The Chosen

He looked at me queerly.

'Of course it is all right. Why should it not be all right? Dr Snydman operated on it, and he is a very big man.'

'He operated on my eye?' It had never occured to me that I had been through an operation. 'What was wrong? Why did he have to operate?'

My father caught the fear in my voice.

'You will be all right now,' he calmed me. 'There was a piece of glass in your eye and he had to get it out. Now you will be all right.'

'There was glass in my eye?'

My father nodded slowly. 'It was on the edge of the pupil.'

'And they took it out?'

'Dr Snydman took it out. They said he performed a miracle.' But somehow my father did not look as though a miracle had been performed. He sat there, tense and upset.

'Is the eye all right now?' I asked him.

'Of course it is all right. Why should it not be all right?'

'It's not all right,' I said. 'I want you to tell me.'

'There is nothing to tell you. They told me it was all right.'

'Abba, please tell me what's the matter.'

He looked at me, and I heard him sigh. Then he began to cough, a deep, rasping cough that shook his frail body terribly. He took a handkerchief from his pocket and held it to his lips and coughed a long time. I lay tense in the bed, watching him. The coughing stopped. I heard him sigh again, and then he smiled at me. It was his old smile, the warm smile that turned up the corners of his thin lips and lighted his face…

'Reuven, Reuven,' he said, smiling and shaking his head, 'I have never been good at hiding things from you, have I?'

I was quiet.

'I always wanted a bright boy for a son. And you are bright.

I will tell you what they told me about the eye. The eye is all right. It is fine. In a few days they will remove the bandages and you will come home.'

'In only a few days?'

'Yes.'

'So why are you so worried? That's wonderful I'

'Reuven, the eye has to heal.'

I saw a man walk up the aisle and come alongside Billy's bed.

He looked to be in his middle thirties. He had light blond hair, and from his face I could tell immediately that he was Billy's father. I saw him sit down on the edge of the bed, and I saw Billy turn his face toward him and sit up. The father kissed the boy gently on the forehead. They talked quietly.

I looked at my father. 'Of course the eye has to heal" I said.

'It has a tiny cut on the edge of the pupil, and the cut has to heal.'

I stared at him. 'The scar tissue,' I said slowly. 'The scar tissue can grow over the pupil.' And I felt myself go sick with fear.

My father blinked, and his eyes were moist behind the steel rimmed spectacles.

'Dr Snydman informed me he had a case like yours last year, and the eye healed. He is optimistic everything will be all right.'

'But he's not sure.'

'No,' my father said. 'He is not sure.'

I looked at Billy and saw him and his father talking together quietly and seriously. The father was caressing the boy's cheek. I looked away and turned my head to the left. Mr Savo seemed to be asleep.

'Reb Saunders called me twice today and once last night,' I heard my father say softly.

'Reb Saunders?'

'Yes. He wanted to know how you were. He told me his son is very sorry over what happened.'

'I'll bet.' I said bitterly.

My father stared at me for a moment, then leaned forward a little on the bed. He began to say something, but his words broke into a rasping cough. He put the handkerchief in front of his mouth and coughed into it. He coughed a long time, and I lay still and watched him. When he stopped, he took off his spectacles and wiped his eyes. He put the spectacles back on and took a deep breath.

'I caught a cold,' he apologized. 'There was a draft in the classroom yesterday. I told the janitor, but he told me he could not find anything wrong. So I caught a cold. In June yet. Only your father catches colds in June.'

'You're not taking care of yourself, abba.'

'I am worried about my baseball player: He smiled at me. 'I worry all the time you will get hit by a taxi or a trolley car, and you go and get hit by a basebalclass="underline" 'I hate that Danny Saunders for this. He's making you sick.'

'Danny Saunders is making me sick? How is he making me sick?'

'He deliberately aimed at me, abba. He hit me deliberately. Now you're getting sick worrying about me.'

My father looked at me in amazement. 'He hit you deliberately?'

'You should see how he hits. He almost killed Schwartzie. He said his team would kill us apikorsim.'

'Apikorsim?'

'They turned the game into a war.'

'I do not understand. On the telephone Reb Saunders said' his son was sorry.'

'Sorry! I'll bet he's sorry I He's sorry he didn't kill me altogether!'

My father gazed at me intently, his eyes narrowing. I saw the look of amazement slowly leave his face.

'I do not like you to talk that way,' he said sternly.

'It's true, abba.' \ 'Did you ask him if it was deliberate?'

'No.'

'How can you say something like that if you are not sure? That is a terrible thing to say.' He was controlling his anger with difficulty.

'It seemed to be deliberate.'

'Things are always what they seem to be, Reuven? Since when?'

I was silent.

'I do not want to hear you say, that again about Reb Saunders' son.'

'Yes, abba.'

'Now, I brought you this.' He undid the newspapers around the package, and I saw it was our portable radio. 'Just because you are in the hospital does not mean you should shut yourself off from the world. It is expected Rome will fall any day now. And there are rumors the invasion of Europe will be very soon: You should not forget there is a world outside.'

'I'll have to do my schoolwork, abba. I'll have to keep up with my classes.'

'No schoolwork, no books, and no newspapers. They told me you are not allowed to read.'

'I can't read at all?'

'No reading. So I brought you the radio. Very 'important things are happening, Reuven, and a radio is a blessing.' '

He'put the radio on the night table. A radio brought the world together, he said very often. Anything that brought the world together he called a blessing.

'Now, your schoolwork,' he said. 'I talked with your teachers. If you cannot prepare in time for your examinations, they will give them to you privately at the end of June or in September. So you do not have to worry.'

'If I'm' out of the hospital in a few days, I'll be able to read soon.'

'We will see. We have to find out first about the scar tissue;' I felt myself frightened again. 'Will it take long to find out?'

'A week or two.'

'I can't read for two weeks?'

'We will ask Doctor Snydman when you leave the hospital. But no reading now.'

'Yes, abba.'

'Now I have to go,' my father said. "He put his hat on, folded the newspaper and put it under his arm. He coughed again, briefly this time, and stood up. 'I have to prepare examinations, and I must finish an article. The journal gave me a deadline.' He looked down at me and smiled, a little nervously, I thought. He seemed so pale and thin.

'Please take care of yourself, abba. Don't get sick.'

'I will take care of myself. You will rest. And listen to the radio.'

'Yes, abba.'

He looked at me, and I saw him blink his eyes behind his steelrimmed spectacles. 'You are not a baby anymore. I hope -' He broke off. I thought I saw his eyes begin to mist and his lips tremble for a moment.

Billy's father said something to the boy, and the boy laughed loudly. I saw my father glance at them briefly, then look back at me. Then I saw him turn his head and look at them again. He looked at them a long time. Then he turned back to me. I saw from his face that he knew Billy was blind.

'I brought you your tefillin and prayer book,' he said very quietly. His voice was husky, and it trembled. 'If they tell you it is all right, you should pray with your tefillin. But only if they tell you it is all right and will not be harmful to your head or your eye.' He stopped for a moment to clear his throat. 'It is a bad cold, but I will be all right. If you cannot pray with your tefillin, pray anyway. Now I have to go.' He bent and kissed me on the forehead. As he came close to me, I saw his eyes were red and misty. 'My baseball player.' he said, trying to smile. 'Take care of yourself and rest. I will be back to see you tomorrow.' He turned and walked quickly away up the aisle, small and thin, but walking with a straight, strong step the way he always walked no matter how he felt. Then he was out of focus and· I could no longer see him.