The two girls traded punches and kicks all over the campground. Gerdie had been trained well. Her attacks were fast and furious, but it was Matilda who eventually pinned the girl on her back and put her into a triangle submission hold. The rest of the squad stood in stunned silence until Kylie finally spoke.
“Who are you?”
“I’m a spy,” Matilda said. “You can call me Wheezer. Lilly—or Gerdie, or whatever you call her—she is a fugitive, and I was sent to find her and arrest her.”
Pammy looked as if she might be sick. “You came here and pretended to be one of us?”
“Actually, Gerdie did that first,” Matilda said.
Gerdie stomped her foot in anger. “I admit it all, but I worked hard to earn my spot. This was real for me. I just wanted to be pretty.”
“So now what?” Jeannie asked.
Matilda could see the anger on everyone’s face. “Well, she’s going back with me to help fix what she’s broken.”
“And what about us?” McKenna said.
Matilda scowled to cover her uncertainty. “What about you? You’re not the center of the world. You’re not even a tiny part of it! You’re cheerleaders. The entire multiverse is at stake. Who cares about you?”
“What about the finals?” McKenna asked Tiffany. “They’re tomorrow.”
Tiffany shook her head. “Lilly and Maddie or whoever they are dragged us into their stupid drama. We have to forfeit.”
Some of the girls began to cry. Others stood stone-faced, seething with hatred for Matilda and Gerdie. Kylie wouldn’t even look Matilda in the eye.
THESE RESULTS ARE GETTING WORSE AND WORSE! LET’S TRY SOMETHING EASY—FILL IN THE BLANKS.
NOW, NORMALLY YOU WOULD READ THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES AND CHOOSE THE WORD THAT BEST FITS YOU, BUT SO FAR THAT’S NOT WORKING. YOU’RE KIND OF CREEPY, KID. THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK IS THAT YOU ARE CONFUSED OR YOU LIVE TOO CLOSE TO POWER LINES. SO I’M GOING TO HELP YOU PICK THE RIGHT ANSWERS. YOU’LL SEE MY HELPFUL HINTS THROUGHOUT THE QUIZ. EASY-BREEZY!
______________
1. WHEN I WAS LITTLE, THE OTHER CHILDREN WOULD MAKE ME
a. LAUGH (1 POINT)
b. HAPPY (1 POINT)
c. CHEER (1 POINT)
d. START FIRES (10 POINTS)
DO NOT PICK THIS ONE!
______________
2. WHEN I SEE THE SUNRISE, I WANT TO
a. THANK THE WORLD FOR ANOTHER DAY OF LIFE (1 POINT)
b. BASK IN THE WONDER THAT IS THE UNIVERSE (1 POINT)
c. FEEL ITS RAYS KISSING MY SKIN (1 POINT)
d. STEAL THE SUN AND HOLD IT HOSTAGE UNTIL THE WORLD PAYS ME A TRILLION DOLLARS (10 POINTS)
THIS ONE ISN’T GOOD, KID.
______________
3. MY PARENTS ARE
a. LOVELY PEOPLE (1 POINT)
b. INSPIRING (1 POINT)
c. MY HEROES (1 POINT)
d. CARNIVAL FOLK WHO TAUGHT ME TO SWINDLE PEOPLE (10 POINTS)
NOPE! NADA! NO PICKY!
______________
4. MY BIGGEST WISH WOULD BE
a. WORLD PEACE (1 POINT)
b. A CURE FOR ALL DISEASES (1 POINT)
c. AN END TO POVERTY (1 POINT)
d. TO CAPTURE MY ENEMIES AND DISPLAY THEM IN A HUMAN ZOO (10 POINTS)
THIS IS SO, SO WRONG.
______________
5. THERE IS NOTHING MORE ADORABLE THAN A
a. PUPPY (1 POINT)
b. BUNNY (1 POINT)
c. BABY (1 POINT)
d. A PUPPY VS. BUNNY DEATH MATCH REFEREED BY A BABY (10 POINTS)
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT CHOOSING THIS ONE, BUSTER!
OK, ADD THEM UP.
AAARGH! WHY DO I EVEN TRY?
Gerdie was led into the Playground by Matilda, the lunch lady, and a few kids she was told were current members of the team. She spotted Ms. Holiday waiting for her by the briefing table. It was nice to see a familiar face, even if its expression was full of disappointment.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Gerdie said, knowing the woman wanted an explanation for her behavior.
“You don’t think I know what it’s like to feel awkward, Gerdie?” Ms. Holiday said. “If you had asked, I could have shown you some old school pictures of me that would make your hair stand on end. I was a mess, but I grew out of it. You would have, too.”
“I couldn’t wait.”
“Your impatience nearly destroyed the world,” Benjamin said as the orb floated toward her.
“But you do have a chance to fix things,” Ms. Holiday said as she unlocked the handcuffs that bound Gerdie’s wrists.
“Are you ready for your upgrades?” Benjamin asked.
Gerdie nodded. “I’ve missed them.”
“Then let’s get started,” Matilda said. “I’m exhausted and I’d really like to get out of this stupid uniform.”
Ms. Holiday ushered Gerdie into the upgrade room, then slid the door closed behind them.
At once a familiar electronic voice broadcasted through speakers mounted on the wall. “Scanning for weaknesses.”
“Upgrade room, stop scan. This is Ms. Holiday. Access file name Mathlete.”
The electronic voice was silent for a moment and then, “File found. Accessing data.”
“Re-install,” Ms. Holiday said.
A bed lifted up from the floor and Gerdie was eased on to her back. Her hands and feet were strapped down. Hoses and tubes dropped from the ceiling to begin their work.
Soon she could feel the tiny robots coursing through her bloodstream and up into her head. Complex numbers and equations illuminated inside her mind like tiny lightning bugs. Percentages and probabilities swam around in the sea that was her consciousness—free of life preservers. She felt as if there was nothing she could not understand.
When the process was over, the door of the upgrade room slid open and she stepped out to greet the rest of the NERDS team. Agent Brand, whom she had never met, said hello. The lunch lady welcomed her back.
“Are you ready to get started?” he said.
Gerdie nodded and felt a smile growing. She was needed. She was necessary. If she hadn’t been torn from this world so quickly after becoming part of it … well, who knew? Maybe being a Bigfoot would have been more tolerable.
“Before you start, a few words of warning,” Benjamin said. “Miss Baker, I know you worked with Heathcliff—”
“Screwball!” the boy shouted from across the room.
“Screwball,” Benjamin corrected. “I know you worked with him, but he is not who you remember. Do not allow him to lure you into committing another crime.”