Satchel waited until he had finished, then asked in a coquettish tone, "Master, you've been so preoccupied with women that you've completely neglected the two of us. Why this sudden interest in reopening the old accounts?"
"This is not sex we're having tonight," said Vesperus. "This is a farewell."
"A farewell? Surely you couldn't bear to part with us?"
"Who said anything about selling you? Perhaps the word farewell needs some clarification: I'm not the one saying farewell, it's my penis that's saying farewell to your buttocks."
"But why?"
"Well, as you know, I'm due to have my penis restructured in a day or two. After the operation it will be dozens of times bigger than it is now. Even a woman whose vagina is a little on the tight side will no longer be able to receive me. So after tonight you and I won't be able to have sex again. If that's not a farewell, I don't know what is!"
"Perhaps yours is rather small, but why would you want to restructure it?"
Vesperus explained that women differed from boys in preferring the large to the small.
"So after surgery you intend to seduce girls? You'll have no use for us?"
"That's right."
"When you go off on your seductions, you'll need to have an escort. Take me along, and if there are any girls left over whom you don't have time for, give one to me so that I can see what sex with a woman is like. That way I'll not have wasted my time in the service of a great lover."
"That's easily arranged. A well-fed general doesn't starve his troops, you know. While their mistresses are sleeping with me, you shall have any maid you want. And not just one, but dozens, hundreds…"
Satchel was so delighted that he climbed on top of Vesperus and doused the flesh-colored candle.
Vesperus slept the rest of that night. The next morning he assembled the things he would need. He bought an extremely plump, sturdy dog; he found a bitch to match with it; and he kept them in separate quarters in his lodgings until the next day, when he told Satchel to fetch the dogs and accompany him. Sheath was to prepare the wine and bring it along later.
Since he dealt in such secret techniques, the adept had found himself a large, very private place surrounded by open land where there were no casual visitors. Once the gate was shut, it offered the ideal setting for the operation. To prepare for the surgery, he applied analgesic to Vesperus's penis. At the first application of the ointment, Vesperus felt as if his organ had been plunged into cold water and then as if he had no organ at all, for he felt no sensation when it was pinched and scratched. Some of his tension left him at that point, as it dawned on him that he would feel no pain during surgery.
Before long the wine arrived, and Vesperus and the adept drank as they waited for the dog and bitch to couple.
These two hot-blooded creatures were apparently under the impression that their new master wanted to do them a special favor and had purposely brought them to some out-of-the-way place where they could couple freely, without interruption from other males dashing up to pick fights or other females acting jealous. And so, not daring to betray their master's generosity, they spliced themselves together as soon as they were in each other's company. Little did they realize, however, that theirs was an impecunious master who meant to appropriate their very endowment.
The dogs had been brought to the operating room with ropes around their necks, and the ropes had not been removed. Now that the dogs were enthusiastically coupling, all that Satchel and Sheath had to do was give a strong tug on the ropes for them to be pulled half apart like a severed lotus root with its fibers still entwined. The male could not bear to be parted and began to bark furiously, while his hind legs tried to grip the female's vulva and prevent it from slipping away. To his surprise, he could not hold on, and both vulva and penis were removed together. The female could not bear the thought of separation any more than the male, and she barked furiously, too, her hind legs holding his penis to prevent it from slipping out. To her surprise, the penis could not be held either, but was removed along with her vulva.
After cutting out the dog's penis, the adept quickly made the incisions in Vesperus's penis and, having sliced the dog's into strips, packed one strip, still hot, into each incision. He then applied a miracle drug and bandaged it up. Once the operation was over, he and Vesperus resumed their drinking.
Vesperus asked the adept if he might stay the night. The two men shared the same bed, and in the course of the night the adept passed along much tactical information. Next day Vesperus returned home to begin his convalescence.
During the next three months, thanks to his self-control, he never once looked at a woman or entertained a lascivious thought. He neither peeked at his restructured penis nor felt it with his hand, but acted as if it was still the same. Only when the critical period was over did he take off the bandages, clean it out, and examine it closely, at which point he let out a whoop of laughter. "It's simply magnificent! It really is different! With an amazing thing like this, I'll be able to run wild!"
After another day or two, just as he was thinking of going to look for the Knave and urging him to make good on his promise, the latter happened to come by.
"Worthy brother," said the Knave, "you haven't been out in ages, just stayed quietly at home. You must have made a lot of progress in your examination studies."
"None at all, although I have made a little progress in my study of bedroom techniques."
The Knave smiled. "If you're not born with the right capacity, the progress will always be limited, I'm afraid. I would urge you not to spend your time on that subject."
"Just what are you suggesting, brother? When you meet a gentleman again after three days, you should look at him with a fresh eye, you know. An even fresher eye in my case, for you've not seen me in three months! Do I still have to put up with your insults, even if I've made some progress?"
"If you've made any progress, it will be merely cosmetic and won't affect the real issue. You're like a man in combat training; if he has an exceptional physique and strength, he'll naturally be in great demand. But if he's less than three feet tall and can't lift ten pounds, even if he practices constantly and masters all eighteen techniques, he'll have to confine his fighting to the puppet theatre. He can hardly take part in real combat!"
"Brother, you're going farther and farther astray! Have you never seen a boy three feet tall develop into a husky man? Have you never heard that before an army races with the speed of a hare, it's as demure as a maiden? [53] Only dead men's penises can shrink but not grow. What living man's thing never grows, but stays predictably the same?"
"I simply don't believe it. The pecker on a twelve- or thirteen-year-old boy who has never produced a drop may grow by the day, but in the case of a man in his twenties, if his penis is going to develop at all, it will do so very little, by millimeters rather than centimeters."
"If it were just a matter of centimeters, you wouldn't notice the difference. It would only be noteworthy if it grew several times bigger."
"Impossible! We may have get-rich-quick millionaires, but there are no get-big-quick penises! Anyway take it out and let me see it."
"The last time I did that I had to put up with a stream of ridicule from you. That same day I made a solemn vow never to show my penis to anyone ever again. Then I stuck the vow on my wall. I'm not going to make a spectacle of myself a second time."
"Stop making fun of me, brother, and hurry up and show me. I hope it has grown a bit. If so, I shall offer it my humblest apologies."