No they werent, I said, committed now.
Yes they were! Dudley would not let go. And you promised further discussion.
This was perfectly true. I was completely stuck for a suitable reply when Humphrey stepped in. I cant remember what he said, but his gobbledegook interpretation of the minutes of the previous meeting saved the day.
But then we went on to Humphreys three-point plan and, somehow, I dont know how, I simply cant understand why, we reached a point of no return with Dudley. What I had hoped would be a compromise scheme somehow turned into an ultimatum, and I found myself telling Dudley that he must consider his position. [This means co-operate or resign Ed.]
I fear well lose him. I still dont quite know how this happened. Sir Humphrey seemed as baffled as I.
SIR BERNARD WOOLLEY RECALLS [in conversation with the Editors]:
That meeting was a total triumph for Sir Humphreys strategy. All along he had been seeking to remove the Employment Secretary from the Cabinet, because he saw this as the only way to save thousands of senior officers and MOD officials from exile in the Siberia north of Birmingham.
Humphrey was not baffled at the outcome, for it had gone exactly to plan. I was not party to his scheme, but I marvelled at the brilliance of both its conception and execution.
Before the meeting he suggested the three-point plan as a compromise, knowing full well that it would be the coup de grace. Hackers claim that he instantly understood the plan was manifestly false: first, if he had understood it he would have seen the full implications and rejected it outright. Second, he was so confused that he couldnt even remember it. As the members of the Committee were entering the room Hacker was trying to remember it.
Your three-point plan, Humphrey, remind me.
You ask them, Prime Minister, to agree to three points. First, that they agree to accept Cabinets collective decision. Second, that there is a cooling-off period with no further discussion. Third, that all further speeches and press statements are cleared with the Cabinet Office.
Excellent, said Hacker. That should do it. Point one, they cool off and discussions and, what was the second? Collective press statements and sorry, Humphrey, I dont think Ive quite got it yet.
He really was in a frightful state. He could remember nothing. He was flapping around pathetically, the proverbial headless chicken. Humphrey offered to write down the three-point plan for him, and Hacker accepted with gratitude.
Well, the agenda was immediately challenged by Dudley Belling, as Hacker correctly remembered. Dudley reminded the Prime Minister that he had supported the proposal last time, and that Hacker had acceded to Dudleys request to discuss the matter again at this meeting.
Hacker was on the ropes when Sir Humphrey intervened.
There was no such promise, Sir Humphrey said, being economical with the truth again. And the Prime Minister did not support the proposal. If he had it would appear in the minutes. And it doesnt.
Dudley was floored. Doesnt it? And he glanced hurriedly through the minutes, which we had all agreed -- on the nod -- to sign as accurate. Careless of him not to have read them more thoroughly.
He looked up, angrier than ever. Sir Humphrey, why was my request for a further discussion, and the Prime Ministers reply, not minuted?
Sir Humphrey was ready for that one. His reply was an object lesson. I recall it perfectly. While it is true that the minutes are indeed an authoritative record of the Committees deliberations, it is nevertheless undeniable that a deliberate attempt at comprehensive delineation of every contribution and interpolation would necessitate an unjustifiable elaboration and wearisome extension of the documentation.
Hacker stared at him. The Committee stared at him. The Foreign Secretary told me later that he wished he was at the UN where hed have had the benefit of simultaneous translation. What he had said would have been crystal-clear to most people, but politicians are simple souls.
Finally Hacker said hopefully: Does that mean you dont recall the discussion?
Sir Humphreys reply was masterly. It is characteristic of committee discussions and decisions that every member has a vivid recollection of them and that every members recollection differs violently from every other members recollection. Consequently we accept the convention that the official decisions were those and only those which are officially recorded in the minutes by the officials, from which it follows with an elegant inevitability that any decision officially reached will be officially recorded in the minutes and any decision not recorded in the minutes was not officially reached even if one or more members believe that they recollect it, so in this particular case if the decision had been officially reached it would have been officially recorded by the officials in the minutes. And, he finished with triumphant simplicity, it isnt so it wasnt.
There was another pause. Dudley was smouldering. Its a fiddle, he snarled.
Hacker intervened firmly. This must stop!
Yes it must, snapped Dudley, though I suspect that they were talking at cross purposes.
Hacker took charge. I have drawn up a three-point plan which we must all agree to. Point one er, what did you say, I mean what did I say was point one, Humphrey?
Humphrey silently unzipped his slimline document case that lay on the floor between the chairs and slid his handwritten, three-point plan a few inches along the Cabinet table till it rested in front of the Prime Minister.
Thank you, said Hacker. Point one, everyone will accept collective decisions, Dudley.
Im perfectly willing to, Dudley responded with caution. How are they defined?
He was a good man. He knew the right questions to ask.
I define them! said the Prime Minister brusquely. Point two, there will be a cooling-off period on the subject of defence relocations. And point three
He hesitated. We all waited expectantly. Then he leaned towards Sir Humphrey and muttered that he couldnt quite read point three. Cleaning what?
Clearing all speeches whispered the Cabinet Secretary.
Ah yes, said the PM loudly. All speeches and press statements must in future be cleared with the Cabinet Office.
On the face of it point three looked like a sensible way of preventing members of the Cabinet making embarrassingly contradictory statements. But it had one other major virtue -- it put Sir Humphrey in charge of all relations with the press.
Dudley spotted it. I cant accept point two, we cant cool off discussion on something that hasnt been discussed yet because the officials refused or neglected to minute my request for further discussion -- even though it was agreed by you, Prime Minister -- and which has consequently been left off the agenda. As for your third point, I cannot in principle accept that anything I say in public must be cleared by him. He pointed at Sir Humphrey, refusing to dignify him further by mentioning him by name. I have no confidence, Dudley concluded, that he will clear what I want to say.
Hacker was now committed. Well, thats my decision and I must ask you to accept it.
I dont accept it. Dudley was implacable.
Oh, said Jim. He looked at Humphrey for guidance. Humphrey whispered something to him. Jim nodded sadly, and turned to his Employment Secretary.
Then, Dudley, he pronounced solemnly, I must ask you to consider your position.
Everyone present knew that Dudleys career was over.
[Hackers diary continues Ed.]
July 19th
I was sitting in my study this morning, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Bernard knocked and entered.
I have news for you, Prime Minister.
I looked at him. But I could tell nothing from his face. I waited.