VENGEROVICH JR. Yes . . . I will make a note of it! (Exits.)
PLATONOV. What was he doing here? Eavesdropping? (to Osip.) Who’re you? Why are you here, my loose cannon? Eavesdropping too? Get out of here! Or wait . . . Go after Vengerovich and take away his chain!
OSIP (gets up). What chain?
PLATONOV. There’s a gold watch-chain dangling across his chest! Go after him and take it! Step lively! (Stamps his feet.) Quick, or you won’t catch up to him! He’s running now to the village like a madman!
OSIP. And you’re off to the General’s lady?
PLATONOV. Hurry up, scoundrel! Don’t beat him up, just take the chain! Go on! What are you standing here for? Run!
OSIP runs out.
(After a pause.) To go . . . Or not to go? (Sighs.) Go . . . I’ll go and strike up that long, basically boring, ghastly song . . . I used to think I was clad in impenetrable armor! And what happens? A woman says one word, and a storm starts brewing inside me . . . Most people go distracted over world crises, but for me it’s a woman! My whole life—it’s a woman! Caesar had his Rubicon,72 I have a woman . . . A vacuous skirt-chaser! It wouldn’t be so pitiful if I didn’t fight it, but I do fight it! Weak, weak to the nth degree!
SASHA (in the window). Misha, are you there?
PLATONOV. Yes, my poor treasure!
SASHA. Come inside!
PLATONOV. No, Sasha! I want to stay in the fresh air. My head is splitting. Go to sleep, my angel!
SASHA. Good night! (Closes the window.)
PLATONOV. It’s tough to cheat on someone who believes in you unconditionally! I’m in a sweat and flushed . . . I’ll go! (Starts to go.)
KATYA and YAKOV come to meet him.
SCENE XIV
PLATONOV, KATYA, and YAKOV.
KATYA (to Yakov). Wait here . . . I’ll only be a minute . . . I’m just getting a book . . . Don’t leave, mind you! (Goes to meet Platonov.)
PLATONOV (on seeing Katya). You? What do you want?
KATYA (alarmed). Ah . . . there you are, sir! I have to see you.
PLATONOV. Is that you, Katya? All of ‘em from the mistresses to the maids inclusive, all night owls! What’s up with you?
KATYA (quietly). The mistress sent you a letter.
PLATONOV. What?
KATYA. The mistress sent you a letter!
PLATONOV. Are you raving? What mistress?
KATYA (more quietly). Sofya Yegorovna . . .
PLATONOV. What? Are you crazy? Take a cold shower! Get out of here!
KATYA (gives him the letter). Here it is!
PLATONOV (snatches the letter). A letter . . . a letter . . . What sort of letter? Couldn’t you have brought it tomorrow? (Unseals it.) How am I supposed to read it?
KATYA. The lady’d like a reply real soon . . .
PLATONOV (lights a match). The devil brought the bunch of you here! (Reads.) “Am taking first step. Come, let’s take it together. Am reborn. Come and take me. Yours.” What the hell . . . It’s some sort of telegram! “Will wait till four in gazebo near four pillars. My drunken husband out hunting with young Glagolyev. All yours S.” That’s all I needed! My God! That’s all I needed! (To Katya.) What’re you looking at?
KATYA. How can I help looking, since I got eyes?
PLATONOV. Gouge out your eyes! This letter’s for me?
KATYA. You, sir . . .
PLATONOV. Liar! Get out of here!
KATYA. Very good, sir.
Exits with YAKOV.
SCENE XV
PLATONOV (alone).
PLATONOV (after a pause). There they are, the consequences . . . You’ve landed in it for good! You’ve corrupted a woman, a living creature, just like that, for no good reason, no need at all . . . Damn my tongue! It’s led to this . . . What to do now? Come on, smart guy, think up something! Curse yourself now, tear out your hair . . . (Thinks.) Go away! I’ll go away right now and never dare show my face here until doomsday! March away from here to the four corners of the earth, and bend to the iron rod of necessity and hard work! Better a life of hardship than one with this in the background!
Pause.
I’ll go away . . . But . . . could it be that Sofya actually loves me? Really? (Laughs.) What for? How obscure and strange everything is in this world!
Pause.
Strange . . . Could it be that this beautiful, marmorial woman with the wonderful hair is capable of falling in love with a penniless crackpot? Can she love me? Unlikely! (Lights a match and peruses the letter.) Yes . . . Me? Sofya? (Roars with laughter.) She loves me? (Clutches his chest.) Happiness! This is real happiness! This is my happiness! It’s a new life, with new characters, new scenery! I’ll go! March to the gazebo near the four pillars! Wait for me, my Sofya! You were mine and will be again! (Starts to go and stops.) I won’t go! (Walks back.) Tear apart my family? (Shouts.) Sasha, I’m coming in! Open up! (Clutches his head.) I won’t go, I won’t go . . . I won’t go!
Pause.
I will go! (Starts to go.) Go, destroy, trample, defile . . . (Runs into Voinit-sev and Glagolyev Jr.)
SCENE XVI
PLATONOV, VOINITSEV, and GLAGOLYEV JR.
VOINITSEV and GLAGOLYEV JR. have rifles over their shoulders.
VOINITSEV. There he is! There he is! (Embraces Platonov.) So? A-hunting we shall go!
PLATONOV. No . . . Wait a bit!
VOINITSEV. Why tear yourself away, friend? (Roars with laughter.) Drunk, I’m drunk! For the first time in my life I’m drunk! My God, I’m so happy! My friend! (Embraces Platonov.) Shall we go? She sent me away . . . Asked me to shoot some game for her . . .
GLAGOLYEV JR. Let’s get going! It’s already light . . .
VOINITSEV. Did you hear what we’re planning? How’s this for a brilliant idea? We’re thinking of putting on Hamlet! Word of honor! We’ll put on such a show they won’t know what the hell hit ‘em! (Roars with laughter.) You’re so pale . . . Are you drunk too?
PLATONOV. Leave me alone . . . I’m drunk.
VOINITSEV. Hold on . . . It’s my idea! Tomorrow we’ll start painting the sets! I’m Hamlet, Sophie is Ophelia, you are Claudius, Triletsky is Horatio . . . I’m so happy! And contented! Shakespeare, Sophie, you and maman! What more do I need! Except for some Glinka.73 That’s all I need! I’m Hamlet . . .
And to this villain,
Forgetting shame as woman, wife and mother,