“I've just about come to the same conclusion.”
His eyes gleamed then, and his old smile appeared. He ran one hand through his straw-colored hair and wouldn't let go of my eyes.
“Are you going to do it?” he asked.
“Maybe,” I said.
“Don't 'maybe' me, baby. It's written all over you. I'd almost be willing to go along, you know. Of all my relations, I like sex the best and Eric the least.”
I lit a cigarette, while I considered.
“You're thinking,” he said while I thought, “'How far can I trust Random this time? He is sneaky and mean and just like his name, and he will doubtless sell me out If someone offers him a better deal. ' True?”
I nodded.
“However, brother Corwin, remember that while I've never done you much good, I've never done you any especial harm either. Oh, a few pranks, I'll admit. But, all in all, you might say we've gotten along best of all in the family-that is, we've stayed out of each other's ways. Think it over. I believe I hear Flora or her woman coming now, so let's change the subject... But quick I don't suppose you have a deck of the family's favorite playing cards around, do you?”
I shook my head.
Flora entered the room and said, “Carmella will bring in some food shortly.”
We drank to that, and he winked at me behind her back.
The following morning, the bodies were gone from the living room, there were no stains upon the carpet, the window appeared to have been repaired, and Random explained that he had “taken care of things.” I did not see fit to question him further.
We borrowed Flora's Mercedes and went for a drive. The countryside seemed strangely altered. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was that was missing or new, but somehow things felt different. This, too, gave me a headache when I attempted to consider it, so I decided to suspend such thinking for the nonce.
I was at the wheel, Random at my side. I observed that I would like to be back in Amber again-just to see what sort of response it would obtain.
“I have been wondering,” he replied, “whether you were out for vengeance, pure and simple, or something more,” thereby shifting the ball back to me, to answer or not to answer, as I saw fit.
I saw fit. I used the stock phrase:
“I've been thinking about that, too,” I said, “trying to figure my chances. You know, I just might 'try. '“
He turned toward me then (he had been staring out of the side window) and said:
“I suppose we've all had that ambition, or at least that thought-I know I have, though I dismissed me early in the game-and the way I feel about it, it's worth the attempt. You're asking me, I know, whether I'll help you. The answer is 'yes. ' I'll do it just to screw up the others.” Then, “What do you think of Flora? Would she be of any help?”
“I doubt it very much,” I said. “She'd throw in if things were certain. But, then, what's certain at this point?”
“Or any,” he added.
“Or any,” I repeated, so he'd think I knew what sort of response I would obtain.
I was afraid to confide in him as to the condition of my memory. I was also afraid to tell him, so I didn't. There were so very many things I wanted to know, but I had no one to turn to. I thought about it a bit as we drove along.
“Well, when do you want to start?” I asked.
“Whenever you're ready.”
And there it was, right in my lap, and I didn't know what to do with it.
“What about now?” I said.
He was silent. He lit a cigarette, I think to buy time.
I did the same.
“Okay,” he finally said. “When's the last time you've been back?”
“It's been so damn long,” I told him, “that I'm not even sure I remember the way.”
“All right,” he said, “then we're going to have to go away before we can come back. How much gas have you got?”
“Three-quarters of a tank.”
“Then turn left at the next corner, and we'll see what happens.”
I did this thing, and as we drove along all the sidewalks began to sparkle.
“Damn!” he said. “It's been around twenty years since I've taken the walk. I'm remembering the right things too soon.”
We kept driving, and I kept wondering what the hell was happening. The sky had grown a bit greenish, then shaded over into pink.
I bit my lip against the asking of questions.
We passed beneath a bridge and when we emerged on the other side the sky was a normal color again, but there were windmills all over the place, big yellow ones.
“Don't worry,” he said quickly, “it could be worse.” I noticed that the people we passed were dressed rather strangely, and the roadway was of brick.
“Turn right”
I did.
Purple clouds covered over the sun, and it began to rain. Lightning stalked the heavens and the skies grumbled above us. I had the windshield wipers going full speed, but they weren't doing a whole lot of good. I turned on the headlights and slowed even more.
I would have sworn I'd passed a horseman, racing in the other direction, dressed all in gray, collar turned high and head lowered against the rain.
Then the clouds broke themselves apart and we were riding along a seashore. The waves splashed high and enormous gulls swept low above them. The rain had stopped and I killed the lights and the wipers. Now the road was of macadam, but I didn't recognize the place at all. In the rear-view mirror there was no sign of the town we had just departed. My grip tightened upon the wheel as we passed by a sudden gallows where a skeleton was suspended by the neck, pushed from side to side by the wind.
Random just kept smoking and staring out of the window as our road turned away from the shore and curved round a hill. A grassy treeless plain swept away to our right and a row of hills climbed higher on our left. The sky by now was a dark but brilliant blue, like a deep, clear pool, sheltered and shaded. I did not recall having ever seen a sky like that before.
Random opened his window to throw away the butt, and an icy breeze came in and swirled around inside the car until he closed the window again. The breeze had a sea scent to it, salty and sharp.
“All roads lead to Amber,” he said, as though it were an axiom.
Then I recalled what Flora had said the day before. I didn't want to sound like a dunce or a withholder of crucial information, but I had to tell him, for my sake as well as his own, when I realized what her statements implied.
“You know,” I began, “when you called the other day and I answered the phone because Flora was out, I've a strong feeling she was trying to make it to Amber, and that she found the way blocked.”
At this, he laughed.
“The woman has very little imagination,” he replied. “Of course it would be blocked at a time like this. Ultimately, we'll be reduced to walking, I'm sure, and it will doubtless take all of our strength and ingenuity to make it, if we make it at all. Did she think she could walk back like a princess in state, treading on flowers the whole way? She's a dumb bitch. She doesn't really deserve to live, but that's not for me to say, yet.”
“Turn right at the crossroads,” he decided.
What was happening? I knew he was in some way responsible for the exotic changes going on about us, but I couldn't determine how he was doing it, where he was getting us to. I knew I had to learn his secret, but I couldn't just ask him or he'd know I didn't know. Then I'd be at his mercy. He seemed to do nothing but smoke and stare, but coming up out of a dip in the road we entered a blue desert and the sun was now pink above our heads within the shimmering sky. In the rear-view mirror, miles and miles of desert stretched out behind us, for as far as I could see. Neat trick, that.