“UGTBK!”
The girl went back to her laptop. “‘You’ve got to be kidding.’”
“I didn’t invent this machine!” McKenna cried. “Do you think I could invent something this complicated? Tiffany gave this to me. She said it didn’t go with her eyes. I said it didn’t go with mine, either, but she said I had a boxy head and this made it look thinner. I don’t even know how that thing works except you push the blue button. There’s a gauge on the side that tells you how long you have until the battery is recharged. That’s all I know!”
McKenna watched the odd children huddle and whisper. They kept looking over at her suspiciously. She wanted to send frown face texts to them all.
“So Tiffany gave you this?” the chubby one asked. “She invented it?”
“I don’t know who invented it, but I highly doubt it was Tiffany. She’s as dumb as a box of rocks. I swear her mom sets her clothes out in the morning and has to remind her which are pants and which are tops. Please don’t tell her I said that. She can be very mean. SWMBO.”
The blonde typed furiously. “‘She who must be obeyed.’”
“All I know is it showed up about three weeks ago,” McKenna cried in a panic. “It could’ve come from anyone.”
“Well, you’ve got to get back to the squad,” Flinch said to Matilda. “Figure out which of the other girls brought it in.”
Matilda shook her head. “This mission is over. We have the device. Let’s just toss Texting Tina in some cell for a while until this blows over.”
“A cell? Like a jail? I’d never make it. They only let prisoners go online a half hour a week!”
Just then, a man entered the room. He was a hottie, even though he was totally old. McKenna couldn’t help but stare at him.
“I’m afraid this mission is far from over, Wheezer. Just because we have this bridge device doesn’t mean Gerdie won’t build another one. We have to find her so she can help us stop the tears in the universe. They’re popping up all over the place now. Agents are telling us they’ve found a nuclear sub sitting in the middle of that park you girls were in last night. It’s not one of ours—the crew was made up of angry beavers.”
“I have always suspected the beavers would rise up against us,” Jackson said, laughing.
“This is serious business, Braceface. We need to find Gerdie on the double!”
Matilda scowled. “Fine! I’ll go back to the stupids and weed out the Mathlete!”
“Who are you calling stupids?!” McKenna snarled.
A pretty woman in glasses stepped into the room. A little blue ball floated in the air behind her. There was so much weirdness around McKenna. Was she losing her mind? She had to stop eating the meatloaf surprise.
“Better leave right away, Wheezer,” the woman said. “There has been another tear and something else disappeared.”
“What?” Agent Brand asked.
“The Washington Monument.”
Brand paused, and then roared, “We have to find a way to stop these tears! Find Gerdie Baker now!”
McKenna almost felt bad for Maddie. She would text her a frownie face if she could. But before she could reach for the phone, a needle was stuck in her arm and she blacked out.
THIS NEXT TEST JUDGES HOW YOU PERCEIVE THE WORLD. DOCTORS CALL THIS A RORSCHACH TEST. WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS LOOK AT THE PICTURES AND TELL ME WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS YOU SEE IN THEM. HELPFUL HINT: THE PICTURES ARE NOT TALKING TO YOU. THEY DON’T TALK. IF YOU HEAR VOICES COMING FROM THEM, THEN I THINK WE CAN BOTH AGREE THAT THIS TEST IS OVER. THEY’RE JUST PICTURES. I PROMISE.
a. TWO SEALS GIVING EACH OTHER A KISS (3 POINTS)
b. A SPACESHIP FLYING THROUGH AN ASTEROID FIELD (3 POINTS)
c. THE BOTTOM OF A BIRDCAGE (3 POINTS)
a. A ROSE (3 POINTS)
b. A CLOWN’S FACE (5 POINTS)
c. THE MONSTER THAT VISITS YOU AT NIGHT (10 POINTS)
a. A DOG (3 POINTS)
b. A MUTANT BUNNY (8 POINTS)
c. A MUTANT BUNNY CROSSED WITH AN ELEPHANT AND THE DEVIL (10 POINTS)
a. A WHITE STINGRAY RIDING ON TOP OF A BLACK STINGRAY (5 POINTS)
b. A STEALTH FIGHTER PLANE (3 POINTS)
c. A GREAT SYMBOL FOR MY SUPERVILLAIN COSTUME (9 POINTS)
a. A GOOD-LOOKING DUDE (1 POINT)
b. A STAGGERINGLY HANDSOME MAN (1 POINT)
c. MY MORTAL ENEMY (10 POINTS)
TOTAL THEM UP, BUSTER.
WOW. SCARY.
McKenna was given a memory drug that erased the last twenty-four hours of her life, which saved Matilda’s cover story and allowed her to continue her search for Gerdie Baker. Getting both of the girls back into the camp, however, was no easy task. McKenna slobbered like a bulldog and her legs were jelly, but Matilda somehow managed to pull her along. She dumped the dozing cheerleader onto her bunk and shoved her cell phone into her hand the way one might give a toddler a security blanket. Then Matilda fell into bed herself and slept as deeply as she ever had.
She woke from a dream in which her family—her mother, father, and brothers—were all living happily under the same roof. Ben and Molly waltzed around the living room, twirling like tops, smiling and gazing into each other’s eyes. Waking up to the real world felt like a body slam, and Matilda sat staring out the window next to her bunk and trying not to cry. She wondered if she could use Gerdie’s bridge device to find the world of her dreams. A simple push of a button could take her to a place where her mom and dad still loved each other.
When she felt calmer, she decided to take advantage of the fact that everyone else was still asleep. She climbed out of the bunk and moved from cabin to cabin, quietly searching through Lilly’s, Kylie’s, and Pammy’s belongings. She opened their drawers and duffel bags, rifled through their personal things, even peeked under their beds. Unfortunately, she didn’t find anything useful, except that Pammy might be a candy hoarder.
Frustrated, Matilda put everything back in place and returned to her bunk. She flipped open her notebook and took stock of her notes. Her suspects were mysteries to her. Kylie was kind and funny and in a crisis she kept a cool head. She could certainly have learned that from spy training. Tiffany was very athletic, something that would have come in handy as a secret agent. On the other hand, there were Pammy and Lilly, who spent most of their hours in front of the mirror, complimenting themselves. They followed Tiffany around like puppy dogs, and both could be exceptionally mean, but these were all just surface observations. What did she really know about them? Nothing! They were almost strangers to her. Kylie was sweet—she could even possibly be a real friend to Matilda—but getting to know the others made Matilda cringe. With her friends at home she had complete confidence, and she wasn’t bashful about speaking to anyone. But here, at this camp, with her makeup and cheerleading skirt, she felt awkward. Odd how suddenly becoming what most people thought of as beautiful and popular made her feel like a nerd. If only she could swap out the lip gloss for her combat boots!