"We could disguise ourselves as almost anybody," Violet said. "Look, here's a wig that makes me look like a clown, and here's one that makes me look like a judge."
"I know," Klaus said, holding up a large box with several drawers. "This appears to be a makeup kit, complete with fake mustaches, fake eyebrows, and even a pair of glass eyes."
"Twicho!" Sunny said, holding up a long white veil.
"No, thank you," Violet said. "I already had to wear that veil once, when Olaf nearly married me. I'd rather not wear it again. Besides, what would a bride be doing wandering around the hinterlands?"
"Look at this long robe," Klaus said. "It looks like something a rabbi would wear, but I don't know if Madame Lulu would believe that a rabbi would visit her in the middle of the night."
"Ginawn!" Sunny said, using her teeth to wrap a pair of sweatpants around her. The youngest Baudelaire meant something like, "All these clothes are too big for me," and she was right.
"That's even bigger than that pinstripe suit Esm bought you," Klaus said, helping his sister get disentangled. "No one would believe that a pair of sweatpants was walking around a carnival by itself."
"All these clothes are too big," Violet said. "Look at this beige coat. If I tried to disguise myself in it, I'd only look freakish."
"Freakish!" Klaus said. "That's it!"
"Whazit?" Sunny asked.
"Madame Lulu said that she didn't have enough freaks in the House of Freaks. If we find disguises that make us look freakish, and tell Lulu that we're looking for work, she might hire us as part of the carnival."
"But what exactly do freaks do?" Violet asked.
"I read a book once about a man named John Merrick," Klaus said. "He had horrible birth defects that made him look terribly deformed. A carnival put him on display as part of a House of Freaks, and people paid money to go into a tent and look at him."
"Why would people want to look at someone with birth defects?" Violet asked. "It sounds cruel."
"It was cruel," Klaus said. "The crowd often threw things at Mr. Merrick, and called him names. I'm afraid the House of Freaks isn't a very pleasant form of entertainment."
"You'd think someone would put a stop to it," Violet said, "but you'd think somebody would put a stop to Count Olaf, too, and nobody does."
"Radev," Sunny said with a nervous look around them. By "Radev," she meant "Somebody's going to put a stop to us if we don't disguise ourselves soon," and her siblings nodded solemnly in agreement.
"Here's some kind of fancy shirt," Klaus said. "It's covered in ruffles and bows. And here's an enormous pair of pants with fur on the cuffs."
"Could both of us wear them at once?" Violet asked.
"Both of us?" Klaus said. "I suppose so, if we kept on our clothes underneath, so Olaf's would fit. We could each stand on one leg, and tuck our other legs inside. We'd have to lean against one another as we walked, but I think it might work."
"And we could do the same thing with the shirt," Violet said. "We could each put one arm through a sleeve and keep the other tucked inside."
"But we couldn't hide one of our heads," Klaus pointed out, "and with both of our heads poking out of the top we'd look like some sort of"
"two-headed person," Violet finished, "and a two-headed person is exactly what a House of Freaks would put on display."
"That's good thinking," Klaus said. "People won't be on the lookout for a two-headed person. But we'll need to disguise our faces, too."
"The makeup kit will take care of that," Violet said. "Mother taught me how to draw fake scars on myself when she appeared in that play about the murderer."
"And here's a can of talcum powder," Klaus said. "We can use this to whiten our hair."
"Do you think Count Olaf will notice that these things are missing from his trunk?" Violet asked.
"I doubt it," Klaus said. "The trunk isn't very well organized, and I don't think he's used some of these disguises for a long time. I think we can take enough to become a two-headed person without Olaf missing anything."
"Beriu?" Sunny said, which meant "What about me?"
"These disguises are made for fully grown people," Violet said, "but I'm sure we can find you something. Maybe you could fit inside one of these shoes, and be a person with just a head and one foot. That's plenty freakish."
"Chelish," Sunny said, which meant something along the lines of, "I'm too big to fit inside a shoe."
"That's true," Klaus said. "It's been a while since you were shoe-sized." He reached inside the trunk and pulled out something short and hairy, as if he had caught a raccoon. "But this might work," he said. "I think this is the fake beard Olaf wore when he was pretending to be Stephano. It's a long beard, so it might work as a short disguise."
"Let's find out," Violet said, "and let's find out quickly."
The Baudelaires found out quickly. In just a few minutes, the children found out just how easy it was to transform themselves into entirely different people. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny had some experience in disguising themselves, of courseKlaus and Sunny had used medical coats at Heimlich Hospital in a plan to rescue Violet, and even Sunny could remember when all three siblings had occasionally worn costumes for their own amusement, back when they had lived in the Baudelaire mansion with their parents. But this time, the Baudelaire orphans felt more like Count Olaf and his troupe, as they worked quietly and hurriedly in the night to erase all traces of their true identities. Violet felt through the makeup kit until she found several pencils that were normally used to make one's eyebrows more dramatic, and even though it was simple and painless to draw scars on Klaus's face, it felt as if she were breaking the promise she made to her parents, a very long time ago, that she would always look after her siblings and keep them away from harm. Klaus helped Sunny wrap herself in Olaf's fake beard, but when he saw her eyes and the tips of her teeth peeking out of the mass of scratchy hair it felt as if he had fed his baby sister to some tiny but hungry animal. And as Sunny helped her siblings button themselves into the fancy shirt and sprinkle talcum on their hair to turn it gray, it felt as if they were melting into Olaf's clothes. The three Baudelaires looked at one another carefully but it was as if there were no Baudelaires there at all, just two strangers, one with two heads and the other with a head that was covered in fur, all alone in the hinterlands.
"I think we look utterly unrecognizable," Klaus said, turning with difficulty to face his older sister. "Maybe it's because I took off my glasses, but to me we don't look a thing like ourselves."
"Will you be able to see without your glasses?" Violet asked.
"If I squint," Klaus said, squinting. "I can't read like this, but I won't be bumping into things. If I keep them on, Count Olaf will probably recognize me."
"Then you'd better keep them off," Violet said, "and I'll stop wearing a ribbon in my hair."
"We'd better disguise our voices, too," Klaus said. "I'll try to speak as high as I can, and why don't you try to speak in a low voice, Violet?"