— Tell you about what? said Judy, not meeting her sister’s eyes.
It took a bit of pressing but Judy eventually told her. Once she got talking about him, she had a hard time stopping. The last six weeks or so, since the weather got nice, Judy had started walking to work every day. This was a big thing for her, a twenty-five-minute walk, but it was good exercise that was managing the weight the Elavil wanted to put on her frame. The midpoint of the walk was a little joint called Donut Line, and she’d started stopping there for an early meal before work. And this is where she’d met him.
Eleanor told Stan she could imagine it. Her sister at a table by herself. Bowl of soup, sandwich, day-old tabloid. There’s this seasonal labourer who comes in around the same time every day for a coffee. This guy with the nice smile passes Judy at her table, the first time just saying hello, the next time asking how are you, and the day after that asking if this seat’s taken.
The man’s name was Colin.
It wasn’t clear how long it had taken Judy to go on a date with him. Judy told Eleanor they went to the A amp;W mostly. They just talked. Colin was a good listener. He didn’t ask a lot of questions, like how she was feeling that day, was it an up day or a down day. Judy would tell him all about how she liked riding on the train, like when she’d gone to and from the city, or how she’d loved it when her dad used to take them to the drive-in before he died. You couldn’t go to the drive-in any more, of course, since it had burned down.
Eleanor wanted to ask Judy about the other dimension to it, but was embarrassed. Even now, telling Stan, she blushed fiercely. What else might be going on, other than chats in the A amp;W parking lot? But she made herself ask, and Judy stood up and said: Oh my God, Ellie. I’m twenty-eight years old. I know what I’m doing.
Eleanor only saw Colin once or twice more. Both times he was dropping Judy off at the National Trust. It seemed like a sign that maybe their lives were moving forward.
But then, around the third week of August, something happened. At work one afternoon, Eleanor didn’t see her sister. Alda hadn’t seen her either. Eleanor hurried home, found her sister in her bedroom, pale, haggard, as bad as she’d been in a very long time. She was unwashed and the room was musky.
It was Colin. Eleanor couldn’t draw the particulars out of her sister but they didn’t really matter. He’d been around for awhile and then he’d broken it off. He’d been casual about it.
Judy stopped eating, quit showing up for work. She quit taking her pills. She spent entire days inside with the blinds drawn and the television on. Eleanor called the doctor but he said little of substance. Judy wasn’t aggressive or volatile. She was her own custodian as far as the law was concerned. Nobody could force her to medicate. They could only watch her. She’d been worse in the past, and she’d come out of that.
Eleanor told Stan that she didn’t really think she could hold Colin to hard judgment for what became of Judy. Her sister had no prior experience with men. If a man wanted to take advantage of her, or just tell her this and that to keep her around for sex, she wouldn’t know any better. And even if Colin didn’t intentionally misguide her, Judy had probably made it a certain way in her mind and her heart that wasn’t the same as reality. So Eleanor couldn’t judge him too harshly.
Eleanor spent as much time as she could with her sister. She and Tommy cancelled a camping trip they’d planned for Labour Day. Then, the Tuesday after the long weekend, Eleanor came home from work and saw a dent in the front bumper of their mother’s old car. Some bad scratches were raked into the paint. She found Judy on the back porch. Judy was different from how she’d been for the past ten days. She was smiling again. She looked half asleep. She looked like she’d resumed her medication.
Eleanor asked about the car. Judy told her sister a little bit about what she’d done, how she’d gone to a roadhouse where Colin liked to hang out. But this was the middle of the afternoon and he wasn’t there. So she went to another place, a place he’d taken her a few times. A nice quiet place out at Indian Lake, twenty-five minutes east of town, where he lived in a motorhome, the kind you wish you could drive across the country in. Judy told Eleanor that she’d parked the car and gotten out and walked up the driveway. It was a long driveway. She’d come in sight of the motorhome. Outside, there was some s-l-u-t suntanning in a chair. Asleep, Judy guessed, because then when she heard Colin’s voice calling this girl from inside the motorhome, calling her baby, calling, Hey, baby, come on inside, the girl in the chair didn’t even move.
— You could tell just by looking at her what a tart she was, said Judy.
Judy turned around and walked down the long driveway and got back in the car and drove back to town. She cried the whole way. She hit a mailbox at one point but didn’t care. She just wanted to go home.
Some real s-l-u-t, Judy told Eleanor. The flat way she said it, she might have been commenting on how the fall was right around the corner. She was feeling better now, she said. She had half a mind to get in the car and drive back out there and rain on the little party they were probably having.
— But you won’t go, Judy, will you.
— No, Ellie. I’m staying right here.
— I keep thinking about how I shouldn’t have left her for one minute, said Eleanor. But I’d made plans with Tommy that night to make up for the trip we’d cancelled. I thought Judy was okay because she was on her pills again, and would probably fall asleep early, and we’d be able to talk about it more in the morning …
Eleanor had been sitting at the table in the reading room with her cheek propped on her fist for quite awhile. No tears had been shed. She just looked tired.
— You couldn’t of known, said Stan.
He didn’t believe that. He could see Eleanor’s lapse in judgment for what it was and he knew she would carry that with her for a long time to come.
— Do you remember what time it was you found her?
— Oh, said Stan. Had to of been ten o’clock.
— Three hours after the last time I ever saw her.
There wasn’t much else to the story. Judy had left a note on the dashboard of the car. All it said was I’m sorrey amp; I love you. Ellie. Eleanor answered questions for the police and went through Judy’s personal effects. She received cards in the mail. The women at the bank brought casseroles. If Eleanor never had another casserole again, she said, she’d be happy.
Stan walked with Eleanor back to where she’d parked at the Owl Cafe. She was driving Tommy’s car. She’d gotten rid of the car Judy died in.
— What will you do now, Stan?
— I don’t know, Ellie. First, I’ll have a word with a couple friends of mine.
— Maybe there’s nothing to know. Really. Maybe you shouldn’t even trouble yourself.
— It’s no trouble for an old guy with nothing much to do.
She opened her car door and said: Thanks for hearing me out, Stan.
— No. Thank you.
— I loved my dad, said Eleanor. I loved my dad, but he was wrong about you.
In the morning, Clifton took Lee with him to pick up building materials. The heavy labour at the cottage where they were working was wrapping up, Clifton said. He didn’t know how much longer he’d need Bud or Lee on the site. Lee nodded, frowning.
— You’re not losing heart, are you? said Clifton.
— I guess I liked the way things were going out at the big place.
— You’re just supposed to keep heart as always. Think about your Matthew. If you have faith as small as this mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, move from there to there, and it will be so. 17:20.
— Faith I got, Mr. Murray. A job is what I need to keep.
— Well, it so happens that I got the bid for another place. We’ll be starting there soon enough, and I’ll have enough work for you and Bud straight to Christmas if we’re lucky.