All this time, he had suppressed the connection between the date of Susan’s death and another event that had changed his life.
He closed his eyes again and recalled Susan’s excitement about her audition with Frank Parker. She always said she liked to feel calm and focused before a performance, trying to channel her character. If a fight with Nicole had forced her from her dorm room at six, that gave her at least forty-five minutes to calm herself down. If she had needed another place to feel calm and safe, Dwight knew exactly where Susan would have gone. And he knew exactly what she would have heard when she got there.
His skin felt hot. He stood up and started pacing in the boat’s cabin. He was having a hard time controlling his own breathing. He needed his own safe place now. He needed to be in the water.
But he also wanted to get his thoughts out. His plan had worked: he finally believed he knew who had killed Susan.
He pulled up Laurie’s number on his cell and hit ENTER. “You’ve reached Laurie Moran…”
“Call me ASAP,” he said at the tone. “I need to talk to you.”
He was so focused on leaving a message that he did not hear the footsteps on the deck.
60
Gavin led his wife to the sofa and held her hand protectively. “I’m here for you,” he whispered. “Always. No matter what. If there’s anybody you’re afraid of, I’ll protect you.”
Nicole spoke quickly, focusing on some random spot in the distance. “The fight with Susan was about Advocates for God. I’d been a member of the church for months, and Susan didn’t approve. She said they were crooks, that they used religion to bilk people of their money. She said I was getting brainwashed. And it didn’t help that I was… in a relationship with Martin Collins. I thought he was the most generous, inspiring person. I thought I was in love with him, but I was so young and impressionable.”
The moment was disrupted by the buzz of Laurie’s phone. Laurie fumbled in her purse and glanced at the screen. It was Dwight Cook. She did not want to interrupt Nicole, so she hit the REJECT CALL button. “If you’d been with the church for months,” Laurie said, “why did you fight about it that day?”
“The argument was about Susan’s boyfriend, Keith. I took him to a new-member party. Susan was furious, saying I was out to convert him. The fight was as bad as Alex described earlier-even worse. I felt attacked. I threw a book at her. I can’t believe that’s the last time we saw each other.” She dropped her head into her hands.
“You realize, Nicole, that some people might not believe that. If Susan was threatening to kick you out of the dorm-”
“No, she never would have done that. It was an ugly fight, but honestly, I think she only snapped at me because of the culmination of everything at once: the audition and her agent leaving for Arizona because of his mom’s heart attack, and she was harried, rummaging through her drawers in a mad search for her lucky necklace. I walked in, and she lashed out at me about taking Keith to an AG event. I think it was just the icing on the cake. We would have been fine. And I would certainly never have hurt Susan.”
Something about Nicole’s version of the argument was bothering Laurie. “You say you wound up at O’Malley’s drinking too much. If it wasn’t truly a blowout, why were you so upset?”
“After Susan stormed out, I walked to Martin’s to vent about our argument. Whenever I was with Martin, he had this way of making it all seem okay.” She whispered to Gavin, “I’m so sorry I never told you, please forgive me,” before continuing. “When I got to his house, the lights were on, and his car was in the driveway. He didn’t answer the door, so I just walked in, assuming he couldn’t hear me knocking. When I got to his bedroom-”
Her voice broke, and she started to shake. Gavin pulled her close and told her that everything was going to be all right. “These secrets are torturing you, Nicole.”
“When I walked into his bedroom, he was with a little girl. My gosh, she couldn’t have been more than ten. They were… in the bed. I ran from the house, but he caught up to me in the driveway. He told me if I ever breathed a word of what I’d seen, he would kill me. And not just me. The girl, too. He threatened to kill anyone I loved-my parents, my friends. He said he could find me forty years later and kill my children and grandchildren. And I could tell he meant it. I think he would have killed me on the spot if that little girl hadn’t been there to witness it.”
“And you never said a word to anyone?” Laurie asked.
Nicole shook her head and then looked down, sobbing into her hands. “You have no idea how much guilt I’ve carried. Every time I see him on television, I feel nauseous, wondering how many others he has victimized. I was tempted so many times to tell you, Gavin, but I was ashamed. And afraid for both of us. And I had no idea who the child was, and no proof. Martin is powerful. At the very least, he would get other church members to say I was crazy. And I didn’t doubt for a second his ability to carry out his threats. It’s why I was always afraid to have children, Gavin. I didn’t want to spend every moment terrified about Martin coming after them.”
Laurie knew the fear of knowing that someone wanted to hurt your child. “Do you think Martin had something to do with Susan’s death?” Laurie asked.
“I’m sure he’s capable of murder,” Nicole said. “But he had no reason to harm Susan, and I saw him at his house that night with my own eyes.”
“But if Martin found out you were doing our show,” Laurie said, “he’d worry that you might end up saying too much about the past.”
Nicole wiped away a tear. “Yes, that’s how he operates. He’s insular and deeply paranoid. That’s why I’ve kept such a low profile all these years. The thought of me on television, talking about my days at UCLA? He would have gone nuclear. That man in the picture is probably one of Martin’s henchmen, sent to shut down your show.”
Laurie was having a hard time processing the new information. She had been so certain that if they found the person who attacked Lydia and Jerry, they’d also find Susan’s killer. And there was still something nagging at Laurie about Nicole’s description of her argument with Susan that afternoon.
Alex had been quietly allowing Nicole to answer Laurie’s questions. Now he spoke up. “Let’s talk about Keith Ratner. We know he’s still active in the church. He knew who the other show participants were. He probably told Martin that Nicole had signed on to appear. Then Martin could have asked Steve Roman to keep an eye on her, which could have led Roman to Rosemary’s neighborhood. You two see each other, right?”
“Yes,” Nicole said excitedly, “that’s it! Rosemary came to my house the day before Lydia was killed. This man could have followed her from there.”
“Our best shot at finding anything on Martin would be to go through Keith Ratner,” Laurie said.
Dwight Cook and Richard Hathaway were supposed to be coming to the house for their interviews in the morning, but their scenes would be short. Laurie pulled her phone from her purse. Ignoring the alert of the missed call from Dwight, she composed a text to Keith, reading aloud as she typed with her thumbs. Thanks for all the help today. I hate to tell you this, but a technical glitch swallowed up some of the footage. Any chance you can reshoot the part about your bookstore alibi in the morning? I promise it won’t take long. -Laurie
She hit the ENTER key and breathed a sigh of relief when he immediately texted back: No problem. Just tell me the time.
Great, thanks. Be sure to wear the same shirt.
“Add a smiley face for good measure,” Alex suggested, reading over her shoulder.