“And neither of us wants to be boring,” I say.
“Being boring is premature death.”
“My brother is boring, he’s Christian Republican, he goes to work and plays golf, that’s all.”
“See, that’s a horrible existence. I hope I always live an exciting life full of intellectual discovery,” Jimmy says.
“I hope I don’t die.”
“You still worried about death.”
“Of course I’m still worried about death.”
“Don’t be, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“I think it is.”
“You think wrong, everything dies, it’s the natural order of things.”
“Once on television I watched an alligator kill a zebra. It seemed horrible, but it’s the most natural thing there is.”
“Maybe it’s natural that we are killing people in Iraq.”
“Maybe it is,” I say.
“What is natural?”
“Anything that is biological.”
“Is war biological.”
“Aggression is biological, so I don’t see why it isn’t.”
“War is natural then, so are we for or against the war?” Jimmy says.
“I suppose we’re still against it,” I say.
“Life is a war, this is just on a bigger scale.”
“Perhaps.”
“Maybe we should enlist.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Why not, we could get to kill some Arabs.”
“Well, when you put it like that.”
“Yeah, it would be great, you and I out there in the desert getting shot at, shooting at people, killing them dead. Then staring at their dead bodies in the sand. Oh, it would be great.”
“Yeah, that sounds so fun, killing people and looking at them dead lying in the sand.”
“Oh, we would have a great time,” Jimmy says.
“I think we should give an oil well to each of the families of the soldiers who die.”
“Yeah, because those are the people who really deserve it, because they gave birth to a child who died for already rich people to get richer.”
“And I also think after the regime is gone, they should make me president of Iraq.”
“You would make a great president.”
“I know I would.”
“What is your platform for Iraq?”
“I would create the biggest military in the world and attack America.”
“Good platform,” Jimmy says.
“I believe I can crush them.”
“So do I.”
“Then I would take over the world, and pillage it of its resources.”
“Another good idea.”
“I would rage against anyone that said anything bad about me. I would paint the world red with blood.”
“Man, you would make a great president.”
“I know, it would be great. I think I’m going to call the White House tomorrow and ask them about it.”
“You should, I bet they’ll let you do it.”
“Of course, who else would be qualified for the position.”
“You, who else.”
“Will you be my vice president?” I say.
“I’d rather be the head general of the army.”
“Oh, even better. I won’t have a vice president, who needs one.”
“You certainly don’t.”
“I want to take over China and enslave them.”
“That would be great, Americans would never have to do work again.”
“There’s enough of them to fill every occupation in America and Iraq. No one would have to work again.”
“You’re a political genius.”
“I’ve studied a lot of Jefferson. That’s where I get it from.”
“I can see.”
“If I took over America, I’d nuke West Virginia.”
“Why?”
“It’s a useless place, it doesn’t need to be there anymore.”
“Yeah, we don’t need West Virginia,” Jimmy says.
“Then I would put the White House in California.”
“Good idea. Can I stay there in the Lincoln Bedroom?”
“Oh yeah, of course.”
“Can I wipe my ass with a painting of Bush and Nixon?”
“No doubt, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Beautiful.”
“Do you want to go to the strip joint now?”
“Yes, that sounds perfect,” Jimmy says.
We stand up and pay for our coffees.
The war has already started.
Planes are flying over Baghdad.
To throw bombs onto the city.
Buildings will soon be gone.
Toppled.
Screams will soon be heard.
Then they will go silent.
There will be mass death.
Americans will be glued to the television.
Parents of soldiers will sit at home worried.
Young infantry soldiers sit more worried.
There will be a lot of tears shed in the next few weeks.
I wonder if I will cry.
I hope not.
Death.
And then there was war.
I don’t want this.
No.
I reject it.
I refuse to accept the world is like this.
But it is.
It’s horrible.
And mad.
I do not know how to confront the day.
With this insanity.
I wish I were a child playing in the yard.
Or an old man sitting in a wheel chair.
But I’m not.
I’m young and I have to live with the memory of this for a long time.
How long will my life be.
Too long.
America has just begun to fight.
The clocks are burning.
Snakes are slithering through our hearts.
The animals are screaming in the wilderness.
There is no light here.
The prisoners are rioting.
The children are crying.
Christ is in heaven watching.
We all have scabies and we are scratching till we bleed.
Ulcers are hurting.
The sun is setting.
Lions stop hunting.
The moon is hidden behind the clouds.
There’s a dust storm blinding us.
When I grow old.
This day will be a blur.
And it might not even matter.
Perhaps this is insignificant.
Perhaps the Iraqis will love freedom.
Perhaps they won’t.
They never asked for freedom.
I don’t see why we have to give it to them.
Of course I don’t see why we don’t.
But all the middle eastern countries are ruled by regimes.
Why save this one.
There are a lot of good questions that will never be answered.
Like we would believe the answers if they were told to us.
Someday I’ll wake up and this will be over.
Until then I’ll suffer.
I don’t know why I suffer, I guess it’s habit.
I no longer believe that there are solutions to the world’s problems.
The world is controlled by humans.
And humans are an insane species.
They suffer from power.
I regret ever belonging to the human species.
It’s trite and violent.
I would kill myself.
But I want to watch the insanity.
What will these crazy monkeys do next.
The human species is a train wreck.
They’re all mangled and distorted.
They’re all suffering from disorder of the mind.
And they’re not very intelligent.
They have no desire to know anything.
And the ones who want to know.
Are so consumed with vanity they learn nothing.
I regret ever being an intellectual.
I’d rather be a mechanic.
Or something simple.
But I’m myself, and I know more than the next person.
I didn’t choose this way of life.
It just happened that way.
By divine power or accident.
I don’t know.
I don’t believe in a way of life.
I don’t think humans can follow any code of rules without fucking it up.