How could you yield yourself! . . .74
(Roars with laughter.) How’s that for a Hamlet?
PLATONOV (tears himself away and starts to run). You bastard! (Runs out.)
VOINITSEV. Toodle-oo! He’s drunk! In a major way! (Roars with laughter.) How do y’like that friend of ours?
GLAGOLYEV JR. Stewed to the gills . . . Let’s go!
VOINITSEV. Let’s go . . . “And were you my friend, perchance75. . . Ophelia! O nymph, in thy orisons be all my sins remember’d!”
They leave.
The sound of a passing train is heard.
SCENE XVII
OSIP and then SASHA.
OSIP (runs in with the watch chain). Where is he? (Looks around.) Where is he? He’s gone? He’s not here? (Whistles.) Mikhail Vasilich! Mikhail Vasilich! Hey!
Pause.
No? (Runs over to the window and knocks on it.) Mikhail Vasilich! Mikhail Vasilich! (Breaks the glass.)
SASHA (in the window). Who’s there?
OSIP. Call Mikhail Vasilich! Quick!
SASHA. What’s happened? He’s not home!
OSIP (shouts). No? Went to the General’s lady, I guess! The General’s lady was here and summoned him to her! All is lost, Aleksandra Ivanovna! He’s gone to the General’s lady, damn him!
SASHA. Liar!
OSIP. As God is my judge, to the General’s lady! I heard and saw it all! They were hugging over there, kissing . . .
SASHA. Liar!
OSIP. May my father, may my mother never get into heaven if I’m lying! To the General’s lady! Left his wife! Chase him, Aleskandra Ivanovna! No, no . . . All is lost! And now you’re unhappy! (Takes the rifle from his shoulder.) She gave me one last order, and I’ll carry it out for one last time! (Shoots into the air.) Let her meet him! (Throws the rifle on the ground.) I’ll cut his throat, Aleksandra Ivanovna! (Leaps over the embankment and sits on the stump.) Don’t worry, Aleksandra Ivanovna . . . don’t worry . . . I’ll cut his throat . . . Never fear . . .
Lights appear.
SASHA (enters in a nightgown, with her hair undone). He left . . . He cheated on me . . . (Sobs.) I’m lost . . . Kill me, Lord, after this . . .
A train whistle.
I’ll throw myself under the locomotive . . . I don’t want to live . . . (Lies on the tracks.) He cheated on me . . . Kill me, mother of God!
Pause.
Forgive me, Lord . . . Forgive me, Lord . . . (Screams.) Kolya! (Gets to her knees.) My son! Save me! Save me! Here comes the train! . . . Save me!
OSIP comes galloping up to Sasha.
(Falls on to the tracks.) Ah . . .
OSIP (picks her up and carries her into the schoolhouse). I’ll cut his throat . . . Don’t you worry!
The train comes through.
End of Act Two
ACT THREE
A room in the schoolhouse. Doors right and left. A cupboard with crockery, a chest of drawers, an old upright piano, chairs, a sofa upholstered in oilcloth, a guitar, etc. Total chaos.
SCENE I
SOFYA YEGOROVNA and PLATONOV.
PLATONOV is asleep on the sofa. His face is covered with a straw hat.
SOFYA YEGOROVNA (rouses Platonov). Platonov! Mikhail Vasilich! (Shakes him.) Wake up! Michel! (Takes the hat off his face.) How can you put such a filthy hat on your face? Feh, what a slob, an unholy mess! Lost his shirt-studs, sleeps with his chest bare, unwashed, in a dirty night-shirt . . . Michel! I’m talking to you! Get up!
PLATONOV. Huh?
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Wake up!
PLATONOV. Later . . . Fine . . .
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. That’s enough of that! Will you please get up!
PLATONOV. Who’s that? (Gets up.) Is that you, Sofya?
SOFYA YEGOROVNA (holds her watch before his eyes). Take a look!
PLATONOV. Fine . . . (Lies down again.)
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Platonov!
PLATONOV. Well, what’d you want? (Gets up.) Well?
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Look at the time!
PLATONOV. So what? Sofya, there you go again with your whims and caprices!
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Yes, here I go again with my whims and caprices, Mikhail Vasilich! Please look at the time! What time is it now?
PLATONOV. Half past seven.
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Half past seven . . . So you’ve forgot the agenda?
PLATONOV. What agenda? Express yourself more clearly, Sofya! I’m in no mood today for jokes or solving moronic riddles!
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. What agenda? So you have forgot? What’s wrong with you? Your eyes are red, you’re all rumpled . . . Are you sick?
Pause.
The agenda: for both of us to be at the cabin at six o’clock . . . You forgot? Six o’clock has come and gone . . .
PLATONOV. Anything else?
SOFYA YEGOROVNA (sits next to him). Aren’t you ashamed? Why didn’t you come? You gave your word of honor . . .
PLATONOV. I would have kept my word, if I hadn’t fallen asleep . . . Didn’t you see I was asleep? So why are you pestering me?
SOFYA YEGOROVNA (shakes her head). What an unreliable person you are! Why are you scowling at me? Unreliable in regard to me, at least . . . Think about it . . . Have you ever once shown up on time at our rendezvous? How many times have you failed to keep your word of honor to me?
PLATONOV. Pleased to hear it!
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. It’s not clever, Platonov, it’s disgraceful! Why do you stop being noble, intelligent, being yourself, whenever I’m with you? What’s the point of this low-class behavior, unworthy of the man responsible for the salvation of my inner life? When I’m around you act like some kind of freak . . . No affectionate glance, or tender remark, not a single word of love! I come to you — and you reek of wine, you’re dressed appallingly, your hair uncombed, your answers are rude and irrelevant . . .
PLATONOV (leaps up and paces up and down the stage). And she’s off!
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Are you drunk?
PLATONOV. What do you care?
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. That’s so charming! (Weeps.)
PLATONOV. Women!
SOFYA YEGOROVNA. Don’t talk to me about women! A thousand times a day you talk to me about them! I’m sick and tired of it! (Gets up.) What are you doing to me? Do you want to be the death of me? I’m sick because of you! Day and night my chest aches thanks to your good graces! Don’t you see it? Don’t you want to know about it? You hate me! If you loved me, you wouldn’t dare treat me this way! I’m not some kind of simple village wench for you, some uncouth, coarse soul! I won’t allow any . . . (Sits down.) For heaven’s sake! (Weeps.)