"Scene 7: Harley and Jill plan to disappear in South America, but their getaway is foiled."
The chief grinned and shook his head. "Even Lieutenant Hames won't believe the one about the cat and the glued-on moustache."
When the news of the showdown at the Fitch mansion, leaked out, the Pickax grapevine worked overtime, and Qwilleran's phone rang all evening.
Arch Riker said, "We're remaking page one for tomorrow's paper, but there's one statement from Edd Smith that won't wash. He says you were hit on the head with a club and it shattered. We all know you're a hardhead, Qwill, but even your skull isn't hard enough to shatter a club."
"It wasn't a club, Arch. It looked like the thighbone of a camel. It was one of the bizarre relics on display in the library. There we were - in a dark closet - lunging at each other like Hamlet and Laertes, only those guys had rapiers, and all we had was a bone and a brass bugle. We must have looked like a couple of baggy-pants comics. When I whacked the bone with the bugle, it crumbled, and I realized it was made of plaster. Amanda says they have a lot of fakes in that place."
When Amanda herself called, she growled, "This whole stink wouldn't have happened if that family hadn't been so damned stingy with their money - and so phony about everything! Mr. and Mrs. Perfect, they thought they were! And they conned the whole county into believing it."
Gary Pratt also telephoned. "Jeez! I'm glad it's over. I probably knew more about Harley than anybody else did, sailing with him all the time. When he came home from his year in the clink, he was full of hate. He couldn't forgive David for stealing his woman."
Pete Parrott's message was brief. "I hope that SOB gets what he deserves!"
Roger MacGillivray, who had written the breaking story on the murder, said, "You know, Qwill, if it's true that Jill planned it all, she had a neat script - almost too neat. The plumbing emergency... the vehicle going fast down the dirt road and throwing up a cloud of dust... all those convincing details!"
Polly Duncan was the last to call. "Your phone has been busy all evening, Qwill. Are the rumors true? How did you know it was Harley and not David?"
"It started at my birthday party, Polly. Koko took an instant liking to Harley, Edd Smith, and Wally Toddwhistle - and later, my paperhanger. This theory may sound farfetched, but... they were all men who regularly worked with adhesives, and Koko is a fiend for glue. When he saw Harley's model ships, he pranced on his hind legs like the Mackintosh cat. And at the Fitch library, when he I showed such an avid interest in the man on the floor, I knew it wasn't David."
Late that night, when the freight train whistled at crossings north of town, Qwilleran sprawled on the sofa and reviewed the events of the last two weeks. Yum Yum was asleep on his chest, and Koko was balancing on the back of the sofa.
"Why were you so interested in sea stories all of a sudden?" Qwilleran asked him. "Why did you keep tilting the gunboat picture? Did you sense the identity of the murderer? Were you trying to steer my attention to a sailor and builder of model ships?"
Koko opened his mouth in a wide yawn, all teeth and pink gullet. It was, after all, 2:30 A.M., and he had had a hard day.
"Was it a coincidence that you and Yum Yum started acting like bookends? Or were you pointing a paw at the twins?"
Koko squeezed his eyes sleepily. He was sitting tall but swaying slightly. He almost toppled off the sofa back.
"You rogue! You pretend you haven't the slightest idea what I'm talking about," Qwilleran said. "We'll try it j once more... Would you like some turkey?"
Koko's eyes popped open, and Yum Yum raised her head abruptly. With one accord the two of them jumped to the floor, yikking and squealing as they raced to the refrigerator, where Qwilleran found them arranged in identical poses, like twins, as they stared up at the door handle.
EPILOGUE
THE PROSECUTOR is seeking a change of venue for the trial of Harley and Jill, arguing that it will be impossible to seat an objective jury in Moose County, where the citizenry is still under the spell of the Fitch mystique. According to Jill, who is cooperating with investigators to save her own neck, they staged the vandalism at the dental clinic to destroy the twins' dental records.
Qwilleran no longer employs the services of Francesca Brodie, and Yum Yum has reverted to her fastidious habits in the commode.
The Siamese, using their own built-in deodorant applied with long pink tongues, have dispelled the memory of the black-and-white kitty on lttibittiwassee Road.
Qwilleran is reading Moby-Dick aloud to the cats and spending weekends at Polly Duncan's cozy house in the country.
The Klingenschoen Theatre will open with an original revue written by Qwilleran and Hixie Rice.The hit number is sure to be "I Left My Heart in Pickax City."
Koko is learning how to turn the television off.
The End