He spread his hands out in front of him and smiled. “I do go that extra mile to make sure you’re satisfied. But don’t worry—there’s no charge for that.”
“I see,” she repeated and pulled away the kitchen towel she’d grabbed before he’d arrived, then rested her hands on the edge of the desk. “I imagine, then, that the main control for these is somewhere in the house. When you submitted your final bill, I didn’t notice any mention of them, so now that you’re here, explain them to me.”
“Those aren’t mine, and I don’t know anything about them,” he said, his voice going up an octave.
“We’ll get to who they belong to and how they got here in a minute, but first let’s talk about your last chat with Emma. Do you remember the fine she mentioned?”
“She said five thousand per infraction.”
“Right here then we have five hundred and eighty thousand dollars worth of infractions.” She had laid every bug Katlin had found in neat rows on her desk. “And we’re talking the first floor only.” She stopped and picked up two that lay to the side of the others. “Do you know where we found these?” She held them up and Jimmy shook his head. “On the new playground equipment I put up for my daughter. I realize some people consider me a monster, but do you really think if I were, I’d show that side of myself in front of my four-year-old?” She slammed the devices back down on the desk.
“I don’t know who did that.” His lip trembled as he spoke.
“We have a problem, Jimmy. My math tells me that you owe me over a hundred grand at the moment.” She went on talking over him. “Did you bring your checkbook?”
“No.” His eyes were glassy now, but the tears were holding steady.
“That’s okay, because I’m not finished tabulating.” Cain saw Lou’s chest shake in quiet laughter when Jimmy appeared so relieved he took a small step forward. “Like I said, these were downstairs, and once I start on the second floor, the fine will be the same unless I find any in the master bedroom.”
“What happens then?” He sounded as if he had to choose between being disemboweled or burned alive.
“Are you married, Jimmy?”
“Five years.”
She nodded. “Any kids?”
“A three-year-old boy.”
“Uh-huh.” She picked up another bug and studied it. “How would you feel making love to your wife and sharing lovers’ conversations, only to have a bunch of people you don’t know listen in?”
“I wouldn’t like it.”
“Good for you, that was the right answer. Your wife would be proud.” She glanced up at him again and stood. From the way his eyes widened, she was sure he was surprised that she was taller by a few inches. “Back to our talk about the master bedroom. For every one of these I find up there,” she picked up another one at random, “it’s going to cost you a little bit more.”
“How much?” His tears had started and ran down his face almost as if he didn’t notice they were falling.
“Lou, you know Emma,” Cain said, addressing him for the first time and making him step closer to Jimmy. “How much do you think her dignity is worth?”
“A lot more than five grand, boss.”
“You’re right, but let’s give our boy here a chance to redeem himself. How about it?” she asked Jimmy. “One simple question and, if you tell me the truth, we call it even.”
“I’ve been telling the truth.” If Jimmy intended to protest anymore, he clicked his mouth shut when he felt Lou’s hand on his shoulder. “What do you want to know?”
“How many of these are in our bedroom? Tell me the truth and I’ll wipe your slate clear of debt for the second floor. Lie and it’ll cost you fifty for every one I find.”
“I don’t know anything about this, and I don’t have that kind of money.” Jimmy’s tears fell faster when she put her hands on her desk, she leaned over, and took a deep breath.
“Does that answer fit the question I asked? Do I need to explain how much I dislike repeating myself? And asking you if I look stupid is repeating myself.” Cain finally let go of some of her control and started screaming. “So answer my damn question.”
“None,” he blurted. “There’s none up there.”
Cain pointed at Katlin and the room fell silent again as she went to test his answer. For ten minutes Cain drummed her fingers in her usual uneven beat on her desk, and Jimmy continued to wipe his nose on his sleeve. A moment later they heard a loud noise, followed quickly by another—the sound of a hammer going through a wall. Katlin finally made it down and added another six to Cain’s collection.
“You’re not a very honest man, Jimmy,” Cain said. She scraped her nail along what she assumed was the speaker, hoping the idiots listening in had the volume turned up. “You owe me another three hundred thousand.”
“Are those on?” Jimmy asked, suddenly sounding like the panic was really setting in and he’d had a brilliant idea. “Is anyone listening to this?”
“If you want to yell for help, go ahead,” she said, handing him one of the bugs. “I ripped them out, but I didn’t destroy them. I’m guessing, but I think destruction of government property is a crime, and that’s not what we’re about. And if you want to know if anyone’s listening, the van you passed on the way in here is probably full of your new friends witnessing the crack your ass is in right now. Only if they come barging in here like the calvary, they also have to admit these belong to them.”
She leaned over and spoke directly into the new ones Katlin had brought down. “They’re not going to do that for you, Jimmy, because they’re after the big fish.” She pointed her thumb toward her chest. “And they don’t care how many little guppies go down in their pursuit. You know what they’re hoping for out there while they’re crammed in the back of that van like cockroaches?”
“What?”
“That I, in a fit of anger, blow your brains out all over the new rug Emma picked out for me. Then, believe me, they’ll come running, but only if that happens.”
“Can I go home?”
“Just one more thing.” Cain walked around her desk and grabbed him by the collar.
“Please don’t hurt me.”
“I’m not going to hurt you. Like I said, I’m not a monster, Jimmy. Today was just about talking to you and getting our finances straight. See, you shouldn’t have believed what other people said about me instead of asking me directly.” She smiled at him and tightened her hold on his collar. “I want you to divide the pile in two.” She dragged him forward and pointed to her desk.
“What for?”
“You’re going to swallow anything on the right, so keep that in mind when you divide it.”
His hands shook as he stretched it toward the pile. “Are you sure they’re working?”
Cain crooked her finger at Katlin so she’d run the locator over her desk. When she did, the needle on the meter jumped completely to the right. “They’re all working, and the calvary isn’t coming. Think about that when you pay your federal taxes.”
Jimmy peered at her with bloodshot eyes and mucus draining out of his nose. “But why?”
“In situations like this, you’re either a pawn or a prized target. You’re under a lot of stress and obviously not paying very close attention, so I’ll repeat myself so it’ll sink in. They’re waiting for the target to kill the pawn. Then they’ll rush in here. Now I do believe we’ve established that’s not going to happen. You can cry and beg all you want, but they’ll just sit and wait for the gunshot.”
“Only the ones on the right?” he asked. He made his cut as if ready to get it over with.
“About twenty-five,” Cain said when he was done. “Not enough to get sick on but enough to show me you’re trying. One more thing—strip.”