I finally saw where he was coming from in this discussion. He believes that education will never get any better so long as its subject to all that tomfoolery in the town halls. He rightly observed that wed never leave an important subject like defence to the local authorities -- if we gave them 100 million each and told them to defend themselves we could stop worrying about the Russians, wed have civil war in three weeks.
He claims that thats what weve done with education, that no one thinks education is serious the way defence is serious.
Its certainly true that no one takes civil defence seriously, and thats why its left to the borough councils. But I assured Humphrey that I took education incredibly seriously -- it could cost me the next election.
Ah. He smiled a superior smile. In my navet I thought you were concerned about the future of our children.
Well, I am. These are not contradictory worries. After all, kids get the vote at eighteen.
Humphrey had a simple answer to the education screw-up: Centralise! Take the responsibility away from the local councils and put it under the Department of Education and Science. Then I could do something about it.
I wonder if hes right. It sounds too easy somehow. And yet my hopes were raised.
Humphrey, I said, do you think I could? Actually grasp the nettle and take the bull by the horns?
Bernard spoke for the first time. Prime Minister, you cant take the bull by the horns if youre grasping the nettle.
I could hardly believe that this was Bernards sole contribution to a discussion of such importance. I just sat there and goggled at him. He must have thought I didnt understand him, for he began to explain himself: I mean, if you grasped the nettle with one hand, you could take the bull by one horn with the other hand, but not by both horns because your hand wouldnt be bit enough, and if you took a bull by only one horn it would be rather dangerous because
I found my voice. Bernard I said. And he stopped. Perhaps he just cant help it. Attention to detail is all very well, but really!
I told Humphrey hed given me food for thought.
In that case, he replied complacently, bon apptit.
December 14th
Im off on a brief pre-Christmas tour of the North-West tomorrow. Dorothy gave me a schedule, which includes Prime Ministerial visits to factories and hospitals.
Drumming up votes in the marginal constituencies, I remarked jovially to Bernard.
No, Prime Minister, he said.
I didnt realise what he meant at first.
Im coming with you, he explained carefully, so its a government tour. But if it consists of canvassing in marginals its a party event and I cant come -- and, more to the point, the Treasury cant pay for it all.
His pedantry can be useful! Dorothy immediately made it clear, for the record, that we are making a government visit to the North-West, and that it is a pure coincidence that all the stops are in marginals. Bernard was satisfied.
I was still preoccupied with education. I asked Dorothy what I could do about it. Quickly!
Do you mean do, or appear to do? she wanted to know.
Silly question. Appear to do, obviously. Theres nothing I can do.
She thought for a moment, then proposed that I made some television appearance associated with something good and successful in education.
I was pleased to hear that there was such a thing. She delved into her briefcase and handed me a sheet containing details of St Margarets School business enterprise unit. She thinks I should visit the school on my tour. Apparently it could be squeezed into the schedule.
The school has set up its own manufacturing and trading company. They make cheeseboards, paperweights, toast racks and so on. Then they market and sell them. Furthermore, in their maths and business studies they track the whole operation. They involve local businessmen, and parents help too.
It sounds great. And whats more, it costs the DES nothing -- they make a profit.
I wondered if there was any downside. Bad publicity on the grounds that children are being taught to be grasping? But no -- Dorothy tells me that they given the money to local charities.
Its obviously a must for a North-West trip. I told Dorothy to give it enough time on the schedule for TV cameras to cover it properly. And, I added, give me a speech with a snappy twenty-second passage for the TV news. It should all help to win back a few seats.
Bernard shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He cleared his throat. Um, Prime Minister he reminded me firmly.
I mean, Bernard, I said, changing my tone, it will give a lead to those responsible for the nations education.
Of course, Prime Minister, he said with a smile.
[Hackers tour of the North-West was a great success, and his visit to St Margarets School was indeed reported on the national news. The film itself does not survive, but we are fortunate that a transcript was made and we reprint it below, with the kind permission of Independent Television News Ed.]
Independent Television News Limited
The attached transcript was typed from a recording and not copied from an original script. Because of the risk of mishearing ITN cannot vouch for its complete accuracy.
NEWS AT TEN
TRANSMISSION: DECEMBER 17th
ACTUALITY:
NEWSREADER (offscreen):And finally, this morning the Prime Minister visited St Margarets School, W north-western tour.
SHOTS OF JIM HACKER, WITH BERNARD WOOLLEY IN THE BACKGROUND, SURROUNDED BY NUMEROUS PRESS REPORTERS, ENTERING A SCHOOL WOODWORK SHOP WHERE BOYS AND GIRLS IN NEAT SCHOOL UNIFORMS ARE BUSY.
NEWSREADER (offscreen):The school has set up its own little manufacturing business where the children make a variety of goods in the school carpentry shop for sale in the local community. The children do their own sales and marketing.
CUT TO:
JIM HACKER STANDING WITH A GROUP OF SCHOOLCHILDREN, WATCHING THEM PACKING, LABELLING AND STACKING BOXES OF GOODS.
NEWSREADER (offscreen):And they use the experience they gain from the enterprise as a basis for their maths and business studies.
CUT TO:
WIDE ANGLE THE SCHOOL HALL. PRIME MINISTER HACKER IS SEEN ON THE DAIS. A SENIOR GIRL HANDS HIM A THREE-LEGGED STOOL. THEY SHAKE HANDS. BULBS FLASH FOR PHOTOS.
NEWSREADER (offscreen):The Prime Minister was presented with an example of the schools output.
CUT TO:
MEDIUM CLOSE-UP OF THE PRIME MINISTER, ADDRESSING THE SCHOOL.
HACKER:I must congratulate you all on the hard work, the discipline and the success of your enterprise. You set an example in British education which other schools would do well to follow. We need more schools like St Margarets. And I shall certainly treasure your present -- no Prime Ministers ever lose seats if they can possibly help it.
CUT TO:
WIDE-ANGLE OF AUDIENCE IN SCHOOL HALL. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE.
CUT TO:
THE PRIME MINISTER, SMILING AND WAVING AS HE LEAVES THE PLATFORM.
[Hackers diary continues Ed.]
December 17th
I watched a very satisfying film report of my visit to Widnes on the News at Ten tonight. Annie and Dorothy, whod stayed for dinner, watched it with me. We all agreed that it had gone pretty well, especially my joke at the end of my little speech.
Actually, Dorothy claimed it was her joke. She was being petty. If by her joke she meant that she thought of it, then I suppose shes right -- but thats hardly relevant.
The coverage was much better than it had been on the BBC. The BBC didnt describe it as the Prime Minister touring the North-West, they said it was Jim Hacker visiting the marginal constituencies.