His voice stormed the silence. I found myself bolding my breath, my heart thumping in my ears. I could not take my eyes off his face, which was alive now, or his eyes, which were open and filled with dark fire. He struck the table with his hand, and I felt myself go cold with fright. Danny was watching him now, too, and his little brother stared at him as though in a trance, his mouth open, his eyes glazed.
'The world kills us! The world flays our skin from our bodies and throws us to the flames I The world laughs at Torah! And if it does not kill us, it tempts us! It misleads us! It contaminates us! The world is Amalek! It is not the world that is commanded to study Torah, but the people of Israel! Listen, listen to this mighty teaching: His voice was suddenly lower, quieter, intimate. 'It is written, "This world is like a vestibule before the world to-come; prepare thyself in the vestibule, that thou mayest enter into the hall." The meaning is clear: The vestibule is this world, and the hall is the world-to-come. Listen. In gematriya, the words "this world" come out one hundred sixty-three, and the words "the-world-to-come" come out one hundred fifty-four. The difference between "this world" and the "the world-to-com,' comes out to nine. Nine is half of eighteen. Eighteen is chai, life. In this world there is only half of chai. We are only half alive in this world! Only half alive!'
A whisper went through the crowd at the tables, and I could see heads nod and lips smile. They had been waiting for this apparently, the gematriya, and they strained forward to listen. One of my teachers in school had told me about gematriya. Each letter of the Hebrew alphabet is also a number, so that every Hebrew word has a numerical value. The words for 'this world' in Hebrew is 'olam hazeh', and by adding the numerical value of each letter, the total numerical value of the word becomes one hundred and sixty-three. I had heard others do this before, and I enjoyed listening because sometimes they were quite clever and ingenious… I was beginning to feel relaxed again, and I listened carefully.
'Hear me now. Listen. How can we make our lives full? How can we fill our lives so that we are eighteen, chai, and not nine, not half chai? Rabbi Joshua son of Levi teaches us, "Whoever does not labor in the Torah is said to be under the divine censure." He is a nozuf, a person whom the Master of the Universe hates! A righteous man, a tzaddik, studies Torah, for it is written, "For his delight is in the Torah of God, and over His Torah doth he meditate day and night." In gematriya, "nozuf" comes out one hundred forty-three, and "tzaddik" comes out two hundred and four. What is the difference between "nozuf" and "tzaddik"? Sixty-one. To whom does a tzaddik dedicate his life? To the Master of the Universe! La-el, to God! The word, "La-el" in gematriya is sixty-one! It is a life dedicated to God that makes the difference between the nozuf and the tzaddik!'
Another murmur of approval went through the crowd. Reb Saunders was very good at gematriya, I thought. I was really enjoying myself now.
'And now listen to me further. In gematriya, the letter of the word "traklin", hall, the hall that refers to the world-to-come comes out three hundred ninety-nine, and "prozdor", the vestibule, the vestibule that is this world, comes out five hundred thirteen. Take "prozdor" from "traklin", and we have one Aundred fourteen. Now listen to me. A righteous man, we said, is two hundred four. A righteous man lives by Torah. Torah is mayim, water; the great and holy rabbis always compare Torah to water. The word "mayim" in gematriya is ninety. Take "mayim" from" tzaddik" and we also have one hundred fourteen. From this we learn that the righteous man who removes himself from Torah also removes himself from the world-to-come! '
The whisper of delight was loud this time, and men nodded their heads and smiled. Some of them were even poking each other with their elbows to indicate their pleasure. That one had really been clever. I started to go over it again in my mind.
'We see that without Torah there is only half a life. We see that without Torah we are dust. We see that without Torah we are abominations.' He was saying this quietly, almost as if it were a litany. His eyes were still open, and he was looking directly at Danny now. 'When we study Torah, then the Master of the Universe listens. Then he hears our words. Then He will fulfill our wishes. For the Master of the Universe promises strength to them who preoccupy themselves in Torah, as it is written, "So ye may be strong", and He promises length of days, as it is written. "So that your days may be lengthened." May Torah be a fountain of waters to all who drink from it, and may it bring to us the Messiah speedily and in our day. Amen!'
A chorus of loud and scattered amens answered.
I sat in my seat and saw Reb Saunders looking at Danny, then at me. I felt completely at ease, and I somewhat brazenly smiled and nodded, as if to indicate that I had enjoyed his words, or at least the gematriya part of his words. I didn't agree at all with his notions of the world as being contaminated. Albert Einstein is part of the world, I told myself. President Roosevelt is part of the world. The millions of soldiers fighting Hitler are part of the world.
I thought that the meal was ended now and we would start the Evening Service, and I almost began to get out of my seat when I realized that another silence had settled upon the men at the tables. I sat still and looked around. They seemed all to be staring at Danny. He was Sitting quietly, smiling a little, his fingers playing with the edge of his paper plate.
Reb Saunders sat back in his leather chair and folded his arms across his chest. The little' boy was poking at the tomato again and glancing at Danny from the tops of his dark eyes. He twirled a side curl around one of his fingers, and I saw his tongue dart out of his mouth, run over his lips, then dart back in. I wondered what was going on.
Reb Saunders sighed loudly and nodded at Danny, 'Nu, Daniel. you have something to say?' His voice was quiet, almost gentle.
I Saw Danny nod his head.
'Nu, what is it?'
'It is written in the name of Rabbi Yaakov, not Rabbi Meir;' Danny said quietly, in Yiddish. '
A whisper of approval came from the crowd. I glanced around quickly. Everyone sat staring at Danny.
Reb Saunders almost smiled. He nodded, and the long black beard went back and forth against his chest. Then I saw the thick black eyebrows arch upward and the lids go about halfway down across the eyes. He leaned forward slightly, his arms still folded across his chest.
'And nothing more?' he asked very quietly.
Danny shook his head – a little hesitantly, I thought.
'So Reb Saunders said, sitting back in the leather chair, 'there is nothing more.'
I looked at the two of them, wondering what was happening.
What was this about Rabbi Yaakov and Rabbi Melr?
'The words were said by Rabbi Yaakov, not by Rabbi Melr,' Danny repeated. 'Rabbi Yaakov, not Rabbi Melr, said, "He who is walking by the way and studying, and breaks off his study and-'"
'Good,' Reb Saunders brokein quietly. 'The words were said by Ray Yaakov. Good. You saw it. Very good. And where is it found?'
'In Pil'ltei Avos,' Danny said. He was giving the Talmudic source for the quote. Many of the quotes Reb Saunders had used had been from Pirkei Avos – or Avot, as my father had taught me to pronounce it, with the Sephardic rather than the Ashkenazic rendering of the Hebrew letter 'tof'. I had recognized the quotes easily. Pirkei Avot is a collection of Rabbinic maxims, and a chapter of it is studied by many Jews every Shabbat between Passover and the Jewish New Year.