Enter TRILETSKY.
SCENE X
The same and TRILETSKY (in a top hat).
TRILETSKY (enters). The cranes are crying! Where did they drop in from? (Looks aloft.) So early . . .
GREKOVA. Nikolay Ivanych, if you respect me . . . even the slightest bit, break off relations with that man! (Points at Platonov.)
TRILETSKY (laughs). For pity’s sake! He is my most respected in-law!
GREKOVA. And friend?
TRILETSKY. And friend.
GREKOVA. I don’t envy you. And I don’t think I envy him either. You’re a kind man, but . . . that facetious tone . . . There are times when your jokes make me sick . . . No offense meant, but . . . I’ve been insulted, and you . . . make jokes! (Weeps.) I’ve been insulted . . . But, nevertheless, I will not burst into tears . . . I am proud. Be on good terms with this man, love him, admire his intelligence, fear him . . . You all think he’s like Hamlet . . . Well, admire him! It’s nothing to do with me . . . I don’t need anything from you . . . Crack jokes with him, as much as you like, that . . . scoundrel! (Exits into the house.)
TRILETSKY (after a pause). Got all that, pal?
PLATONOV. Not a clue . . .
TRILETSKY. It’s about time, Mikhail Vasilich, in all honor, in all conscience you left her alone. It’s really disgraceful . . . Such an intelligent, such a big man, and you get involved in this damned stuff . . . That’s why people call you a scoundrel . . .
Pause.
I can’t actually tear myself in half so that one half respects you and the other stays on friendly terms with a girl who’s called you a scoundrel . . .
PLATONOV. Don’t respect me, and you won’t have to tear yourself in half.
TRILETSKY. I can’t help but respect you! You don’t know yourself what you’re saying!
PLATONOV. That means there’s only one thing left: don’t be on friendly terms with her. I don’t understand you, Nikolay! What good can an intelligent man like you see in that little fool?
TRILETSKY. Hm . . . The General’s lady often scolds me for not being enough of a gentleman and points you out as a model gentleman . . . The way I see it, that scolding should be entirely directed at you, the model. Everyone, and especially you, is shouting from every rooftop that I’m in love with her, you laugh, tease, suspect, spy . . .
PLATONOV. Can you be a bit more explicit . . .
TRILETSKY. I think I am being perfectly explicit . . . And at the same time you can in all conscience call her a little fool, a piece of trash to my face . . . You’re no gentleman! Gentlemen know that people in love have a certain vanity . . . She is not a fool, buddy boy! She is not a fool! She is an innocent victim, that’s what! There are moments, my friend, when you need somebody to hate, somebody to sink your teeth into, somebody to play your dirty tricks on . . . Why not try it on her? She’s perfect! Weak, defenseless, looks up to you with such gullible confidence . . . I understand it all very well . . . (Gets up.) Let’s go get a drink!
OSIP (to Vengerovich). If you don’t let me have the rest afterward, I’ll steal hundreds more. Never you fear!
VENGEROVICH SR. (to Osip). Not so loud! Once you’ve beaten him up, don’t forget to say: “With the tavern-keeper’s compliments!” Ssh . . . Go away! (Goes towards the house.)
OSIP exits.
TRILETSKY. What the hell, Abram Abramych! (To Vengerovich.) Are you ill, Abram Abramych?
VENGEROVICH SR. Not at all . . . Thank God, I’m well.
TRILETSKY. What a pity! And I’m in such need of money! Can you believe it? Ready to cut my throat, as the saying goes . . .
VENGEROVICH SR. Consequently, Doctor, do your words imply that you need patients with throats to cut? (Laughs.)
TRILETSKY. A clever riposte! A bit heavy-handed, but still clever! Ha-ha-ha and encore ha-ha-ha! Laugh, Platonov! Lend me something, my dear man, if you can!
VENGEROVICH SR. You already owe me a great deal, Doctor!
TRILETSKY. Why bring that up? Common knowledge, isn’t it? Just how much do I owe you?
VENGEROVICH SR. Nearly . . . All right . . . Two hundred and forty-five rubles, I believe.
TRILETSKY. Give, great man! Oblige me, and I’ll oblige you one of these days! Be ever so kind, generous, and daring! The most daring of Jews is the one who lends money without a receipt! Be the most daring of Jews!
VENGEROVICH SR. Hm . . . Jews . . . Always Jews and more Jews . . . I assure you, gentlemen, that in all my life I’ve never seen a Russian who would lend money without a receipt, and I assure you that nowhere is it practiced so widely as by underhanded Jewry! . . . May God strike me dead, if I’m lying! (Sighs.) There are many, a great many things you young people could learn to your success and advantage from us Jews, and particularly from old Jews . . . A very great many things . . . (Pulls his wallet out of his pocket.) A person lends you money with enthusiasm, with pleasure, and you . . . love to laugh and make jokes . . . That’s no good, gentlemen! I’m an old man . . . I have got children . . . Think of me as a lowlife, but treat me like a human being . . . That’s what your studies at the university were all about . . .
TRILETSKY. Well said, Abram Abramych my friend!
VENGEROVICH SR. It’s no good, gentleman, it’s bad . . . A person might think that there was no difference between you, educated people, and my employees . . . And no one is permitted to call me his friend . . . How much do you want? It’s very bad, young people . . . How much do you want?
TRILETSKY. How much will you let me have . . .
Pause.
VENGEROVICH SR. I’ll let you have . . . I can give you . . . five hundred rubles . . . (Gives him the money.)
TRILETSKY. Splendid! (Takes the money.) Great man!
VENGEROVICH SR. You’ve got my hat, Doctor!
TRILETSKY. Yours, is it? Hm . . . (Takes off the hat.) Here, take it . . . Why don’t you have it cleaned? After all, it doesn’t cost much! What’s the Yiddish for top hat?
VENGEROVICH SR. Whatever you like. (Puts on the top hat.)
TRILETSKY. That top hat suits you, it’s in character. A baron, a regular baron!48 Why don’t you buy yourself a title?
VENGEROVICH SR. I don’t know anything about that! Leave me alone, please!
TRILETSKY. You’re a great man! Why aren’t people willing to understand you?
VENGEROVICH SR. Why don’t people leave a man in peace, you ought to say! (Exits into the house.)
SCENE XI
PLATONOV and TRILETSKY.