— I travelled for awhile with these Hare Krishnas, said Helen. We shared everything. They were real good people. Then I went back to the city in about 1972. The city was where the action was.
She told them more, a rambling stream of words interrupted by the odd giggle. It was difficult to understand what had driven her to the city, but she told them she had a son.
— He’d be about your age, said Helen to John.
John gaped at her. Lee sounded as if he’d caught something in his throat. He coughed and cleared whatever it was, and slowly set into his ham and his peas again.
— Does your son go to school here in town? said Donna.
— Oh no, said Helen. I don’t … He doesn’t live with me. But the way it goes, things have a certain way of working out, you know? Like, to everything there is a season and a purpose.
— But you were in the city, said Donna. How’d you end up here?
— You got a lot of questions, said Lee.
— That’s okay, said Helen.
But Donna had put her knife and fork down on either side of her plate: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosy.
The boys stared around the table. Barry chewed methodically.
— It’s fine, said Helen. Come on, Brown Eyes, she’s asking me about myself.
— I didn’t mean to be nosy, said Donna again.
— It was a man, hun. Isn’t it always a man for us gals? Anyways he’s not my problem any more. I don’t even know where he is.
— I see.
— And he owed me money, but, oh well. Maybe Lee should go have a chat with him. Tell him what’s what.
Silence fell like a shroud. They all went on eating, pretending nothing had been said.
At length, Barry cleared his throat: I’ve seen Clifton at church. It’s a difficult time for him but he’s handled it well.
Lee chuckled dryly: And he wasn’t even in the god- He wasn’t even in the boat when it happened. Good for him. I wonder if he’s helping Bud’s wife to handle it, too. He’s sure done a lot to check up on me.
— He always mentions what a hard worker you are, Lee. You really did impress him.
— Well, how about that.
Helen had caught John staring at her. She crossed her eyes and puckered her lips together. The boy blinked down at his plate. She told him he’d catch flies with his mouth open like that.
— I made a cobbler for dessert, said Donna hastily. She got up and started to clear the plates.
— I’ll help you, said Helen.
— No, I have it.
But Helen had already lifted her plate and Lee’s from the table. She laughed: Oh, hun, I’ve been a waitress for a long time. Stuff like this is one of the two things I’m any good at.
A short while later, Pete was on the telephone in the hallway.
— I’m going to be in town later tonight. I want to see you.
— Pete, it’s a weeknight. My dad is home. Is something wrong?
— No, there’s nothing wrong. I just want to see you is all.
— I want to see you too. Okay. I’ll go out for a walk. Eight-thirty. I’ll be walking on my street.
He hung up and went back through the living room. Barry was conducting a bible lesson with Luke and John. He was speaking about the Magi. Pete could only see the backs of the boys’ heads and the expressiveness on Barry’s face as he entreated them. Lee was sitting in the recliner. He was flexing his hand into a fist and studying it closely. Releasing, flexing.
In the kitchen Donna was holding a dish, paused in the act of drying it. There had been times in Pete’s life when he had found her like this, unmoving and blank in the midst of some chore.
Helen was sitting on the counter, discussing gossip from the Owl Cafe. Donna stood static, holding the dish like a plate of armour over her heart.
— And the man she shacked up with? said Helen. Hun, you wouldn’t believe.
— Mom, said Pete.
He put his hands on the dish and tugged and for a moment Donna’s hands clutched it. Then she released. Her eyes moved to her son. She put a hand to the side of her face and then she turned around to what remained on the drying rack. She said nothing.
— Pete even helps out in the kitchen? said Helen. I bet every girl in town is kicking down your door. She flashed a brazen wink.
When Pete went back into the living room, Barry was telling the boys how King Herod was in a murderous rage. The faces of the boys were rapt, imagining the sight of infants being put to slaughter. Lee looked bored.
— Uncle Lee, said Pete.
They all looked at him. Barry paused mid-story.
— I’m going to drive into town in a minute or two, said Pete.
— I’ll grab Helen if she can stop yapping, said Lee.
The guests said their goodbyes, Lee curtly and Helen with the same rambling exuberance she’d shown through supper. Donna did not come out of the kitchen. Barry saw them to the front door. He told them he’d be happy to see them at church.
They got into Pete’s car. Pete was tense and he did not know why. Every darkened field he passed he found himself looking for avenues of escape, as if it should be a sudden and uncalculated move. Helen laughed about something.
— I didn’t know you had a goddamn kid, said Lee.
— That was another life, said Helen. It doesn’t matter any more.
They came into town. Lee told Pete to take them down to his place. The trees in the lakefront park stood like black bones against the snow.
— Funny, said Lee. I never thought about it before, but if anybody asked me I couldn’t tell them where you live. I got no idea.
Helen laughed: Oh my God, Brown Eyes.
Pete pulled in behind the variety store. Lee said that he would see him around and got out of the car. Helen patted Pete’s knee.
— So nice to meet you.
Pete watched them. Lee dug for his keys and Helen hitched at her pantyhose and stepped side to side in her shoes. She swatted Lee’s backside. Lee looked at her and she shrugged.
Emily was walking on her street. She had her head held high and her hands in her front pockets. She got into Pete’s car and she kissed him, cold lips and warm mouth.
— I’m glad to see you.
— I’m glad to see you too.
— I can’t stay out for long. Five minutes.
— It’s okay. Five minutes is enough. How are you?
— School today was asinine. I feel like my work here is done, you know?
— I know. I’ve felt like that for a long time.
— What does it matter. Christmas break starts next Friday.
He could listen to her forever. Her hand was on his except when she lifted it to emphasize a point. Once again, nothing else in the world mattered. He wondered how, fifteen minutes ago, he’d been thinking about escape.
— I have to go away this weekend, said Emily.
— You do?
— Peter, you look broken-hearted.
— No …
— I am a little too. We could have gone bowling again.
— Where are you going?
— Our annual trip to the city, my mom and me. We’ll do our Christmas shopping. We’ve been doing it almost as long as I can remember.
— Where will you stay?
— In a hotel. Very fancy. Or maybe not, I don’t know. It’s close to downtown. Somewhere you can see the CN Tower and the lights and everything else. This is the first year we’re bringing my sister. But let’s talk about next Tuesday.
— Next Tuesday.
— You’re invited to dinner.
— Where?
— My house, Peter.
— With your folks?
— Who else? Do you accept?
— I do, said Pete. For sure.
When she kissed him, he could feel her tongue moving and then she grinned against his mouth. He drove her down to her house. She kissed him once more and she got out of the car. At the front door she turned and waved at him and then she went inside.
Pete drove around for awhile before he went home. His mind was at ease, which was funny to realize, since half an hour ago he’d been thinking about a sudden and uncalculated escape from everything. But now, the smell of Emily’s perfume or shampoo lingered in the car. As he drove, Pete found himself reconsidering his plan to move west. Maybe he had a reason to stay here, after all. Maybe he would rent an apartment in town, like Lee’s. Maybe, for once, everything was okay.