The animals stepped into their fighting stances and surrounded the girls.
“Stay where you are,” the little yellow monkey commanded. “We’re waiting for your machine to recharge and then you and the rest of you moronic girls are going back to where you belong.”
Lilly cringed. “Talking monkeys!”
The gorilla pounded her chest and bared her fangs. “Some of us are apes!” she said, clearly insulted.
“Run!” Lilly cried, hurling herself into the overgrown jungle.
“Wait!” Matilda shouted, but Lilly was already gone. Matilda chased after her, swatting at branches and leaves. Roots sprang up on the path and snakes slithered out of her way. It seemed as if the whole jungle had risen up to torment her, but she eventually caught up with Lilly just as they plowed into Tiffany and McKenna.
“What is wrong with you nutcases?” Tiffany said.
“Monkeys are attacking!” Lilly cried.
“She’s gone crazy,” McKenna said. “I have to post about her breakdown!”
Just then the razorback flew overhead, propelled by two rocket-fueled inhalers. The rest of the furry team followed, causing Tiffany and McKenna to join in Lilly’s panic. The three of them ran off, once again abandoning Matilda.
Matilda stood up, brushed herself off, and shouted up into the trees. “You want to talk, I’m right here, but make it quick. We’ve got less than ten minutes before the portal opens and we have to leave!”
The gorilla slammed down hard in front of her, and the other creatures swung into view. The tiny yellow one leaped onto the gorilla’s shoulder and cleared her throat.
“Humans that talk,” the monkey said.
“Fascinating,” the baboon said.
“I’ve never been this close to a human,” the chimpanzee Flinch said. “She’s quite stinky.”
The orangutan stepped forward and eyed her closely. “The talking must be some trick she picked up. She’s mimicking us. The one at the zoo does tricks, too.”
The baboon Duncan fell from a tree and landed on his feet. “I don’t think it’s a trick. She appears to be intelligent.”
“You do realize I’m standing right here and can hear every word you say,” Matilda grumbled.
“I’d hardly call her intelligent,” a voice said from above, and then another creature landed at her feet. This one looked almost catlike, with a long striped tail. Matilda knew they were called lemurs—at least on her Earth. It peered into her face curiously.
“Not as smart as you, Mathlete, but still bright for her species,” the baboon said.
“Wait! You’re the Mathlete?” Matilda said to the lemur. “I mean, you’re this world’s Mathlete? I’m not from here.”
“Clearly,” the monkey Ruby said.
“But I’m one of you, I mean, I’m part of NERDS, but on my Earth. Wow, this is really hard to explain. My name is Matilda Choi. They call me Wheezer.”
“No way!” The razorback gorilla sneered and then circled her, eyeing her up and down. “There is no way I would be a cheerleader! Not on any planet.”
It was then that Matilda noticed the gorilla had a unibrow.
The lemur hopped up onto a branch. “We understand you are from somewhere else. Do you understand your visit here is destroying the multiverse?”
“You’re experiencing it here, too?”
“We’ve had some tearing in the fabric of reality. Things have been slipping into our world. If it hadn’t been for MISFIT, we would have no idea what was happening. I presume you are working with them?”
“MISFIT?”
“The Multiverse and Interdimensional Special Forces Intelligence Team,” the orangutan said. “They’re a version of NERDS from Earth 1. They fight crimes across the multiverse.”
Matilda was bewildered. “Well, we could use their help. We’re trying to stop this on our own. Did they tell you that the human version of Mathlete is responsible for all this chaos?”
“Harrumph,” the lemur said.
“Garrrrughhggaaa,” the chimpanzee Flinch said, overcome by the sugar in the bananas. He turned the knob on his harness. “What are you doing to stop her?”
“I have to find her first. We don’t know what she looks like,” Matilda said, then turned to the lemur. “Listen, I know this is a bit of a long shot, but if you can tell me anything about yourself that might help me identify my Gerdie, it could help. You are obviously very different, but I’m desperate!”
The lemur shook her head.
Suddenly, there was a loud hum. Matilda knew exactly what it was. The bridge device had activated.
“You need to get to the portal,” the orangutan said, echoing her thoughts.
“Fix this problem, human,” the lemur said. “Your world is not the only one at stake.”
Before Matilda left, she turned once more to her primate self. The gorilla eyed her right back. Then Matilda ran into the forest toward the device’s noise. She found the rest of the squad climbing down the stairs of what looked like an ancient Mayan pyramid. The five-story hand-crafted stone structure rose high above the jungle floor, and she spotted a small ceremonial room at its top. By the looks of the heavy sacks the girls were carrying down its steps, that’s where the treasure was stored.
“Glad to see the monkeys didn’t eat you,” Lilly said.
Matilda nodded. “Me, too.”
“You can forget about running up there and getting any of the gold. The portal is open. You blew it running around like a freak in the jungle,” Tiffany said, walking past her toward the glowing silver ball.
“H82BU,”Mckenna said.
Matilda pretended to be disappointed. In the last twenty-four hours she had nearly been killed by pirates, had nearly been eaten by a great white shark, and had come face-to-face with a gorilla version of herself. The crazy level had been turned up to ten! But all of these run-ins would be much preferable to what she had to do next. If she wanted to find Gerdie, she was going to have to do something drastic, and just the thought of it made her cringe.
Screwball’s feet were bound together and his arms were wrapped in a straitjacket. The heavy chain tied around his chest was equipped with fifteen industrial-strength padlocks that would require a blowtorch to cut. He had a mask over his face to prevent him from biting, and he was strapped to a wheelchair. The asylum staff had taken these precautions since he was being visited by someone whose name had appeared on a list he’d made entitled “10 People I Want to Watch Die.” The list read:
1. Duncan Dewey
2. Jackson Jones
3. Julio Escala
4. Rubu Peet
5. Agent Alexander Brand
6. The smug man on the Food Network who bakes extreme cakes
7. The dog whisperer
8. Santa Claus, for a lifetime of disappointments
9. Matidla Choi
10. To be decided but probably someone I really hate
With Matilda sitting directly across from him, he realized it had been a stupid list to make, especially with his new plan in full swing. Now he had to turn on the charm, which is not easy when you are tied up like a wild animal.
“Old friend! So nice of you to come visit me in the loony bin,” he said. His guard unfastened the padlocks chaining Screwball’s hands together and ran the chains down to the floor and through two steel pins mounted there. Then he snapped the locks shut. “I hope you’ll excuse my outfit. It appears the hospital staff thinks I’m dangerous.” He leaned forward as far as the chains would allow. “I know. Silly, huh?”