“Why … ? How … ?”
“You’ve told me yourself and in any case it’s rather obvious, isn’t it?”
“I’m not so bad really. Only I don’t like to be told what to do.”
“That’s not very unusual, you know. You’re just going along with the common herd. But there are people who want to learn and they do. They are the people who have rewarding lives.”
She stared at me with a puzzled look.
I said: “I have seen the schoolroom. Now I will go back to your mother.”
“You’re going to tell her how awful I am and that you don’t like me and you won’t come here.”
“Is that what you want me to telljier?” She did not answer, which mildly surprised and pleased me. I went on: “Do you often tell people what they are going to do?”
“Well, of course you’re not coming. You’re not poor like Miss Evans. You don’t have to. Nobody would come here unless they had to.”
“If you would like to take me to your mother, I should be pleased. If not, I dare say I can find my own way.”
We surveyed each other like two generals on a battlefield. I could see that in spite of herself she was mildly interested in me. I had not behaved like the ordinary governesses; and she had certainly not acted like a prospective pupil. But I sensed that she had-as I admitted to myself that I had-enjoyed our little bout of sparring. I thought her a spoilt child, but there was another reasonas there usually is-why she behaved as she did. I could not grasp what her attitude towards her mother was, but I felt a growing curiosity and I wanted to find out.
Oddly enough, this difficult child, who had driven governesses away in despair, attracted me in an odd way. I wanted to know more of her. I knew I was coming to the house in any case, but, having met Lady Perrivale and her daughter, I was finding myself intrigued by their personalities.
Kate pushed past me and started to go downstairs: “This is the way,” she said.
I followed her back to the room where we had left Lady Perrivale. She looked up anxiously as though she were ready to accept defeat.
I said: “Kate has shown me the schoolroom. It is very light and airy and in such a pleasant spot… at the top of the house.”
I paused, savouring my power with a certain complacency, then I went on: “I have decided that, providing we can agree on the usual details, I should like to come on trial … on both sides … for say a month and if at the end of that time we feel the arrangement is satisfactory we can plan from there.”
Her smile was dazzling. She had made up her mind that a short time with Kate would have decided me. She was ready to promise anything and the salary she offered I was sure was beyond what was normally paid to a governess.
“When … ?” she asked eagerly.
“What about Monday … the start of the week? You see, I have not far to come.”
“That would be admirable.”
Kate was looking at me in astonishment. I said coolly:
“If the carriage could take me back to Trecorn Manor …”
“But of course,” said Lady Perrivale.
“We shall look forward to seeing you on Monday.”
I felt triumphant as I was driven back. I was going to succeed, I knew. I was going to find Cosmo’s murderer. And then I should have to find Simon. How, I did not know. But I’d think of that when the time came.
I kept thinking how lucky it was that I had confided in Nanny Crockett, for that had certainly taken me along a few steps further. I was certain that I was on the only possible road to discovery.
Nanny Crockett was waiting for me and she could hardly restrain her impatience. I did not keep her long in suspense.
“I’m starting on Monday,” I said.
She flew at me and hugged me.
“I knew you would. I knew it.”
“Lady Perrivale was determined. No applicant for a post can ever have had such an extraordinary interview. You would have thought she was the one who wanted the job.”
“Well, Mrs. Ford told me how it would be.” She looked at me anxiously.
“Did you see … the girl?”
I nodded.
“She’s a challenge,” I said.
“And if it is possible to find the truth I have to.”
“For Simon’s sake. Poor lamb … out there in the wilds somewhere.
If only he could come home to us. “
“We’re going to succeed. Nanny. We are on the way.”
Now that I had come so far, I had to face the difficulties.
I should have to tell my father that I was taking a post as governess.
That would bewilder him. And I did not forget Aunt Maud. I was sure she would be most disapproving because becoming a governess would not enhance my chances of what she would call a good marriage. But by the time they heard, I should be installed in Perrivale Court.
I should have to write to Felicity. I wondered what her reaction would be. If she knew the truth behind it, of course, she would understand, for she did realize how restless I was. She herself had been a governess, but I had been a very different child from Kate, and Felicity and I had had good times together from the beginning.
I was unprepared for Lucas’s reaction.
I did not see him until dinner that evening. It had become a dismal meal since Theresa’s death. We were all conscious of the place where she used to sit at one end of the table opposite Carleton. Now that place was empty and every now and then one of us would gaze furtively towards it. Conversation was laborious and there would be certain gaps when Lucas and I sought for something to say. In the past we had lingered over meals; now they were occasions which everyone wished to be over as soon as possible.
Lucas said: “I haven’t seen you all day. I looked for you this afternoon.”
“No,” I said.
“I went to Perrivale Court.”
“Perrivale Court!” he echoed disbelievingly.
“Yes … as a matter of fact I’m going to work there.”
“What?”
“As a governess. Lady Perrivale has a daughter … Kate. I am going to act as her governess.”
“Whatever for?”
“Well, it’s something to do and …”
“It’s a ridiculous idea!” He looked at Carleton, who was staring gloomily at his plate.
“Did you hear that?” he said.
“Rosetta plans to go to Perrivale Court as governess to the girl there.”
“Yes, I heard,” said Carleton.
“Well, don’t you think it’s crazy?”
Carleton coughed slightly.
I said: “I shall be starting on Monday. I have to do something, and I thought this would be a start.”
Lucas was speechless.
Carleton said: “It was good of you to stay with us so long. The children are so fond of you. We knew of course that you would only be here temporarily until they had recovered a little from …”
Then we all fell into silence.
As soon as dinner was over, Lucas hustled me into the drawing-room.
“I’d like to talk,” he said.
“Yes?”
“It’s about this nonsense …”
“It’s not nonsense. It’s perfectly reasonable. I want to do something.”
“There are lots of things you could do. If you’re so eager to look after children, what’s wrong with the two here?”
“It’s not the same, Lucas.”
“What do you mean not the same? Do you realize what you are letting yourself in for?”
“If I find it intolerable I shall just leave.”
“That place! There’s something about it. You there! I just can’t imagine it.”
“Lots of young women take posts as governesses.”
“You’re not qualified.”
“How many of them are? I have had a fair education. I could teach some things.”
“It’s absurd. Tell me, Rosetta, why are you doing this? There must be a reason.”