“Why?” Cain moved to get a better look at Emma’s face, never having heard this story.
“Because I’d never have to be afraid. If you could keep me safe, you would.”
Emma could see the wounded look her words caused. She had to tell the first part of this memory, though, so she could get to the wisdom that had been Marie.
“You didn’t fail her, love, and no matter her handicap, Marie understood more than you think. She finally said that you couldn’t be everywhere, and sometimes bad stuff happened. When it did, you still loved me and didn’t want it to occur. It just did sometimes.”
“But she didn’t deserve what happened to her.”
“No, she didn’t, but it wasn’t your fault, and it wouldn’t have taken place if you’d known about it. That’s the important thing here, love. If you’d known. You didn’t, and it’s time to stop beating yourself up about it. What happened to Marie happened because Danny was a sick bastard.”
Emma rested her head on Cain’s and sighed. “I almost wish he’d taken out his need to hurt us on me. Maybe that would’ve saved her.”
In an instant their positions reversed, and now Cain was doing the holding. “Don’t ever say that. Even though I lost Marie, I thank all that’s holy you don’t have to live with the pain of what he could have done that night.”
“Thank you for feeling that way, but I want you to forgive yourself for Marie.” Emma straddled Cain’s lap so they could look each other in the eye. “Will you at least try?”
“I’ll try.”
“And will you promise me something else?”
“Name it.”
“Heap on Gino Bracato the same pain he gave Marie. She was your sister, but she was my family too. I don’t know what happened to Danny, and I don’t care to know exactly what happened to Stephano, but Gino deserves to suffer.”
Cain put her hands around Emma’s hips and pulled her forward in a hug. “Thank you for that, but I don’t want you to say or know things you’ll have a hard time living with later. I treasure your compassion and the fact that you haven’t had to make any pacts with the devil yet. Because, believe me, he exacts a heavy toll at times.”
“Don’t patronize me, Cain.”
Cain smiled. “I’m not patronizing you, love. I’m just looking out for you.”
“But I can live with this wish.” Emma pushed herself up so Cain could see her eyes and the sincerity in them. “No one lives a complete life if they don’t learn from their mistakes. I adopted my mother’s perspective and considered everything either black or white, right or wrong, in its place or out of it. When I met you, I fell in love with you, but part of me thought what you did to earn a living was wrong.”
“But I am. Wrong, I mean, in the eyes of the law.”
“So what? Special Agent Kyle was supposed to be the law, and look what happened. I know now that you don’t go out of your way to hurt people, and what you do and how you do it isn’t hurting anyone but the IRS.” Emma pressed her fingers to Cain’s lips to keep her quiet for a while longer. “There’s something else. You know when to avenge a wrong done to someone you love, and just because you do, you’re not a horrible person.”
“That’s a change of heart,” mumbled Cain, the fingers still pressed to her mouth.
“It’s just the truth, sweetheart. Marie’s life meant more than Gino’s, so it’d be wrong to let him get away with what he did.”
“And he won’t. I’ll swear to that on a stack of Bibles.”
Before Cain could continue, the phone on the nightstand rang. It was one of the only secure lines in the house. “Casey,” she said. “No, it’s not too late, don’t worry about it.” She pulled Emma closer and listened to whatever the caller was saying. “I’ll try and make it in the morning.”
“Anything wrong?”
“Just a strange invitation. Nothing to worry about.”
“Good. Now we can go to sleep.” Emma snuggled up to Cain’s side. They would have many of these talks, she was sure, especially once Hayden came of age, but they’d get through them if they just said what was in their hearts. That and love would keep them whole.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“What happened tonight?” Merrick looked as if she couldn’t wait to hear the answer to her question.
Katlin stared at her over the rim of the glass of whiskey she’d just poured. After dropping two cubes of ice into the crystal tumbler, she poured another two fingers. “Do you usually talk to other people about the jobs you do for Cain?” She gulped the whiskey, and though she wanted another one, she shed her jacket and sat down. “If you do, you’ve got a problem.”
“Why do you insist on being so impossible?” Merrick asked.
“Look, lady, as much as I enjoy pushing your buttons, I don’t have the energy to fight with you. If you have an issue, take it up with Cain. I’m going to bed.” Katlin got up and headed toward Jarvis’s small guesthouse near the pool.
“Fuck me, man,” Katlin mumbled when she heard the echo of Merrick’s footsteps right behind her. “What?”
“I’m worried about Cain, so I’d like an answer to my question.” Merrick followed Katlin inside and stood with her hands on her hips.
Not caring what Merrick did, Katlin hung up her jacket and put her shoes in the closet. If the next day was going to be anything like this one, she needed some sleep. With a sigh she lay down and closed her eyes.
“Are you just not going to answer because it’s me, or is it just an annoying habit of yours to ignore people?” Merrick asked.
“Look, I don’t know why Cain chose me for this position instead of you. I don’t question my employer. If you have any complaints, problems, or concerns, Cain’s upstairs just waiting for you to bother her. But you and I aren’t friends, and I’m not into heart-to-heart discussions.”
Merrick watched Katlin rub her neck as if trying to work out a knot. “This isn’t getting us anywhere, so how about we start over?”
“Look, like I said, I’m sorry if I usurped your position with Cain, but I didn’t ask to be here, so starting over sounds good. Unless it means using knives and guns instead of words, or something equally drastic,” Katlin quipped. “I have a water bazooka, and I’m not afraid to use it.”
“Duly noted.” Merrick tried to sound bored, but she couldn’t stop her smile. “I know why our positions changed so quickly. I’m just not happy about it.”
The rubbing stopped, and Katlin opened her deep green eyes and hiked her brows in Merrick’s direction. “Like she said, she wants the best person taking care of Emma.”
“Yeah. I can’t be everywhere at once, so I’m glad you were available to pick up my slack,” Katlin said, and had to laugh when Merrick blew on the tip of her index finger, her hand in the shape of a gun.
The firm mattress barely budged when Merrick sat on it, and because she did, Katlin kept her eyes open.
When Merrick asked, “Will you tell me what happened tonight?” Katlin was tempted to knock out another smart-ass comment, but instead, with an almost technical detachment, she recapped everything Stephano had done and said before the end. She was almost shocked to see tears welling up in Merrick’s eyes.
“When I first came to work for Cain, I’d never dealt with somebody like Marie and I tried to avoid her. Thing was, though, Marie had a way of breaking through and making you like her. When Cain found her all broken like she was, I begged her to let me be the one to take care of Danny. I wanted to skin him slowly, but I never would have guessed he’d invite the Bracato boys to be there.” She tilted her dark head back and blinked furiously to clear her eyes. “Did killing him bother you?”
“Why would you ask me that?”
Merrick’s hands went up in a gesture of ignorance, then just as quickly dropped back down. “You just seem like something’s wrong.”