"What are they?"
Flora recited: "Erotic pictures, erotic books, lewd sounds."
"As for erotic pictures and books, I used both methods when I was newly married and they worked well, with one limitation. They aroused me the first time I looked at them, but by the second or third time I became bored. They can be used once in a while, but not as a regular standby."
"I imagine you had only a small supply at home and that you finished them up quickly and got bored. I have a large stock, several dozen albums and several hundred novels, and by the time you finish the last one, you've forgotten the first and can start all over again and get just as excited as before.
"However, there is a right and a wrong time to use them. Erotic pictures should be looked at before sex, while the partners still have their clothes on and are behaving correctly. When looking at a picture and analyzing its subtleties, you should not do anything, even if your feelings happen to be aroused. If the penis stands up and the fluid starts to flow, you must ignore both developments until you've looked at several dozen pictures and can restrain yourselves no longer. That's the way to get the full effect of an erotic album.
"For erotic novels to be of any practical use, they should be read after you've begun but before you've finished. Place the book in front of you before you begin. Then, when you've done it for a while, one or other of you should open the book and read aloud from it. When you come to an exciting passage, start sex again. When you reach a less interesting stage in sex, start reading again. That's the way to get the full effect of an erotic novel."
"What a subtle observation!" said Vesperus. "Obviously I have neglected my studies and made no progress. As the adage says, one's education never ends. Without the benefit of your instruction, I might have gone on studying and practicing all my life and never learned this. I now understand the first two items, but not the last. Not only have I never written on that topic, I'm not even sure what it means. What do you mean by lewd sounds?"
"In my opinion," replied Flora, "there is nothing to surpass it among all the thrills and pleasures of sex. It means lying beside a pair of lovers and listening to the sounds they make-enough to drive you wild with delight. I've always taken a special pleasure in listening to other people in action. While my husband was alive, I used to get him to seduce a maid and do it as rapidly and noisily as possible, so that the girl was quite beside herself and began to cry out. That would bring me to a fever pitch and I'd give a cough, at which he would fly into my bed and pound away furiously. I'd make him ignore the usual strategy and throw himself into a continuous, all-out assault. Not only would I get a pleasant sensation inside, it would spread to the bottom of my heart and I'd spend after no more than seven or eight hundred strokes. As a method, it's even more fun than erotic pictures and novels."
"An even more delightful disquisition!" said Vesperus. "But there is just one point that puzzles me. You told me your honorable husband's stamina was on the inadequate side. If so, how did he manage to seduce a maid and then have sex with her mistress straight afterward? Moreover with the maid he had to do it as rapidly and as loudly as possible. I'd expect him to be a spent force by the time he got to you, so how could he hurl himself into an all-out assault? I'm afraid I'm not able to credit that quite so easily."
"In the first stage I didn't ask him to do it himself, but to use a stand-in. Only in the second stage, the all-out assault, did I have to ask his help. He'd never have been able to manage it all on his own."
"I think I know that stand-in. Is his name Mr. Horn, by any chance?"
"Right. We have lots of them in the house. And as for pretty maids, we have several of those too. I daresay that in our first encounter today I won't have any difficulty spending, but we must try that method tomorrow."
Vesperus was enthralled and felt as if he had just seduced the maid, heard the cough, and rushed into Flora's bed. Heedless of strategy, he threw himself into a continuous, all-out assault.
During their conversation he had not been idle but had thrust steadily away, at least five hundred times in all. Now, with this renewed assault, the pleasant sensation in her vagina spread to the bottom of her heart and, just as if she were dying, her hands and feet grew cold, her eyes glazed over, and her mouth dropped open.
Had Flora not told him her secret in advance, Vesperus would have been alarmed. But after a few minutes, just as she had predicted, she revived and, clasping him to her, sighed in admiration: "What a fine, capable sweetheart you are, to make me spend without a stand-in. Judging by this performance, your stamina belongs in the summa class. How can you say it's only a magna plus?"
"I gave you a summa in my notebook and now you're doing the same thing for me! How quickly you've returned the compliment!"
"I was going to ask you," said Flora, "who crossed out those three names in your notebook and added that comment."
Vesperus was loath to tell her and pretended not to know.
"You may not want to say," said Flora, "but I can easily guess what happened. It was those three wenches, who think I'm old and have lost my looks and can't compare with them, so they liken themselves to Huaiyin and me to Jiang and Guan, as if to say they're ashamed to be ranked with me. Well, they may be a few years younger than I am and their skin a little softer, but I assure you that they're good for nothing but sitting there and letting you admire them. I doubt very much that they can equal this old lady when it comes to the real thing. On top of that, if you compared our vaginas, you'd find a similar difference in quality. I'll keep my feelings to myself for the present and not quarrel with them, but once we have some free time, I'll go over there and organize a contest. We'll all undress and have sex together in broad daylight. Each woman will show what she can do, and then we'll see whether youth or experience wins the day."
"You're right. They're young and untried and they do need an experienced hand to guide them. You should arrange a contest."
"That's for later. We can discuss it some other time. Let's think how to enjoy ourselves now."
It was getting late, so they dressed. Flora told the maids to prepare a formal dinner of welcome for Vesperus. She had an excellent capacity for wine, fully equal to his, and the two of them played guess-fingers and drinking games until the second watch had passed. By that time their feelings were so stirred by the wine that they went back to bed and began again. That evening saw Flora's long period of enforced celibacy come to an end. Her essence flowed easily, and she had no need to resort to her special methods.
Next day she arose and brought out her erotic albums and novels, which she had not looked at in years, and placed them on the table in readiness. She had four personal maids, all attractive, two of whom were sixteen or seventeen and, having lost their maidenheads, could accommodate him. The others, being fourteen or fifteen and still virgins, were useless, and Vesperus suggested that Flora send them to Satchel and let him break them in for several days and nights, in preparation for their role in arousing their mistress.
From this time on, Vesperus and Flora pursued their pleasures by night and day with the aid of all three methods. After he met Flora, Vesperus's enjoyment was of a different order from what it had been, and his knowledge was also greatly enhanced.
Flora worried that her nieces would come and ask for their property back, so from the moment the trunk arrived, she kept the side door locked and refused to open it no matter how loudly they clamored. On the fifth day of unrest, however, Vesperus felt sorry for them and tactfully pleaded their case to Flora, who was obliged to settle the issue by promising to return him in two days' time. With a definite date set for his return, the nieces ceased banging on the door.