"If this is true," Hada said, "then we want him to compose a ballad about Unicephalon 40-D returning to action." That was obvious to him instantly. Max Fischer would be merely the standby President once more, as he had originally been. Without authority of any kind.
"Correct," Dr. Yasumi said. "But problem is, now that he is making up these political-type ballads, Ragland Park is apt to discover this fact, too. For if he makes up song about Unicephalon and then it actually -"
"You're right," Hada said. "Even Park couldn't miss that." He was silent then, deep in thought. Ragland Park was potentially even more dangerous than Max Fischer. On the other hand, Ragland seemed like a good egg; there was no reason to assume that he would misuse his power, as Max Fischer had his.
But it was a great deal of power for one human being to have. Much too much.
Dr. Yasumi said, "Care must be taken as to exactly what sort of ballads Ragland makes up. Contents must be edited in advance, maybe by you."
"I want as little as possible -" Hada began, and then ceased. The receptionist had buzzed him; he switched on the intercom.
"Mr. James Briskin is here."
"Send him right in," Hada said, delighted. "He's here already, Ito." Hada opened the door to the office – and there stood Jim-Jam, his face lined and sober.
"Mr. Hada got you out," Dr Yasumi informed Jim-Jam.
"I know. I appreciate it, Hada." Briskin entered the office and Hada at once closed and locked the door.
"Listen, Jim-Jam," Hada said without preamble, "we've got greater problems than ever. Max Fischer as a threat is nothing. Now we have to deal with an ultimate form of power, an absolute rather than a relative form. I wish I had never gotten into this; whose idea was it to hire Rags Park?"
Dr. Yasumi said, "Yours, Hada, and I warned you at the time."
"I'd better instruct Rags not to make up any more new ballads," Hada decided. "That's the first step to take. I'll call the studio. My God, he might make up one about us all going to the bottom of the Atlantic, or twenty AUs out into deep space."
"Avoid panic," Dr. Yasumi told him firmly. "There you go ahead with panic, Hada. Volatile as ever. Be calm and think first."
"How can I be calm," Hada said, "when that rustic has the power to move us around like toys? Why, he can command the entire universe."
"Not necessarily," Dr. Yasumi disagreed. "There may be limit. Psi power not well understood, even yet. Hard to test out in laboratory condition; hard to
subject to rigorous, repeatable scrutiny." He pondered.
Jim Briskin said, "As I understand what you're saying -"
"You were sprung by a made-up ballad," Hada told him. "Done at my command. It worked, but now we're stuck with the ballad singer." He paced back and forth, hands in his pockets.
What'll we do with Ragland Park? he asked himself desperately.
At the main studios of CULTURE in the Earth satellite Culone, Ragland Park sat with his banjo and guitar, examining the news dispatches coming in over the teletype and preparing ballads for his next appearance.
Jim-Jam Briskin, he saw, had been released from jail by order of a federal judge. Pleased, Ragland considered a ballad on that topic, then remembered that he had already composed – and sung – several. What he needed was a new topic entirely. He had done that one to death.
From the control booth, Nat Kaminsky's voice boomed over the loudspeaker, "You about ready to go on again, Mr. Park?"
"Oh sure," Ragland replied, nodding. Actually he was not, but he would be in a moment or two.
What about a ballad, he thought, concerning a man named Pete Robinson of Chicago, Illinois, whose springer spaniel was attacked one fine day in broad daylight on a city street by an enraged eagle?
No, that's not political enough, he decided.
What about one dealing with the end of the world? A comet hitting Earth, or maybe the aliens swarming in and taking over… a real scary ballad with people getting blown up and cut in half by ray guns?
But that was too unintellectual for CULTURE; that wouldn't do either.
Well, he thought, then a song about the FBI. I've never done one on the subject; Leon Lait's men in gray business suits with fat red necks… college graduates carrying briefcases…
To himself, he sang, while strumming his guitar:
"Our department chief says, Hark;
Go and bring back Ragland Park.
He's a menace to conformity;
His crimes are an enormity."
Chuckling, Ragland pondered how to go on with the ballad. A ballad about himself; interesting idea… how had he happened to think of that?
He was so busy concocting the ballad, in fact, that he did not notice the three men in gray business suits with fat red necks who had entered the studio and were coming toward him, each man carrying a briefcase in a way that made it clear he was a college graduate and used to carrying it.
I really have a good ballad going, Ragland said to himself. The best one of my career. Strumming, he went on:
"Yes, they sneaked up in the dark
Aimed their guns and shot poor Park.
Stilled freedom's clarion cry
When they doomed this man to die;
But a crime not soon forgotten
Even in a culture rotten."
That was as far as Ragland got in his ballad. The leader of the group of FBI men lowered his smoking pistol, nodded to his companions, and then spoke into his wrist transmitter. "Inform Mr. Lait that we have been successful."
The tinny voice from his wrist answered, "Good. Return to headquarters at once. He orders it."
He, of course, was Maximilian Fischer. The FBI men knew that, knew who had sent them on their mission.
In his office at the White House, Maximilian Fischer breathed a sigh of relief when informed that Ragland Park was dead. A close call, he said to himself. That man might have finished me off – me and everybody else in the world.
Amazing, he thought, that we were able to get him. The breaks certainly went our way. I wonder why.
Could be one of my psionic talents has to do with putting an end to folk-singers, he said to himself, and grinned with sleek satisfaction.
Specifically, he thought, a psi talent for getting folksingers to compose ballads on the theme of their own destruction…
And now, he realized, the real problem. Of getting Jim Briskin back into jail. And it will be hard; Hada is probably smart enough to think of transporting him immediately to an outlying moon where I have no authority. It will be a long struggle, me against those two… and they could well beat me in the end.
He sighed. A lot of hard work, he said to himself. But I guess I got to do it. Picking up the phone, he dialed Leon Lait…
Oh, To Be A Blobel!
He put a twenty-dollar platinum coin into the slot and the analyst, after a pause, lit up. Its eyes shone with sociability and it swiveled about in its chair, picked up a pen and pad of long yellow paper from its desk and said, "Good morning, sir. You may begin."
"Hello, Dr. Jones. I guess you're not the same Dr. Jones who did the definitive biography of Freud; that was a century ago." He laughed nervously; being a rather poverty-stricken man he was not accustomed to dealing with the new fully homeostatic psychoanalysts. "Um," he said, "should I free-associate or give you background material or just what?"
Dr. Jones said, "Perhaps you could begin by telling me who you are und warum mich – why you have selected me."
"I'm George Munster of catwalk 4, building WEF-395, San Francisco condominium established 1996."
"How do you do, Mr. Munster." Dr. Jones held out its hand, and George Munster shook it. He found the hand to be of a pleasant body-temperature and decidedly soft. The grip, however, was manly.