James Craig
The Circus
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
The closer you get, the more you smell the shit.
ONE
At least it wasn’t raining.
Buttoning up his jacket against the evening chill, Duncan Brown fired up a Rothmans King Size and took a long hard drag that made his eyes water. Coughing, he stepped off the pavement, still holding in the smoke. Standing in the middle of the empty street, he pawed at the tarmac with the toe of his shoe before turning back to face the small theatre that he had just slipped out of in order to enjoy a crafty fag.
He smiled to himself: couldn’t even wait for the interval! This was his second packet of the day. Wasn’t he supposed to be giving up?
Finishing his cigarette, he flicked the stub towards the gutter and lit another one. The second smoke never tasted as good, but it was good enough. Inhaling, he scanned the poster for the show that his girlfriend had dragged him along to see. A beguiling blend of puppetry, animation, music and live action. . claimed the blurb.
Beguiling?
Uh-huh.
Flicking some ash on to the ground, Duncan blew a plume of smoke into the orange night sky. Fucking puppets? How old was he to be watching a puppet show? Gemma had said this show had been a hit at the Edinburgh Festival. ‘Well,’ he mumbled to himself, ‘who gives a monkey’s about that? This isn’t the bloody provinces.’ He glanced enviously towards the Grapes of Wrath on the corner of the street, seventy yards away. He could see the flickering TV screen hanging from the ceiling — they would doubtless be showing the Arsenal game. He wondered about heading over there, ordering a pint of London Pride and catching what was left of the second half. It was very tempting. On the other hand, Gemma would be more than pissed off if he did a runner now. Tonight was supposed to be their ‘quality time’ for the week, and therefore they were watching a one-man puppet show. What did that say about their relationship?
A loud collective groan from the pub was followed seconds later by an electronic chirp from his pocket. Grabbing his mobile, he opened the text message to confirm what he already knew: the Gunners had gone a goal down to some bunch of erstwhile no-hopers. They were playing at home, too. Finishing his second smoke, Duncan shook his head. At least he wasn’t missing much. The mood at the Emirates had been ugly for some time and he could imagine the waves of frustration and bile rolling round the stadium as the team huffed and puffed to no great effect. Imagine paying a grand a season to watch that kind of crap. The manager’s on borrowed time, Duncan thought, just like I am if I don’t get back inside that bloody theatre sharpish.
Deleting the text, he felt the phone start vibrating while still in his hand. There was no number on the screen but he had a good idea who it was. He lifted the phone to his ear. ‘Yeah?’
‘Where are you?’ The voice on the other end of the line sounded bored and annoyed at the same time.
‘Out and about.’ Duncan stepped back up on to the pavement to let a car slide past. ‘What have you got?’
‘We need to meet.’ The source sounded like he was in a pub himself as, in the background, the commentary to the Arsenal game was clearly audible.
Duncan let out a heavy sigh. All this cloak-and-dagger bullshit was pissing him off, big time. In terms of actual column inches generated, it was proving to be a total waste of effort. ‘Why?’
‘There have been some developments,’ the source went on.
‘Like what?’ he asked, not bothering to hide his growing exasperation.
‘I can’t talk over the phone. It has to be face to face.’
‘Okay, okay.’ Duncan scratched his head. He wasn’t in the market for a story right now. Tomorrow was deadline day and he was sorted for Sunday’s paper. It was officially the silly season for stories, and his interview with a newlywed who saw her husband devoured by a shark might even make the front page. ‘I can still hear his screams in my sleep,’ she’d sobbed. The shark had never been caught. He thought about his byline under a 72-point HONEYMOON HORROR headline and smiled; it was the best piece he’d had for ages. ‘How about early next week?’
‘Nah, needs to be tonight.’
There was another groan from inside the pub.
‘I’m busy.’
There was a pause. On the commentary, audible over the phone, he made out the phrases ‘horror tackle’ and ‘red card’.
‘It has to be tonight,’ said the source finally, not raising his voice, thus leaving Duncan straining to hear over the background noise. ‘The police have been forced to re-open their investigation into the newspaper.’
‘Don’t we know it,’ said Duncan wearily. It had taken him the best part of two days to delete all his emails and shred every potentially incriminating scrap of paper. He seriously doubted that would be enough, if he came under close scrutiny, but it was a start.
‘Some plod from Nottinghamshire is now in charge.’ A sly chuckle.
‘Why Nottinghamshire?’
‘Why not? It was always going to be someone far removed from events in London. A fresh pair of eyes; an independent perspective. Apparently they don’t have any phones worth hacking up there.’
‘That doesn’t surprise me.’
‘Anyway, your name has come up.’
Duncan felt a spasm in his bowels. ‘What?’
‘They’re on to you.’
Fuck, fuck, fuck. . Duncan thought about how much he had come to hate his shitty job in the last few months.
‘We need to get your story straight.’
‘Yeah, yeah.’ He glanced back towards the theatre; it must be time for the interval, surely. Gemma would kill him, but he would have to deal with that later. ‘Do you know a pub called the Grapes of Wrath? It’s on the corner of Harp Street and-’
‘Too public.’
‘For fuck’s sake. .’
There was a pause at the other end of the line. Then: ‘Where are you right now?’
‘Okay.’ Duncan gave him the name of the street. ‘I’m standing outside the Cockpit Arts Theatre.’
‘Where’s that?’
Duncan provided some perfunctory directions.
‘Wait there. I won’t be long.’
Standing with his back to the bar, the source watched the journalist end their call and light up another cigarette. You look stressed, he thought. Like a man not in any way in control of events.
Around him the pub was rapidly emptying as the game reached its final minutes. A couple of feet away, a trio of facsimile fans in replica shirts were moaning loudly about their team’s various shortcomings. Their frustration and angst were clearly genuine. Why did grown men allow themselves to get so wound up about football? It wasn’t as if they could actually do anything to influence the result. The whole thing was beyond him. Anyway, if winning was all that mattered they should support one of the financially doped teams, like Manchester City or Arsenal. Money had totally fucked the game. If you couldn’t see that, you were a mug.
Finishing his Grey Goose vodka, he headed for the door, glancing up at the screen just in time to see Arsenal concede a second goal. They were dead and buried now, and fans inside the stadium were streaming for the exits. Aside from the odd curse, the mood in the pub was suitably funereal. To add insult to injury, the television replays showed that the latest goal had been well offside. Some of the supporters at the bar gestured at the screen angrily; one of them started a chorus of the popular terrace lament ‘The referee’s a wanker’, but he found no takers among his fellows and the words quickly died in his throat.