No wonder Henry Legion couldn't work up much concern about whether I individually lived or died. In a way, it didn't seem that important to me any more, either. But only in a way.
I stared down at my desk, trying to get back from contemplating Armageddon to doing my job. My eye fell on the note Rose had come in to give me. The message, I saw, was from Legate Kawaguchi. It said, in its entirety, "The feather is from a specimen of PHAROMACHRUS MOCINNO." It was written just like that; Rose had printed the formal name in block capitals so I couldn't possible misread it Undoubtedly she'd had Kawaguchi give it to her letter by letter so she wouldn't get it wrong, too. Rose is a queen among secretaries.
Only one trouble: I hadn't the slightest notion what a Pharomachrus mocinno was. I called Kawaguchi back, but I didn't get him. He'd gone into the field - something horrible and gruesome had just broken. The centurion who took my call sounded so harassed that I didn't have the nerve to ask him whether he knew what land of bird Kawaguchi had meant I went and checked our own reference library: not all environmental issues involve the Other Side. We had books about birds that dwell in the Barony of Angels. Pharomachrus mocinno wasn't one. A little information, but not much. I made a mental note to ask Kawaguchi about it the next time I talked with him, then went back to work.
A good rule I've developed and don't follow enough is when in doubt, make a list. Writing things down forces you to think about what's important to you. It works so well, it's almost magic. The first writing, I suspect, really was magic - vaasfc against forgetting. It still serves that role if you give it half a chance.
So I wrote. When I was done, the top of the list looked like this:
® Checking around the Devonshire toxic spell dump.
@ Bakhtiar's Precision Burins.
@ The Chumash Powers.
® Importing leprechauns.
® Chocolate Weasel.
Everything below ®, I figured, could wait. Most of the bottom of the list was day-to-day stuff where it didn't really matter whether the day was today, tomorrow, or next Tuesday. Some of the other items, like what had caused Jesus Cordero to be born apsychic, were important in and of themselves, but were also linked to high-priority items.
I also noticed I didn't really have five items up at the top: I had two. Getting to Bakhtiar's Precision Burins and Chocolate Weasel sprang from trying to get to the bottom of what was going on at the Devonshire dump, and of course the Chumash Powers study and the one on leprechauns were almost incestuously intertwined.
Armed with my list, I did go up front to see Bea. I wanted to get her approval on it so I could cany on with a clear conscience and without having to worry about unexpected thunderbolts from her. Rose waved me through into her sanctum; for a wonder, Bea wasn't on the phone and she didn't have anybody in there with her.
"Good morning, David," she said. One eyebrow went up.
"I hear you've been spending time with some high-powered company. I'm very impressed."
I wasn't surprised Rose had told her, a secretary is supposed to keep a division head informed about what people are doing. And besides, even a queen of secretaries is entitled to a little gossip.
But if Bea knew about Henry, I could take advantage of it even though I wished I'd never met the CI spook. I said,
"The Devonshire dump case seems to be turning into a national security affair. That's why I've put it at the top of my to-do list." I shoved the parchmentacross the desk at her.
She looked at it, she looked at me, she shook her head slowly back and forth a couple of times. In that church-choir voice of hers, she said, "David, why do I get the feeling the main reason you're showing me this list is to get my approval in advance for what you intend to do anyway?"
With some bosses, wide-eyed innocence would have been the best approach: Me? I can't wtagfne what you're talking about. Try that with Bea and she'd rap your knuckles with a ruler, maybe metaphorically, maybe not. I said, "You're right. But I really think these are the things that need doing. I'll handle as much of the rest of the stuff as I can, but I'm not going to worry if I get behind on it while I'm settling the big things." If I'd had to, I'd have told her about Charlie Kelly then. That would have shown her I wasn't taking the spell dump case too seriously.
But she looked at me again, nodded as slowly as she'd shaken her head before. "David, part of being a good manager is giving your people their heads and letting them run with their projects. I'm going to do that with you now. But another part of being a good manager is letting people know you're not here to be taken advantage of."
"I understand," I said. And I did: if these cases turned out to be inconsequential, or if they were important and I botched them, she'd rack me for it. That was firm, but it was fair. Bea is a good manager, even if I do hate staff meetings.
"All right, David," she said with a faint sigh. "Thank you."
Rose gave me a curious look as I emerged from Bea's office. I flashed a thumbs-up, then waggled it a little to show I wasn't sure everything would fly on angels' wings. She made silent clapping motions to congratulate me. "Oh, David, what was mat bird the constabulary legate called you about?" she asked.
"As a matter of fact, I still don't know myself," I said. "I went to the reference center to look it up, but I couldn't fend it there. That means it's not local, whatever it is. I'll call Kawaguchi back this afternoon and find out I'll let you know as soon as I do." One way to keep a secretary happy is not to hold out on her.
I went back to my office, dug through my notes, found the phone number for Bakhtiar's Precision Burins, and called. The way my luck had been running, I figured a thunderbolt would probably smite the Confederal Building just as I made the connection.
And I was close. The phone at the other end had just begun to squawk when a little earthquake rattled the building.
I sat there waiting, wondering the way you always do whether the little earthquake would turn into a big one. It didn't; in a few seconds, the rattling stopped. Along with (I'm sure) several million other people, I breathed a prayer of thanksgiving.
The secretary for Bakhtiar's Precision Burins and I spent a little while going "Did you feel that?" and "I sure did" back and forth at each other before I confirmed my appointment and hung up. Then I got back on the phone - this morning I'd used it as much as Bea usually does - and called Tony Sudakis. "HeDo, Dave," he said. "I was wondering when I'd hear from you again. Thought maybe my file fell behind your desk or something." He laughed to show I wasn't supposed to take him seriously.
I laughed too, to show I didn't. "No such luck," I told him.
"This is just to let you know that we will be doing a sorcerous decontamination check of the area around your site as soon as we can get the apparatus together. I appreciate the courtesy of the call, Inspector," he answered slowly - I wasn't Dave any more. I have to tell you, though, we still deny any contamination. You'll need a show-cause order before you can start anything like that, and we'll fight it."
"I know," I said. "When your legal staff asks you, tell them the case is under the jurisdiction of Judge Ruhollah" - I spelled it for him - "since he granted me the original search warrant." If the EPA couldn't get a show-cause order out of Maximum Ruhollah, I figured it was time for us to fold our tents and head off into the desert.
"Judge Ruhollah," Sudakis repeated. "I'll pass it along.
'Bye." I didn't think he knew about RuhoBah. But the consortium's lawyers would.
I moved parchments from one pile to another on my desk, called Legate Kawaguchi again and found out he was still at the crime scene, then ate a rubberized hamburger at the cafeteria. I washed it down with a cup of hot black mud, slid down the parking lot, and headed up into St. Ferdinand's Valley again.