She just came in to tell me that she already feels a child stirring within her from last night’s mockery of lovemaking. “It will be a boy,” she said, a sickly hope on her face. “What shall we name him?”
“We shall call him Killian,” I answered. It means strife.
— Neimhidh
I was grateful no one else was in the apartment when I got back. I was still trying to pull myself together after Robbie’s accusations. After the shock had come anger. How could he have thought I’d hurt that old woman? How could he accuse me of such awful things? I’d assumed Robbie was strong enough not to be freaked by things he didn’t understand. Instead, he’d gotten totally hysterical. He hadn’t even listened when I’d tried to explain.
Yet I couldn’t help feeling a twinge—more than a twinge—of guilt. There’d been some truth in what Robbie had said. Plus I’d broken my promise to Hunter to keep a low profile.
I drew out the watch that Ciaran had given to Maeve. The gold case gleamed softly in the light coming through the living room windows. I pulled out the ruby-tipped winding stem and wound it to the right, deasil, feeling the resistance of the spring inside. Would it work after all these years? Yes, there was a soft, even ticking.
Had it been worth my trouble? I wondered, thinking about the argument with Robbie. Yes. I could no more have left the watch in that awful apartment than I could have left Maeve’s Book of Shadows in Selene’s house.
Sitting cross-legged on Bree’s father’s couch, I tried to find a way through the murk. I wasn’t going to lose Robbie, I told myself. Especially now that I’d sort of lost Bree. We both needed to calm down, and we probably both needed to apologize. And Robbie needed to realize that I was still the same Morgan he knew and trusted.
But you’re not, a voice inside me said. You’re a blood witch, and no one but another blood witch will ever understand.
Again I thought about why I’d wanted the watch so badly. Was it simply because it had been loved by Maeve? Or was I fascinated by the fact that it had been given to her by Ciaran, her mùirn beatha dàn, the man who eventually became her murderer? I felt my jaw tensing with anger as I thought of him, and I had to will myself to relax.
Then my senses tingled. Hunter was approaching. I took a few deep breaths to calm my conflicted heart. I wasn’t ready to discuss this with Hunter, both because I was certain he’d side with Robbie and because I knew he wouldn’t approve of my having anything connected to Ciaran.
I tucked the watch away in my pocket and went to the door.
“Hey,” I said as he came in. “How was the rest of your day?”
Hunter pulled me to him. “Spectacularly lousy. How was yours?”
“So-so. You didn’t find that building?”
“Not yet, no. I’m going to keep looking. I just wanted to stop in and tell you I wouldn’t be here for tonight’s circle.” Hunter arched one blond eyebrow. “Anyone else here?”
“Nope. Just you and me.”
“Thank the Goddess for that,” he said. He held me tight, and I felt that familiar shift as our energies aligned in perfect synchronicity. “Mmm,” I said. “This is nice. I think I’ve had enough of the group experience.”
Hunter laughed. “You didn’t expect we’d get on each other’s nerves living in such close quarters? Try growing up in a coven where everyone’s been able to read your emotions from the day you were born. There’s a reason New York is teeming with witches run away from home.”
He took off his jacket, and we went into the kitchen. I got myself a Diet Coke from the fridge.
Hunter wrinkled his nose. “How can you drink that vile stuff?”
“It’s delicious. And nutritious.”
“You would think so,” he said darkly. He sighed. “I’m up against a brick wall, Morgan. Killian was here, and now he’s gone. I’ve been—what do they say? Not beating the bushes.”
“Pounding the pavement?” I suggested helpfully.
“Whatever. Not a trace of him anywhere. It’s almost as if he never existed.” Hunter ran himself a glass of water from the tap. “I didn’t imagine him, did I?”
“If you did, then we shared the same arrogant hallucination.”
A corner of Hunter’s mouth lifted. “You didn’t find him—attractive?”
“No,” I said, realizing with some surprise that I was being totally honest, not trying to save Hunter’s feelings. “I liked him. I thought he was fun. But he also seemed kind of stuck on himself.”
“Personally, I think he’s a pain, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t worth saving.”
“That’s big of you,” I teased, but the worried look in Hunter’s eyes scared me. “You think Amyranth has him already, don’t you?”
He didn’t reply, but his lips thinned.
“Look, why don’t we just put off the circle for a night?” I suggested. “We could all help you search for him.”
Hunter’s answer was swift and firm. “No. Especially now that we know Ciaran’s involved. I don’t want you anywhere near this.”
“Do you think he already knows about me? I mean, that Maeve and Angus had a daughter.”
Hunter looked absolutely miserable. “God, I hope not.”
I took some deep breaths and tried to fight off the feeling of dread.
I felt Hunter’s hand close around my wrist. “I’m going to leave soon. But first…come with me. Let’s just…be with each other for a little while.”
I nodded. We went into the guest bedroom and lay down on my narrow mattress. I let Hunter hold me loosely in his arms. I wanted to clasp him to me, to stave off all the desperation and fear charging through me. I wanted never to let him go.
“We can’t hold on to each other forever, you know,” he said, echoing my thoughts.
“Why not?” I asked. “Why can’t we just stay here and keep each other safe?”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “For one thing, I’m a Seeker. For another, none of us can guarantee another’s safety, much as we’d love to.” He kissed me again, this time on the mouth. I could feel his heart beating against mine. Someday, I thought, when all this is over, we’ll be able to be like this all the time. Warm, close together.
Someday.
By the time I’d changed, set out candles and salt, and purified the living room with the smoke of cedar and sage, Hunter was gone and everyone else had returned to the apartment.
Though Bree and Robbie seemed to be keeping their distance, Sky and Raven had come in together. Packages were put away. Plans for later that evening were discussed. When everyone had finally settled in, we gathered in the living room for our circle. It felt odd to be there without Jenna, Matt, Ethan, Sharon, and the other members of Kithic. I wondered briefly what they were doing back in Widow’s Vale.
Since Sky was the only initiated witch among us, she would lead the circle. But first, at Hunter’s request, I filled everyone in on the Killian situation.
“Let’s work a spell to lift obstacles and send power to Hunter,” Sky suggested.
We pushed the few pieces of furniture against the walls and rolled up the rug. Sky traced a wide circle with chalk on the wood floor. On each of the four compass points she placed one of the four elements: a small dish of water for water, a stick of incense for air, a crystal for earth, and a candle for fire. One by one, we entered the circle. Sky closed it behind us.
“We come together to honor the Goddess and the God,” she began. “We ask their help and guidance. May our magick be pure and strong, and may we use it to help those in need.”
We joined hands, each of us focusing on our breathing. Bree stood on one side of me, Robbie on the other. I opened my senses. I could feel the familiar presences of the others, feel their heartbeats. They were all precious to me, I realized. Even Raven. The circle bound us as allies in the fight against darkness.