PLATONOV. You’re lying, you’re not angry . . . It’s only make-believe . . . (Exits into the house.)
ANNA PETROVNA. The man’s a crackpot! (Sits down.) He doesn’t have the slightest idea what he’s saying . . . “To mix up every kind of love with one specific kind of love . . .” What nonsense! Like a male novelist writing about his love for a female novelist . . .
Pause.
Insufferable man! You and I will be nattering away like this till Judgment Day! If I can’t take you honorably, I’ll take you by force . . . This very day! It’s high time we both gave up this stupid waiting game . . . I’m fed up . . . I’ll take you by force . . . Who’s that coming? Glagolyev . . . looking for me . . .
Enter GLAGOLYEV SR.
SCENE XIV
ANNA PETROVNA and GLAGOLYEV SR.
GLAGOLYEV SR. It’s boring! These people talk about things I heard years ago: they think things that I thought about when I was a child . . . It’s all old, there’s nothing new . . . I’ll have a word with her and then go.
ANNA PETROVNA. What are you mumbling about, Porfiry Semyonych? May I know?
GLAGOLYEV SR. You’re here? (Comes to her.) I’m scolding myself for being unwanted here . . .
ANNA PETROVNA. Because you’re not like us? That’s enough of that! People can get used to cockroaches, so you can get used to our sort! Come sit next to me, let’s have a talk!
GLAGOLYEV SR. (sits beside her). I’ve been looking for you, Anna Petrovna! I have something I have to talk to you about . . .
ANNA PETROVNA. Well, go ahead and talk . . .
GLAGOLYEV SR. I’d like to discuss something with you . . . I’d like to know the answer to my . . . letter . . .
ANNA PETROVNA. Hm . . . What is it you want of me, Porfiry Semyonych?
GLAGOLYEV SR. I, as you know, renounce . . . any conjugal rights . . . Those rights aren’t for me! I need a friend, a clever housekeeper . . . I have a paradise, but it contains no . . . angels.
ANNA PETROVNA (aside). Whatever he says, it’s a lump of sugar! (to him.) I often wonder what I would do in paradise — I’m a human being, not an angel — if I got into it?
GLAGOLYEV SR. How can you know what you will do in paradise, if you don’t know what you will do tomorrow? A good person will always find something to do, on earth or in heaven . . .
ANNA PETROVNA. That’s all very pretty, but will my life with you be worth my while? It’s rather peculiar, Porfiry Semyonych! Excuse me, Porfiry Semyonych, but your proposal strikes me as very peculiar . . . Why do you want to get married? What use can a friend in a skirt be to you? It’s none of my business, excuse me . . . but it’s gone this far, I’ll finish my thought. If I were your age, had as much money, intelligence, and sense of fair play as you do, I would never go after anything in this world except the general welfare . . . I mean, if I may put it this way, I would never go after anything except the satisfaction of loving my fellow man . . .
GLAGOLYEV SR. I don’t know how to fight for people’s welfare . . . For that you need a will of iron and knowhow, but God hasn’t bestowed them on me! I was born only to love great deeds and perform a lot of cheap, worthless ones . . . Only to love! Come to me!
ANNA PETROVNA. No. Not another word on this subject . . . Do not take my refusal to be of any vital significance . . . Vanity, my friend! If we could possess everything that we love, there would be no room left . . . for our possessions . . . Which means, people aren’t behaving entirely without intelligence and affection when they turn you down . . . (Laughs out loud.) There’s some philosophy for your dessert! What’s all that noise? Do you hear? I’ll bet it’s Platonov making trouble . . . What a temperament!
Enter GREKOVA and TRILETSKY.
SCENE XV
ANNA PETROVNA, GLAGOLYEV SR., GREKOVA, and TRILETSKY.
GREKOVA (entering). This is the meanest insult imaginable! (Weeps.) The meanest! Only someone truly corrupt could see it and keep still!
TRILETSKY. I believe you, I believe you, but what’s my part in all this? What’s it got to do with me? Am I supposed to club him on the head, is that it?
GREKOVA. You should club him on the head, if there’s nothing else to do! Get away from me! I, I, a woman, would not keep still, if someone had insulted you to my face so vilely, so shamelessly and undeservedly!
TRILETSKY. But actually I did . . . Please be reasonable! . . . What did I do wrong? . . .
GREKOVA. You’re a coward, that’s what you are! Get away from me and back to your revolting refreshments! Good-bye! Be so kind as not to visit me any more! We don’t need one another . . . Good-bye!
TRILETSKY. Good-bye, as if I care, good-bye! I’m fed up with all of this, it’s become infinitely sickening! Tears, tears . . . Ah, my God! My head’s swimming . . . coenurus cerebralis!54 Oh dear oh dear oh dear . . . (Waves his hand in dismissal and exits.)
GREKOVA. Coenurus cerebralis . . . (Starts to leave.) Another insult . . . What for? What did I do?
ANNA PETROVNA (walks over to her). Mariya Yefimovna . . . I won’t keep you . . . I would leave here myself if I were you . . . (Kisses her.) Don’t cry, my pet . . . Most women were created to put up with all sorts of nastiness from men . . .
GREKOVA. Well, I wasn’t . . . I’ll get him . . . fired! He won’t be a teacher here any more! He hasn’t got the right to be a teacher! Tomorrow I’ll go to the superintendent of public schools . . .
ANNA PETROVNA. That’s enough of that . . . In a day or two I’ll pay you a visit, and together we’ll sit in judgment on Platonov, but until then calm down . . . Stop crying . . . You shall have satisfaction . . . Don’t be angry with Triletsky, my pet . . . He didn’t stand up for you because he’s too kind and gentle, and people like that aren’t capable of standing up . . . What did he do to you?
GREKOVA. In front of everybody he kissed me . . . called me a fool and . . . and . . . shoved me up against the table . . . Don’t think he can get away with that with impunity! Either he’s a madman or else . . . I’ll show him! (Exits.)
ANNA PETROVNA (follows her). Good-bye! See you soon! (to Yakov.) Yakov! Get Mariya Yefimovna’s carriage! Ah, Platonov, Platonov . . . He’ll go on making trouble until he gets into trouble himself . . .
GLAGOLYEV SR. A beautiful girl! Our gracious Mikhail Vasilich doesn’t like her . . . Insults her . . .
ANNA PETROVNA. For no good reason! Today he’ll insult her, tomorrow he’ll apologize . . . That’s the blue blood in him talking!
Enter GLAGOLYEV JR.
SCENE XVI
The same and GLAGOLYEV JR.
GLAGOLYEV JR. (aside). With her! With her again! What the hell is going on, after all? (Looks point-blank at his father.)
GLAGOLYEV SR. (after a pause). What do you want?
GLAGOLYEV JR. You’re sitting here, and people are looking for you! Go on, people are calling for you!