He reached into his coat pocket and removed a black mask with a skull painted on the front. He slipped it over his wounded face and then stared at the menacing villain before him.
“Looks good on ya, bud. It’s got just the right amount of fear and mystery. That’s the kind of face that makes people tremble. And tremble they will. Look at me, world. Look at the man who’s going to rule this planet. Look at the Antagonist!”
GIVING YOU THIS TEST HAS BEEN HARD ON ME. LOOKING INTO YOUR FREAKY EYES HAS GIVEN ME NIGHTMARES. WATCHING YOU SWEAT AND STAMMER AND TALK TO YOUR BELLY BUTTON HAS NOT HELPED, EITHER. THE TRUTH IS IF I HAD TO DO THIS ANY LONGER, I MIGHT GO NUTS MYSELF! SO LET’S SEE HOW YOU DID. GO BACK AND TALLY ALL THE QUIZZES FOR YOUR NUMBER. HEY, WE’RE DOING MATH—THIS TEST TOTALLY TIES IN WITH THE CASE FILE!
OK, TELL ME THE TOTAL.
OH BOY!
36–100: PASS. YOU ARE CERTAINLY ECCENTRIC. YOU PROBABLY HAVE A FEW RESTRAINING ORDERS ISSUED AGAINST YOU. STILL, WITH A DOCTOR’S SUPERVISION YOU WON’T HURT ANYONE. YOU CAN STAY ON THE TEAM.
101–212: PASS. IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING TRYING TO KEEP YOURSELF FROM STRANGLING PEOPLE, BUT SO FAR, SO GOOD! JUST TRY TO REMEMBER THAT THE SATELLITES AREN’T WATCHING YOU AND YOU’LL PROBABLY BE FINE. YOU CAN STAY ON THE TEAM.
213–392: CONDITIONAL PASS. WOW! YOU’RE PACKED AND READY TO MOVE TO CRAZYTOWN. YOU NEED LOTS AND LOTS OF SUPERVISION AND PROBABLY QUITE A BIT OF BRAIN SURGERY, TOO. IF AFTER THAT YOU CAN STILL FEED YOURSELF, WE’LL CONSIDER PUTTING YOU BACK ON THE TEAM.
393 AND BEYOND: FAIL! OK, KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? YOU’RE CARRYING A DEATH RAY AND YOU’RE NOT AFRAID TO USE IT? THAT’S A BANANA, PAL! NOW LISTEN, THESE MEN IN THE WHITE COATS ARE GOING TO TAKE YOU SOMEWHERE YOU CAN REST. YES, THEY’RE YOUR FRIENDS. AND LOOK! THEY BROUGHT YOU A NEW JACKET! WOW, LOOK AT ALL THOSE FANCY BUCKLES AND LOCKS! YOU SHOULD TRY IT ON TO SEE HOW IT LOOKS ON YOU. THAT’S RIGHT … PUT ON YOUR STRAIT—I MEAN, YOUR NEW JACKET. WHAT’S THIS? OH, IT’S JUST A LITTLE INJECTION TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. IT WON’T HURT AT ALL. YES, JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES. SOON YOU WILL BE SOMEWHERE VERY NICE, AND GUESS WHAT? THERE IS GOING TO BE JELL-O! MMM, JELL-O! THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL MUCH BETTER.
Acknowledgments
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Susan Van Metre, my editor and friend, has worked to make this book into something better than I imagined it to be. It was also coedited by Maggie Lehrman, who has been a tremendous help to me on my Sisters Grimm series and continues to push me toward more interesting and meaningful stories. The unsung hero of these books, though, is Chad W. Beckerman and his inspired art direction. Everything cool about how these books look comes from him and his team. Ethen Beavers—thanks for turning my words into pictures that make kids, and the kid inside of me, so thrilled.
Jason Wells and his staff, including Laura Mihalick, deserve particular praise for spreading the word about NERDS to bookstores, teachers, librarians, and kids. Many thanks to Joe Deasy for reading and enjoying this stuff. And everyone at “the office” aka Starbucks: Marissa Mitchell, Leah Mathurin, Abdalla Ortega, and Sam Cates.
But the people that deserve the most thanks are my loving family, Alison and Finn. Aside from being my agent and co-owner of the Stonesong Press, Alison is my love. She gave me Finn, who gives me inspiration. If you like these stories, Alison and Finn are the reason. Thank you for every single day, and Finn, your little smile is my own personal bedtime story. Grow up strong and good and hopefully a little nerdy.
About the Author
Michael Buckley, a former member of NERDS, now spends his time writing. In addition to the top-secret file you are holding, Michael has written the New York Times bestselling Sisters Grimm series, which has been published in more than twenty languages. He has also created shows for Discovery Channel, Cartoon Network, Warner Bros., TLC, and Nickelodeon. He lives with his wife and their son, but if he told you where, he’d have to kill you.
This book was art directed and designed by Agent Chad W. Beckerman. The illustrations were created by Agent Ethen Beavers.
THE BOOK IS OVER!
THATS IT!
STOP TURNING PAGES!
ARGH!
WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
YOU CAN’T FOLLOW A
SIMPLE DIRECTION.
BUT SINCE YOU’RE HERE,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL TAKE
A LOOK AT THE NEXT
CASE FILE.
The Villain Virus
By Michael Buckley
Read NERDS: Book Four today!
Julio “Flinch” Escala was freaking out. Ten bombs had been planted beneath the streets of Paris, and they were set to go off at any minute. The destruction they would cause would be cataclysmic: hundreds of thousands of people would die and one of the world’s most beautiful cities would never be the same. It was his job to prevent it. But at that moment he was too busy with the freak-out mentioned above. He screamed and kicked and struggled and screamed some more. And then he did it again.
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
The NERDS had easily located Captain Kapow’s bombs, which had been stashed in the Paris catacombs, a series of intertwining mazes that turn the French city’s underground into Swiss cheese. All the team had to do was go into the tunnels, find the bombs, and deactivate them.
Easy, right? Well, it probably would have been easy if General Savage hadn’t put Flinch in charge.
The general must have thought that having the fastest and strongest member of NERDS in charge was a natural choice. But the fact was, Flinch wasn’t leadership material. He was hyperactive, and he had a hard time concentrating, especially when he was full of sugar, which was most of the time. When put on the spot, Flinch sorted through hundreds of plans all competing for center stage in his mind. It gave him a headache trying to untangle them. So he had done what came naturally—he plunged into the tunnels head-first all by himself . . . and was promptly surrounded by a gang of thugs. He fought most of them with ease, but one had clocked him in the back of the noggin, and then it was lights out, Flinch!