“Unless, of course, you put on some makeup,” a voice said behind her. Matilda turned to find Tiffany and the rest of the girls stepping off the bus. “Pammy, Shauna, get to work on the newbie. She looks like a walking sack of dirty clothes. Oh, and get her a new uniform. I think she ruined the last one when Lilly whooped her butt.”
“Lilly did not—”
“Don’t push me, Maddie,” Tiffany said. “Suit up, everyone.”
Matilda was polished and primped, and before she knew it she and the rest of the squad were backstage waiting for their chance to perform. She was nervous, as were the other girls. Even Tiffany, who had always been confident, seemed shaky. Lilly’s absence forced them to re-choreograph their routines for an eight-girl team—no easy feat for a squad that spent nearly every waking hour striving for perfection.
“All right, everyone,” Tiffany said. “I’m not one for pep talks, but here goes—”
McKenna squealed. “OMG! I have to post this. Tiffany is giving us words of inspiration!”
Tiffany snarled at McKenna but then composed herself. “We’re short a girl, which is not good, so if any of the rest of you are spies speak now. No one? Good. Now what’s important is that we’re a team. Each of us has our own skills and backgrounds and quirks and that’s what makes us great. Toni can do a standing handspring that’s amazing. McKenna has a flawless split. Maddie, here—”
“It’s Matilda!” she interrupted.
Tiffany rolled her eyes. “Fine, Matilda here, well, it sounds like she knows eighteen punches that will kill a man where he stands. I don’t know how that’s going to help us win, but if we don’t it might be useful in dealing out revenge to the judges.”
“I won’t kill the judges,” Matilda said.
“What I’m trying to say is that what makes us great is our differences. For instance, I’m stunningly beautiful, which draws a lot of attention and distracts from Kylie’s awkward dancing.”
Kylie groaned. “Tiffany, what kind of a lousy pep talk is this?”
“If you would let me finish!” Tiffany roared. “I was going to say that you have a loud, clear voice that distracts the judges from my occasionally whiny and nasal cheers! Sure, we’re cheerleaders, and people might think that cheerleaders are a bunch of brainless clones who only care about being pretty and perfect. But we know better. We’re actually a bunch of flawed people, but when we work together our strengths outweigh our weaknesses.”
“Wow!” Toni said. “That was inspirational.”
“I’m crying. Let me update my profile,” McKenna said as a tear ran down her cheek.
“I hate all of you,” Tiffany said.
Matilda reached out and shook her hand. “Good job, captain.”
Just then the squad was called on stage. With their hearts in their throats they marched in single file and stepped out in front of the crowd. There was a smattering of applause as they took their positions.
Matilda looked out at the audience with a sense of awe. These fans loved what the teams did. They came in all weather and fought traffic and followed them on the Internet. They thought cheerleaders were something special.
A hyper announcer with long blonde hair took a microphone and waved to the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen, last but not least we have Arlington, Virginia’s, own Team Strikeforce—our Eastern Conference elite squad. After their performance, the judges will compile their scores as well as those of the Western, Central, and Southern conferences. Then the winning squad will be announced. So, are you ready for one more cheerleading performance?”
The crowd roared. “Sit back and enjoy … Team Strikeforce!”
A thumping beat started and the squad stepped into action. The girls worked seamlessly, kicking and leaping. They clapped and danced with enthusiasm to make up for their missing member. They had thrown together choreography at the last minute and their performance was not perfect, but it managed to highlight each of the girls’ strengths. When one person lost a step, the others jumped in to help dazzle the crowd. When they were finished with their last “Fight! Fight! Fight!” Matilda knew that Team Strikeforce had done its best and she hadn’t used her super-inhalers once. Somehow it would have seemed like cheating.
The three other teams were brought out as the judges tallied their numbers. Matilda slipped her hand into Kylie’s and Kylie slipped hers into Shauna’s. Even Tiffany took Matilda’s free hand.
“We have a winning team!” the announcer shouted. “Before we announce them, let’s give a big round of applause to all our competitors for this year’s National Cheerleading Association!”
The crowd cheered and Matilda felt Tiffany’s hand tense.
“Our third runner-up … from the Midwest, Action Incorporated!”
The crowd exploded and the girls of Action Incorporated stepped forward to accept their trophy. They took a bow, which led to even more applause, then returned to their place on the stage.
“Our second runner-up is Southern Hospitality!”
The girls from the South rushed to the announcer for a trophy that was quite a bit bigger than the first. They jumped and kicked and together shouted, “Thank you!”
“Our first runner-up did a remarkable job, but we can have only one winner,” the announcer said.
Matilda looked at Kylie as a drum roll was pumped through the speakers. Then she looked at Tiffany.
“You did good,” Tiffany said without a hint of a smile.
“Our first runner-up, representing the West Coast, California Girls! Yes, folks, that means this year’s winner of the coveted NCA trophy is our Eastern Conference finalists—Team Strikeforce!”
Matilda thought her ears were playing tricks on her. Had the announcer really said they’d won? She looked around at her squad and saw them jumping up and down. Pammy and Jeannie were crying. Kylie wrapped her arms around Matilda and gave her a strangling hug. Even Tiffany was grinning from ear to ear as she rushed to the center of the stage to take their trophy. She held it over her head and shouted, “I led them. This is my team. I am their leader!”
Matilda found herself jumping up and down, too. Later, she would be slightly embarrassed for screaming with delight and the many “wooos!” she let loose, but at that moment she couldn’t help herself.
Unfortunately, the celebration couldn’t last. She blasted an incredible sneeze, which could only mean one thing: There was trouble at the Playground. She tapped her nose to activate the comlink.
“Wheezer here.”
Brand’s voice sounded panicked. “Wheezer, I don’t know if you can hear me. It sounds very loud.”
“I can hear you, boss!” she shouted over the crowd. “What’s wrong?”
“We have a crisis. It’s Heathcliff.”
I’M GIVING YOU ONE LAST CHANCE TO PROVE YOUR SANITY. GET IT RIGHT AND YOU CAN CUT YOUR SCORE BY HALF! I DOUBT IT WILL MATTER, THOUGH.
WHO WAS THE GREATEST AGENT IN NERDS HISTORY?
a. YOU, MR. BUCKLEY! (CUT YOUR SCORE BY HALF!)
b. AGENT BEANPOLE (CUT YOUR SCORE BY HALF!)
c. IF I TOLD YOU, I’D HAVE TO KILL YOU … BUT IT WAS TOTALLY MICHAEL BUCKLEY (CUT YOUR SCORE BY HALF!)
d. FOUR EYES, WHO WAS ON THE TEAM FROM 1987 TO 1992 (100 POINTS!!!!!!)
OK, THAT’S IT. WE’LL TOTAL YOUR SCORE AT THE END OF THE FILE. FOR YOUR SAKE, AND THE SAFETY OF THOSE AROUND YOU, I HOPE YOU DID WELL.