“Do you think he’d like this better?” Donna now inquired. She held up a cupless red-leather corset lined with gold zippers and pin-stitches.
“It looks like something Marquis de Sade would want his women to wear,” Vera pointed out. “Stick with the camisole. It’s obscene but at least it’s elegant.”
“You’re such a prude, Vera,” Donna laughed. “It’s the nineteen nineties, not the eighteen nineties. You really should lighten up. Cut loose a little.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You’re married, you have someone to cut loose with.”
“You don’t have to be married to have a little fun. You’re a free woman now, Vera. Take advantage of it.” Donna adjusted the little black bow at the camisole’s bosom, eyeing herself more closely in the mirror. “You’re too reserved, you know that? What you ought to do, Vera, is just pick up a guy and have a down-and-dirty one night stand.”
“Just pick up a guy, huh?” Vera didn’t know whether to laugh or smirk. “I can see me now, driving into downtown Waynesville in a brand-new Lamborghini, then pulling up a stool at the ever-sophisticated Waterin’ Hole, and putting the make on hayseeds.”
“What an awful stereotype,” Donna remarked. Now she was adjusting the frilled hem, which descended about two millimeters past her crotch. “There’re probably some nice guys down there—so what if they’re not stockbrokers? And of course”—Donna’s reflection grinned back—“there’s always Kyle.”
Vera wanted to shout. “The other day you were telling me to stay away from him, now you’re saying that I should—”
“I meant that you should be careful around him, Vera. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. What’s the harm?”
“He’s conceited, arrogant, malicious,” Vera reeled off, “shifty, two-faced, self-centered—”
“And cute,” Donna reminded. “Admit it, Vera. You’re attracted to the guy.”
“I am n—” Her next acknowledgement fell like an ax on her words. Talk about hypocrites, she scolded herself. Last night I was actually hoping that he’d…What? Make love to me? She mustn’t lie to herself. I wanted him to screw the daylights out of me. “Well, sure, I’m attracted to him,” she then admitted. She didn’t dare tell Donna about late-night swim and back rub; that would only make her sound more hypocritical. “But I just can’t ever picture me getting involved with someone like Kyle.”
“You are so hard-headed I can’t believe it,” Donna nearly exclaimed. “I’m not telling you to get involved with him, for God’s sake. But that doesn’t mean you can’t go a couple of rounds with him, you know.”
“I’m not into sex for the sake of sex.” But how honest a comment was that, considering her fantasies, her dreams, and what she’d wished had taken place last night? She’d always believed that sex was something that should only happen between two people who loved each other, or at least had feelings for each other. But now?
“Vera, Mother Nature gave you a sex drive for a reason.”
“Yeah, to have babies, and I’m not ready to have babies.”
“That’s why Father Pharmacy invented the pill. You’re supposed to want to have sex, it’s human nature. It’s unhealthy to repress your natural desires, and I certainly don’t see anything wrong with a little harmless no-strings fooling around. And can I say something, as a friend?”
“Of course,” Vera said.
“You’re not going to get mad, right? You’re not going to be offended?”
“I’m not going to be offended. What, I have bad breath?”
“No, but sometimes you’re in a bad mood.”
Vera’s mouth screwed up in speculation. “What do you mean?”
“What I mean is, since we’ve come here, you’ve been a little bitchy, that’s all.”
“Thanks,” Vera said.
“See, I knew you’d be offended.”
“I’m really bitchy?” Vera asked.
“Well, sometimes, and you were never that way before. I think it’s probably stress-related, sexual stress.”
“Come on.” Well, there had been some occasions when she’d gotten down on Dan B. and Lee for horsing around with the gross jokes. And maybe once or twice she had been a little snippy with Donna for not memorizing the wine list and specials. But that was her job. She was their boss.
Or maybe Donna’s right, she considered now. Maybe I have been a little hard on them sometimes. Maybe I have taken some things out on them. “In other words, you saying that I’m in a bad mood because I’m not getting laid regularly?”
“Well…yeah,” Donna answered. “I don’t know how you stand it. If I don’t get it twice a night, I turn into the biggest bitch this side of the Mason-Dixon line.” Now Donna was dabbing herself with perfume. “Remember when Dan B. went to that east coast chef’s convention in Chicago last fall? I was climbing the walls. You should’ve seen how much I spent on batteries for my vibrator.”
“Donna!” Vera exclaimed. “You don’t have a v—”
“Sure, I do, several, as a matter of fact.” Now Donna was applying some final touches, donning a thin gold waist chain and an ankle bracelet. “Boy, was this a bad subject. Look, Vera, all I’m saying is that a couple of rolls in the hay would do you good. Trust me. And Kyle seems a pretty good candidate. Who knows. Maybe he’s hung.”
“Donna!” Vera exclaimed again. “Why don’t you skedaddle now?” Donna requested. “Dan B.’s going to be coming up soon. I want to be ready for him.” Then she turned, placing her hands on her hips as if frustrated. “And I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“I’m not offended, Donna,” Vera said, and headed for the door. And she honestly wasn’t. It was good to have a friend who’d point things out to her, especially things about herself. “And thanks for the book.”
“You’re not going to take my advice, are you?”
“What, hunt Kyle down and ball his brains out? No.”
“Okay, then. Suit yourself. Any time you want to borrow one of my vibrators, just let me know.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I would never—”
“Sure, I know… Say, I hate to sound rude, but—”
“I’m going,” Vera assured her, rolling her eyes. “Don’t wear Dan B. out tonight. We have six reservations tomorrow.”
Donna said good night and closed the door. Yeah, she’s in a hurry, all right, Vera thought. Romantic enthusiasm was one thing, but this was romantic fervor.
I guess I’m just envious, Vera considered. Her own bedroom felt expanded in its plush, well-furnished emptiness. She skipped the usual nightcap or two that she’d grown accustomed to before bed, and took a quick shower instead of a bubble bath. Suddenly she felt desperate for something to divert her. She sat up in bed, turned on her reading lamp, and opened the book…
The Complete Compendium of Haunted American Mansions
by
Richard Long
“I hope the author’s friends don’t call him Dick,” she muttered. She skimmed down the table of contents. The Night Walker: The Hammond-Harwood House. Basement of Nightmares: Suit Manor. The House on the Hilclass="underline" The Dipietro Manse of Screams.
Even the titles were silly. Vera didn’t know how she was going to take this seriously. Then: