They didn’t start talking right away, so Dallas was content to watch the rise and fall of Remi’s chest as she breathed. It was like a miracle.
“Where’d you run off to?” Remi asked as she scratched Dallas’s back.
“Just wishing silly things.”
“I find that hard to believe. Since we’ve met you’ve never asked me for anything, so tell me what you’re hoping for and I’ll do my best to give it to you.”
“I want you, Remington,” Dallas whispered so softly she figured Remi hadn’t heard her.
“You have me.”
“No, I want—” Remi pressed two of her fingers against her lips.
“You have me, Dallas, and not just here.” She fanned her arm around the bed. Remi sat up a bit to lean against the carved headboard of the bed, taking Dallas with her. She settled Dallas across her legs.
“I want you to understand something. I’ve never allowed anyone but my family and close friends to know me this well. No woman has ever come close to owning my heart, but you’re the difference I’ve been waiting for, and I want nothing more than to stand up for you.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You can’t force someone to do that, just like you can’t force someone to love you. You’re more than my bed-warmer. If you decide to stay with me, I’ll keep you safe and give you room to grow into the incredible woman I know you can be, and that doesn’t apply only to your career. I’ll hold you up so you can achieve your dreams and be there to catch you when you fail. I want nothing from you in return.”
“Is that all you want?” Dallas asked. She’d moved so she could see Remi’s face as she spoke.
“You’re free now, Dallas, maybe for the first time in your life. No one’s waiting in the wings to make you do something you don’t choose. If you want to explore that freedom, don’t feel you’re bound to me.”
Dallas moved so she straddled Remi’s legs and was close enough to see those unique eyes. She placed her hands on Remi’s cheeks and spoke from her heart. “If I am truly free, then nothing’s stopping me from loving you. Nothing’s stopping me from wanting to be the last woman in your life.”
“I love you,” Remi said softly but with meaning.
Dallas leaned her forehead against Remi’s. She didn’t want to say anything yet, so the echo of Remi’s declaration could resonate in her head until it sunk in.
She moved back enough to kiss Remi. “I love you and for once I’m feeling selfish. I don’t want to share you with anyone. I want to be free to take care of you and to expect certain things from you. I want you, Remi, but I won’t settle for anything but your all. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”
“That’s what you have,” Remi said as she moved to kiss Dallas’s palms.
“No more models?”
“No more women of any kind.”
The kiss that followed erased any reservations Dallas had. “Can I ask you one more thing? If you can’t answer, then don’t.”
“Just ask.”
“Remember, if you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to.”
“If you don’t ask me I’ll have a hard time answering.”
“Did you kill Bob?” Dallas’s good sense was telling her she shouldn’t ask the question, but she had to know.
“No, I didn’t, but I won’t lie and tell you I made it easy for him to survive. It’s a wait-and-see situation,” Remi answered truthfully.
“What do you mean?”
“I hurt him pretty badly. Let’s just say I broke him of his smug attitude, and then I dropped him somewhere. It’s up to him, with some divine intervention, to swim back without something eating him. Maybe that’s not what you wanted, but when he talked about you and showed no remorse, I snapped.”
“Can I confess a deep, dark secret and not have you think any less of me?”
“Nothing you tell me will change how I feel about you.”
“From the time Bob came into my life I’ve had a list of ways I’d like to see him die. The day you and I met I was well into five thousand, and all mine included lots of suffering.”
“That should be incentive for me to behave.”
“I’m sorry if I put you in a position you didn’t want to be in.”
“Bob is one of those people you’d like to kill more than once.” Remi ran her fingers along Dallas’s hips, obviously being careful because of the pain. “I’m glad I was the one who helped you get this idiot out of your life.”
Remi’s words made Dallas cry. “I know why you love those adventure books. You’re like a knight defending my honor—not that I have much left, if any at all.” Dallas wiped away her angry tears.
“Listen to me. Everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes it’s because of circumstance, not free will. You had a sister to care for, and you could’ve taken the easy way out, but you didn’t.”
“It’s good to know that if you keep praying, eventually someone hears you. I’m not sure what I finally did right to be this well rewarded, and at this point I don’t care. You’re here and you’re mine.” Dallas kissed Remi and massaged the skin behind her neck. “If we went slowly, do you think we could make love?”
Before Dallas could change her mind and take the question back, Remi put her right hand between her legs, keeping the other one on Dallas’s hip. She went slow, using tender, soft touches that made Dallas let her head fall back and close her eyes. Perhaps the world didn’t associate tenderness with Remi, but Dallas knew no other kind of touch from her.
Remi’s touch branded her heart with a totally new sense of love and permanence. As long as Dallas lived, Remi would be the only one to move her to such heights. Salvation sometimes had nothing to do with churches and religious faith, but rather someone willing to find what was left in you worth saving.
Any other thought had to wait as Dallas gave in to her orgasm. Tomorrow she’d tell Remi the rest of her secrets. For years she wouldn’t have readily shared them with anyone except Kristen, but her days of hiding were over. In Remi she’d found someone not only to love, but to help carry the weight of her past.
“When I took Kristen and ran, most nights before I went to sleep, I prayed to my mom to send me something to make things better,” Dallas said as soon as she caught her breath. “Maybe it wouldn’t have taken so long if I’d prayed for a someone instead. I love you.”
“I love you too.” Remi scooted down and kissed the top of Dallas’s head when she reclaimed her spot on her shoulder. “It’s a good thing you’re no stranger to prayer,” Remi said in a teasing voice. “Once you’ve met my mother, she’ll tell you that to love us is to learn to pray for patience.”
“I can’t wait to meet your mother, but right now I’d like to talk about something else.” Dallas touched her and smiled when she found the abundant wetness. “Let’s start right here.” She moved down so she could use her mouth and be mindful of Remi’s injuries. Dallas knew they should’ve waited, but for her this was more than just making love. It was a celebration of life and living it in the warmth of the sun out of the shadows.
*
“Is it time?” Kim Stegal asked Nunzio. They were back in New Orleans to attend Remi’s funeral.
“Not until Remi’s in the ground. I’m not completely heartless. Let Ramon and his family have their time to mourn, then we’ll move to close the deal.”
“Your father called again last night while you were on the casino floor.”
Nunzio put his menu down and his fists on the table. “Why’d he call you?”
The waiter arrived with the orange juice they’d ordered, and Kim took a sip before answering. “You’re either going to trust me or I’m walking. I’ve been with you too long for you to put me through this shit every time I talk to your father.”