“I do, huh? How do you figure I owe you?”
“The way I see it is, if anyone else had been my father, I’d be swinging a golf club instead of dodging cow patties. Get me, Dad?”
His laugh made Cain feel a little better. “I get you, son, but if anyone else had been your dad, all you’d know is cow-patty dodging. See how life works?” When Cain heard him sigh from the other end, she turned off the treadmill she’d been running on.
“You never have told me why she left.”
“You’re right. I haven’t, even though you used to ask me all the time.”
Hayden turned from the window and sat on a flowered print chair near the phone. “You don’t think I can handle the truth? I didn’t stop asking because I lost interest in the answer, you know.”
“I know, Hayden. I just wanted you to form your own opinions about your mother. You may not want to hear it now, but you’ve got to have some kind of relationship with her. What that’s going to be is up to you—not me and not her, just you. Accepting the things in life we can’t change or can’t take back will make you a man. Trust me on this one, buddy.”
“Will you get mad if I ask her?” He picked at the tag on his hiking boots as he asked, and wondered for the millionth time what the answer to his question might be. This was his opportunity to ask Emma all the questions that had accumulated in his head since she’d left. But not at the risk of upsetting Cain.
“No, honey, that won’t make me mad. I love you, and that means you’ll never have to worry about disappointing me no matter what choices you make.”
“Thanks, Dad,” he joked.
“Anytime, son. Hang in there, and I’ll be there soon to keep you company. Did they pitch a tent out with the cows for me?”
“You get the bunkhouse, but don’t hold your breath on a warm welcome from Grandma Carol.” He laughed at the thought of his grandmother, suspecting her hostility came from his large dose of Casey genes. “She’s even quieter than you are, and I don’t think it’s because she’s thinking deep thoughts, you know?”
“We’ve met, so don’t worry. Go get some sleep. You want to be well rested for all the milking you’ll have to do in the morning.”
“You’re so funny. Tell Merrick hi for me. Bye, I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”
“Love you too.” Cain took the phone headset off and toweled her face. She battled the urge not to jump on the next plane to make Hayden feel better.
“You can’t fight all his wars for him, baby.” Merrick put the weights she’d been curling back on the stand and faced her employer. “We can be there by tomorrow night. Any sooner and it’ll look like you’re hovering.”
“I’m his mother, I’m supposed to hover.”
“Boss, you knew this day would come. The girl wasn’t going to disappear forever unless you gave her a little push in that direction, if you know what I mean.”
“Unless you have a death wish yourself, don’t ever say that again. Emma’s a bitch, I’ll concede that point, but she’s Hayden’s mother, and I’d never do anything to harm her.”
“I know that, baby. Emma just never gave you credit for your sense of honor. He asked again, didn’t he?”
Cain let out a sigh of her own. Those things she’d told Hayden up to then had left her with her own demons, which would probably be with her forever. Emma had urged her to make choices with her heart, and she had capitulated, even though those choices went against her instinct.
Her father had harped on that subject more than anything when she was learning the business. He knew from his own experiences how easy it was to give in to the caring side of your nature, but therein laid the trap. Your heart kept your enemies around to fight another day, and when they did, most times they picked the easiest targets. The targets that inflicted the most pain to those left behind.
Up to now she hadn’t lied to Hayden but had tried to shield him from the whole truth. She had done it to give Hayden the opportunity to have a relationship with Emma. It was a gamble, but once again she had turned away from her gut and gone with her heart. With Emma back in their lives, though, her decisions could return to haunt her. It would be Cain’s main concern to keep Hayden whole if they did.
Remembering Merrick’s question, she finally answered, “Yeah, he asked, and I don’t have an answer for him. Not one I can live with, anyway. If Emma knows what’s good for her, she’ll clam up on the subject. If she wants any type of relationship with Hayden, honesty on her part won’t be the mortar that’ll pave that brick road for her.”
“It’s not your fault, Cain.”
“The hell it isn’t, Merrick. Marie would be alive if I’d thought with my head instead of my heart. You knew my father. He’d have never made that mistake. And for what? I turned a blind eye to what happened, and Emma left anyway.”
Knowing better than to argue, Merrick held her hand out so Cain would come closer. “Come on, let’s get you packed and ready to go. It’s colder than hell up there, so we have to find your long johns.”
Chapter Six
The panic set in when Emma went to check on Hayden the next morning and found his and Mook’s beds both empty. That he’d gotten disgusted with his visit and left crossed her mind, and it brought on a fresh batch of tears. Her eyes were still a little swollen already after eavesdropping on his telephone conversation with Cain the night before.
“What’s the matter?” Hayden appeared in the doorway and appeared confused as to why Emma was in his room crying.
“Nothing. Just thinking about something. Would you like some breakfast?” The sweaty clothes and red cheeks could only mean Hayden was a morning runner, like Cain.
“Just cereal is fine, if you have it.”
“It’s no trouble, really. Let me make you something.”
Hayden stripped off his sweaty shirt and folded it neatly before he put it in what looked like a laundry bag.
“Did you have a nice run?”
He nodded and grabbed another set of clothes to take into the bathroom with him.
“Let me grab a shower first. I’m not that picky, so don’t knock yourself out.”
Emma looked at his bag full of folded clothes and the order of the room. Both Hayden and Mook had made their beds before they’d gone out, and nothing was out of place. Hayden was neat, polite, intelligent, and thoughtful—all the attributes she would not have put together with someone so young. The illusions she had spun with her upstanding Christian mother’s help were fiction. She could see now leaving him with Cain hadn’t been a mistake. Her son had become the person he was at Cain’s knee, not at the end of her fist.
“God forgive me for what I’ve done.” She got off the bed and left the room without another word. Her mother’s disgusted look as she passed her in the hall didn’t brighten her mood as Emma headed to the kitchen.
Carol had been standing in the hall like a sentinel on guard to make sure their guests didn’t run off with her silver. “This isn’t a café, Emma. The boy has got to learn we aren’t here to cater to his every whim.”
Carol had watched Hayden run off with Mook and felt her anger start to simmer. Seeing Hayden was like looking at a mirror image of the woman Emma had introduced to her and Ross on the day of her graduation from Tulane.
Thirteen Years Earlier at the Tulane Campus in New Orleans
“Hi, baby. Your mom and I are so proud of you.” Ross hugged Emma and held her for a long moment before he let her go. He had already taken two rolls of pictures on the old Kodak camera he’d lugged with him from Wisconsin so he could remember the day his little girl walked across the stage in her cap and gown.
“Thank you both for coming, Daddy.” Emma squeezed her father one more time before she turned to face her mother.
Carol studied her daughter for a long while before she said anything. Something was different about Emma, and she couldn’t quite place what it was. “I don’t know what you think you’re going to need all this education for when you come home and settle down. All this was a big waste of time and money, if you ask me.”