Emma took a deep breath and stared up at the sign over the door. “The Erin Go Braugh.” Her inflection of the name never came close to the way it rolled off Cain’s tongue. She felt like a thousand years had gone by since the first time she had stood on the sidewalk trying to work up the nerve to walk in and ask for a job. How different would her life have turned out if she had just turned around and walked away? The question was one she often asked herself, but she never bothered to find an answer because she had walked in and forever tethered her life to Cain’s. No amount of running away was ever going to change that. And now she was back to face the one person who scared her almost as much as she’d loved her.
Merrick opened the door for Emma and scrutinized her before pointing to a table that overlooked a small courtyard at the back of the pub, where Cain sat nursing a beer. Emma hadn’t changed much, thought Merrick; even the smile she graced her with as she passed was the same. A simple blue dress had replaced the designer clothes Emma was partial to when Cain’s money was paving the way, but she carried it off well. The sophistication and style Cain had taught her transcended the clothes.
“Cain?” Emma spoke softly and stood a few feet from the table. The years hadn’t changed Cain much either, and Emma’s heart sped up as soon as she saw her. “It’s good to see you.”
“Don’t.” Cain didn’t turn around, but the tone of her voice was unmistakable. There would be no forgiveness coming from her today.
“I’m sorry. May I sit down?”
“It’s your twenty minutes, Emma. You can do whatever the hell you want.”
She stepped closer and sat down, shaking her head when Josh held up a beer glass in her direction. “Thank you for seeing me. I thought after all this time you’d be willing to let some of the anger go. Can you try for just a little while not to hate me?”
“I don’t think about you enough to hate you, so get off your soapbox. It isn’t going to gain you any sympathy. What do you want?” Cain watched a blue jay out on the patio fly away with a forgotten straw and pretended Emma being there wasn’t affecting her. Next to her sat the woman who had managed to do what none of her enemies had accomplished. She had cut deep and left a wound that still festered.
“Still not big on small talk, huh?”
“You walk out on our family four years ago, we don’t hear from you in all that time, and you expect me to talk to you about the weather when you do decide to show up? Even you can’t be that naïve, Emma. I’ll ask again. What do you want?” Cain finally turned and skewered the woman she had loved with the intensity reserved for her adversaries.
“I want to see my son.”
“Your son? That’s rich. What makes you believe he wants to see you? He’s not the same little boy you left behind without another thought when you went to look for whatever you found in farm country.”
“I’d like to talk to him.” Emma studied the strong profile when Cain’s head turned back in the direction of the courtyard. To have gotten this far without Cain calling the dogs on her was a minor victory. The pit bulls Cain surrounded herself with were always on a short leash and ready to attack.
“Let me ask him and I’ll let you know. Hayden’s old enough to make his own decisions.” Cain heard the surprised breath Emma took and laughed. “Don’t get me wrong or act so surprised that I’m giving in so soon. I’m not stupid. I knew you’d come back one day and I figured that, if he was old enough, I’d let Hayden decide on what kind of relationship he wants with you. That is, if he wants to have any relationship with you.” Cain leaned forward to deliver the rest of the threat, not caring who was listening. “Just remember you don’t get to walk away for free this time, Emma. You hurt my son, or make me spend one more night holding him when he wakes up crying because you left without so much as a ‘kiss my ass,’ and I’ll bury you. I’ll bury you so deep, God Almighty won’t be able to find you, and you know I can do it.”
Emma never got to respond, and she never glimpsed the blue eyes that still haunted her thoughts, because Cain just got up and walked out, trailed by the two constant deadly shadows.
“Yes, Cain, I know you can do lots of things,” whispered Emma to the forgotten glass of beer on the table.
She hadn’t really thought much about how their meeting would go, so she was a bit dumbfounded at her good fortune. Now if she could only control the itch in her hands from wanting to reach out and touch Cain. Her ex-lover even smelled of the same fresh citrusy cologne she remembered.
The short visit convinced Emma that no amount of time would ever erase Cain from her mind, or her body. She’d been branded by the tall, dangerous woman, and that was the way it would stay.
Chapter Four
Hayden was waiting for Cain in the den where they often watched television together. “Why now?” he asked, hoping to find the right answer in the blue eyes that always reminded him he belonged to her. They seemed guarded for once, and Cain had been a little on edge since she’d gotten home.
“I don’t have an answer for that, kiddo. She’s here, and she wants to see you. Emma’s your mother, but it’s up to you if you want to see her or not. I don’t want you in therapy in your thirties blaming me for keeping the two of you apart,” Cain joked as she sat down. She brushed his dark hair back from his forehead, then placed her palm on his cheek. The big room in the back corner of the house was full of comfortable chairs and had a great view of the yard. “This is your call, son, and I’ll abide by whatever you say.”
Though big for his age, he squeezed in next to her, needing to be close. Emma was someone he chose to think of seldom, and knowing that she was back in town was making him nauseous. It wasn’t something he wanted to admit, but the anxiety he had gone through when she had so abruptly walked out of his life had devastated him.
Till that moment he had fought through the despair of losing Emma by pushing himself mentally and physically. He had rationalized that if he could come close to perfection, Cain would never abandon him. He had come to trust Cain wasn’t going anywhere, and with that assurance the need to excel beyond everyone’s expectations had started to ease. Having Emma come back as suddenly as she’d left threatened to disrupt his world all over again.
“Hayden? Did you hear what I said?”
“I heard you, sorry. She gave birth to me, but you’re my mother and father all rolled into one. Mook explained it to me once when I asked, and I think he’s right. With you, I don’t really need anyone else.”
“Thanks, and no matter what, you know I won’t ever leave you, right?”
“I know that, Mom, and I love you for it.” Cain had taught him that when he felt uncertain, he should always fall back on something he would never question. Since he never questioned Cain’s love and faith for him, she was his best ally in case he needed to lean on her strength. “Will you come with me if I go?”
Cain kissed the top of his head and smiled. “I love you too, son, and if you want me to go, I’ll be there.”
“You always tell me to confront my fears and leave them behind. I’m not afraid of her, but let’s see what she wants and move on, okay?”
Hayden stood next to her when Cain phoned her uncle to set up a dinner meet that night on neutral ground. Hayden hadn’t wanted Emma in their house, not ready to see her in such a familiar environment. The memories he had of Emma centered on their house, but this was also the place she had left. He even picked a restaurant he and Cain hadn’t eaten at before so neither of them would have bad memories when Emma went home.
In a way he was curious why she had come back to see him. Maybe now he could ask why she had left, why she never cared enough to call him, and what he’d done wrong to make her stop loving him. Four years was a long time, though, and his curiosity only went so far.