One night I was lying on the floor playing video games.
One of those games where you just run around and shoot people.
Those are my favorite.
Well.
Billy Jean came home from work and brought this guy with her.
His name was Nate.
I knew him from the strip joint.
Nicest person.
Very gentlemanly.
Total cokehead and drunk.
But still a great person.
I knew what was going to happen next.
Billy Jean wanted to have sex with him.
I had no problem with that.
But I really didn’t feel like watching.
I had already gotten off that night to some pics on the computer.
I knew Nate was sad, miserable, and heartbroken.
He had just gotten over a divorce and worked fifty hours a week as a construction worker.
So his life wasn’t easy.
I went to the bedroom and read a book about Youngstown.
I heard them flirt out there and heard the noises of sweet sad sex.
I had to go to the bathroom and had to walk through the living room and saw them.
Nate was on top of her slowly fucking her.
He was imagining romance and love.
I had been there before and still was a lot of times when I had sex with Billy Jean.
I stood there for a while just looking.
As I watched them have sex I realized that depraved sex is just one of the activities we do to escape this shit-pool of lies and cheap labor.
Tah Dah.
CIVILIZATION
A man or woman way back in the day.
Stood next to the Euphrates.
Looking at the water.
Thinking, because there was a problem.
There was a food shortage.
The tribe was going to die.
The person stood and thought for hours.
It was a hot day in spring.
The person looked around and noticed and realized that where they shit, the plants they liked to eat grew strangely all in one place.
The person started digging around in the shit and saw that the plants were popping out of the little round pieces of shit.
So the person grabbed a bunch of seeds and ran back to the tribe and yelled, “Look, these are what make our food, these things.”
They stared at him like an asshole.
“No, I’m serious. These little things go in the ground, and then our food comes up after the cold part of the year.”
A person of the tribe said, “Shut the fuck up! Are you stupid, the Turtle God Dingy Baka makes the food grow after we pee in the holy puddle.”
“No, I really think these little things make our food grow.”
“Whatever, you plant those stupid little things on your own fucking time. But if it makes Dingy Baka mad, we are going to kill you. You got that motherfucker!”
“All right, all right.”
So the person planted a bunch of the same little things that were near the plants the tribe ate in a single area.
Soon food starting growing.
Eventually they figured out that water helped the plants grow and then later, how to harness animals to help them grow food more efficiently.
*
After many generations.
One man had much more fertile land than the others.
He went to the tribe and said, “I cannot work all my land by myself. I need help, are there any men who have shitty plots that want to leave them and help me work my land?”
Several men said, “Yes, our land is shitty. We will come and work for you.”
The one man with the bountiful piece of land became very powerful, and took control over the tribe.
*
After several generations a man who also had bountiful land went to the tribe and said, “That land that I work is mine, and I want it to go to my son. But I want to ensure it is my son. How do I do that?”
The men talked for several days and concluded, “Pick a woman, and don’t let her leave the house no matter what.”
And that’s what the man did.
He walked amongst the tribal women and chose one.
The father of the woman said, “You can’t just take my daughter, she cooks and makes clothes.”
So the rich man gave some money to the father and took his daughter to his home.
The woman did not understand it.
Women had always been equal with men.
Everyone had always enjoyed the freedom of sex.
But, “Those days are over. We have to worry about our property now,” the man said to the woman.
Eventually cities were built.
Taxes were invented.
And civilization blossomed.
*
Sometimes I get a knife.
And cut little slits in my skin.
Blood drips out.
I rub my finger in it.
Prostitutes always get their eyes cut out.
*
The President came to Youngstown.
He brought the military with him.
The President had the military round up all the ghetto trash, Latinos, and poor white trash.
The military told the people the President was going to give them a present.
So the people happily went.
Thousands stood before the stage waiting for their present.
The President came out and said, “I am tired of you people living here.
“You make America look bad.
“You’re always drunk.
“You’re always fighting.
“A lot of you have taken to Oxy, weed, heroin, Valium, and a good amount crack.
“There are no jobs for you here. Can you not see that?
“Most of the people of Youngstown have left, the smart ones.
“But you have stayed, hoping for a better day.
“Even though you are completely conscious that such a day will never come.
“I’m going to do you all a favor.
“I’m using the Great American Military to relocate you to another area.
“You will be happy where you’re going. I send people there all the time and they never complain again.”
The crowd screamed and hollered.
But The President did not care.
He just walked off the stage like nothing happened.
He didn’t even look at the people.
So the people started walking home to get their stuff and get in their cars.
But the military men said, “Stop, you aren’t going anywhere, you pieces of shit have to walk.”
The trash of Youngstown screamed, “We need our shit to move!”
So the military shot some Youngstown trash.
The people started moving then.
Nobody knew where they were going.
Most were too drunk or high to care.
As they were leaving they could see bulldozers come into town, getting ready to knock over buildings.
They walked for several days.
Some were fed, some were not.
One would think the people of Youngstown would have put up a fight.
But they believed wholeheartedly that The President would lead them somewhere beautiful, like Florida or California.
Weeks passed and it didn’t seem like they were going anywhere.
They figured out they were moving west, but where they did not know.
Around the fourth week, the military stopped feeding them.
They became delirious.
There were no more drugs or booze to be found.
Sometimes they would pass through a town and people would look at them and laugh.
Eventually they were led to a giant hole in the ground.
But they were so tired and hungry by then they didn’t even notice. And walked peacefully into the hole.
Over a hundred thousand humans were in that hole.
They all sat down.
The blacks were down in the hole with their weaves and cornrows.
The poor whites were down there with their mullets and Tweety Bird shirts.