't get wet. They stopped at the hotel corner and I seen Mrs Connolly's hand going up over her mouth. Mrs Nugent nodded away. She was saying: That's right. Oh you don't have to tell me Mrs Connolly! You don't have to tell me!
Then they parted and there was nothing only the rain sweeping over the town and the fires glowing in the sitting rooms and the smell of frying and the grey jumpy rays of television screens behind the curtains.
I went out to the river it was bulging nearly ready to burst its banks you could be eyeball to eyeball with the fish. I was shivering with the cold and the wet. I pulled at the grass along the edge of the bank and counted all the people that were gone on me now.
1. Da
2. Ma
3. Alo
4. Joe
When I said Joe's name all of a sudden I burst out laughing. For fuck's sake! I said, Joe gone! How the fuck would Joe be gone!
That was the best yet.
It was still raining when I called at Mrs Connolly's house. The rain was dribbling into my mouth. When she opened the door I could smell rashers and I think chips. I could see them all inside sitting by the fire and they were eating scones I heard one of them saying anybody for scones? Me! I'll have the whole plate if you don't mind. But I didn't say that I said nothing of the sort for I had business with Connolly. There was a barometer too, like Nugents. Mild weather it said, some barometer that was. She smiled at me and wiped her hands on her apron ah hello there Francie she said. Then up goes the what do you want eyebrow? I put my foot in against the door in case she'd try to close it before I was finished. The rain was all salty now it was in my eyes and it was getting on my nerves she says what can I do for you Francie and I says oh its just about my father ah yes your poor father she says may the Lord have mercy on his soul. She starts fiddling with her fingers and looking down when she said that so I said no no Have Mercy or any of that Mrs Connolly why did you not mind your own business this is the thing and she looks at me and starts stuttering. Mind my own business? What do you mean what are you talking about? I said you know very well what I'm talking about and she tries the Mrs Nugent trick pushing a tear out into the eye nobody did more for your poor father than me Francie I made all the arrangements for the funeral when nobody else would I cleaned and scrubbed God knows I did and my husband says what were you doing that for and I did it because I had pity on your dear departed father God rest him nobody knows the work that I put into that house. Then she starts sniffling and I says who asked you to clean that's the trouble with the people in this town they can't mind their own business can they they can't mind their own fucking business!