“So you have made his acquaintance?”
“Only briefly, but it was he who suggested the mount for me. And I may be invited to join the occasional dinner party.”
“A perquisite for a good governess … when it is a not very important occasion and someone is wanted to make up the numbers?”
“I think there might be one important occasion. They are thinking of asking you and Carleton. They have put it off because of Theresa’s death.”
I saw the interest in his eyes.
“So you and I will be fellow guests?”
“You will come when they ask, won’t you, Lucas?”
“I most certainly shall.”
“Is Carleton any better?”
He lifted his shoulders.
“I don’t think he’ll ever get over it. We’re a faithful lot, we Lorimers.”
“Poor Carleton. I grieve for him.”
“I feel guilty. I used to envy him, even saying, to myself:,. Why should everything go right for him? Why should this happen to me while he sails happily through? And now he is in a worse condition than I. I’ve got a useless leg and he has lost the one who was more important to him than anyone else. I wish I could do something for him, but I don’t know what.”
“Perhaps he’ll marry again.”
“It would be the best thing for him. He needs a wife. He’s lost without Theresa. But of course that would be in the future … far in the future. Trecorn is not a very happy household at the moment. If you came back it would relieve the gloom.”
I said: “The children … they are happy?”
“They are too young to grieve for long. I think they still ask for their mother and cry for her … and then they forget. Good old Nanny Crockett is wonderful with them, but I don’t forgive her for bringing all this about. Whatever possessed her to set it in motion?”
He was looking at me closely and I felt myself flushing.
“There must be a reason,” he went on.
I was telling myself: Explain, you owe it to him.
But I could not. It was not my secret to divulge.
After a while he said: “I think I understand. We shall never be as we were before, shall we? Sometimes I look back to the first time we met.
How different we were then . both of us. Can you remember me as I was? “
“Yes, perfectly.”
“And was I very different?”
“Yes,” I said.
“You were different, too. You were at school … very young… eager… innocent. And then on the ship together … how we used to sit on the deck and talk. Remember Madeira ? We were so unaware of the monstrous thing that was about to happen to us.”
As he was talking I was living it all again.
He said: “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reminded you. If we had any sense we’d do our best to forget.”
“We can’t forget, Lucas. We can’t ever forget.”
“We could … if we made up our minds. We could start
a new life together. Do you remember when we talked of our initials? I said it was significant that Life had brought us together, little knowing then what we were to endure. How close we have become since then. I said my initials spelt HELL . Hadrian Edward Lucas Lorimer, and as RC you could bring me back to the path of righteousness. Do you remember? “
“Yes, I do, very well.”
“Well, it’s true. You could save me. You see, it has come to pass. I was speaking prophetically. You and I … we could face everything together… we could make life better than it was before …”
“Oh, Lucas … I wish …”
“We could go right away from here. Anywhere we fancied …”
“You couldn’t leave Trecorn, Lucas. Carleton needs you there.”
“Well, would it matter where we were? We could help him together.”
“Oh, Lucas … I am so sorry. I truly wish …”
He smiled at me ruefully.
“I understand,” he said.
“Well, let’s make the best of what is. Whatever happens, what we went through together will always make us special friends. I often think of that man Player.
I wonder what happened to him. I should like to know, wouldn’t you?”
I nodded, afraid to speak.
He went on: “I understand why you did this, Rosetta. It’s because you want to move away from all that went before. You’re right in a way. So you have gone to that place. It’s entirely new … new surroundings, new work … a challenge. Particularly the girl. You have changed, Rosetta. I have to say I think she is helping you.”
“Yes, I am sure she is.”
“It’s brave of you to have done this. I think I’m something of a coward.”
“Oh no, no. You suffered more than I did. And you brought about your own freedom.”
“Only because I was a useless hulk.”
“You’re not useless. I love you very much. I admire you, and I am so grateful because you are my friend.”
He took my hand and held it firmly.
“Will you always remember that?”
“Always,” I said.
“I’m so glad to have seen you. I feel so safe … to know that you are nearby.”
“I shall always be there,” he said.
“And perhaps one day you will call me in. Now … let’s get out of this place. Come. Show me your Goldie. Let’s ride out to the sea and gallop along the beach. Let’s tell ourselves that our good angels are smiling on us and all our wishes will be granted. There is a nice sentimental speech for an old cynic, is it not?”
“Yes, and I like to hear it.”
“After all, who knows what will be waiting for us?”
“One can never tell.”
And we went out to the horses.
Mrs. Ford caught me as I was going to the schoolroom for the morning lessons.
“Nanny Crockett is coming over this afternoon,” she said.
“Jack Carter is taking a load to Turner’s Farm, so he’ll be bringing her over for a couple of hours. She’ll want to see you, so do come up to my room for a cup of tea.”
I said I should be delighted to do so.
As we were talking, there was a commotion in the hall. I heard the voice of the head gardener; he was saying something about roses.
Mrs. Ford raised her eyebrows.
“That man,” she said.
“You’d think the whole world depended on his flowers. He’s making such a noise down there. I’d better go and see what it’s all about.”
Out of curiosity, I followed her.
Several of the servants were in the hall. Littleton, the head gardener, was clearly very angry.
Mrs. Ford said in a commanding voice: “Now what is all this about?”
“You may well ask, Mrs. Ford,” said Littleton.
“Four of my best roses in their prime … someone has stolen them … right from under my nose.”
“Well, who’s done it?”
“That’s what I’d like to know. If I could get my hands on them.”
“Her ladyship may have fancied them.”
“Her ladyship never touches the flowers. I’ve looked after those roses. I’ve been waiting all this time to see them in bloom.
Beautiful, they was. A sort of pinky blue . a rare colour for a rose. Never seen anything like them before. They was special, they was . and I’ve been waiting all this time for the flowers. Took a bit of rearing they did . and then someone comes and picks them . without a by your leave. “
“Well, Mr. Littleton,” said Mrs. Ford, “I’m sorry, but I’ve not touched your roses … and, if you can find who has that’s up to you, but I can’t have you disturbing my servants. They’ve got work to do.”
Littleton turned his agonized face to Mrs. Ford.
“They were my special roses,” he said piteously.
I left them and went up to the schoolroom.
It was difficult to settle to lessons that morning. Kate wanted to hear about my meeting with Lucas on the previous day.