THE BOWERY
In the winter of 2002, I took a trip to New York City.
I was in the Bowery.
It was five in the afternoon.
I was dressed in a cheap leather brown coat.
Had a hooded sweatshirt on with the sleeves popping out from the arms of the coat.
Unshaved.
Had on a cheap stocking cap and blue jeans.
And a pair of worn-out Reeboks.
I had two hundred dollars in my pocket.
I walked into a bar to get a drink.
You can drink all day in New York City because taxis will drive you everywhere.
I liked that about the city.
I had to piss so I went straight to the bathroom.
The bartender saw me and rushed from behind the bar.
He caught up with me and said, “You can’t use the bathroom unless you are going to buy something.”
I looked at him funny.
I was wearing what everybody in Youngstown wears and he thought I was homeless.
Then I became angry.
I said, “I’m gonna buy something. I have to piss.”
Then the bartender gave me a rude look and went back behind the bar.
I clogged the sink with toilet paper and pissed in it.
Then went and sat at the bar.
The bartender came up to me.
I put a fifty on the bar and said, “Give me a Black Velvet and Coke.”
“What’s Black Velvet?” said the bartender.
“It’s whiskey. You got Wild Turkey?”
“No, we don’t have that either.”
“You got Old Grandad?”
“No.”
“Well, I guess I ain’t drinking here.”
I picked up my fifty and left.
About the Author
Noah Cicero grew up in Youngstown, Ohio and later moved to South Korea. He is back in Ohio for now. His novel
GO TO WORK. DO YOUR JOB. CARE FOR YOUR CHILDREN. PAY YOUR BILLS. OBEY THE LAW. BUY PRODUCTS.
will be published by Lazy Fascist in August 2013.