We in Whitehall have also experienced his interference and his moralizing. He did a frankly awful report on waste and inefficiency in the Civil Service, containing 209 practical recommendations for reform. It took eighteen months of laborious committee work to whittle them down to three.
Desmond wants Jameson stopped. I agree. But it could be difficult. The appointment of the Chairman of the Bank of England is really a Treasury recommendation. But we cannot let that stand in our way because its not just the Phillips Berenson case that will be affected if Jameson gets the job and starts all his confounded amateur Sherlock Holmesing. All sorts of other little matters could emerge. He could uncover a major scandal. Followed by collapse of confidence. Sterling crises. The pound could fall through the floor.
It would, of course, be best for all of us if all these City fiddles could be cleared up. But thats just naive optimism, I fully realise. Pie in the sky. The bottom line (as our American cousins like to say) is that the City earns this country 6 billion a year. We cant hazard all that just because a few chaps do a few favours for a few other chaps, who happen to be their friends, without telling the shareholders.
It might be right to put a stop to it. But it simply wouldnt be reasonable. The repercussions would be too great. The time is not ripe.
[Appleby Papers RR/2056/LFD]
[Hackers diary continues Ed.]
October 5th
Party Conference coming up. Ive been working with Dorothy [Dorothy Wainwright, Hackers Chief Political Adviser] on my speech today, but Im not happy with it.
She claimed that its only a first draft, but that isnt the problem. The problem is that it contains no good news. I pointed this out to her and she shrugged. We couldnt think of any.
Feeble! Theres always a way. And if there isnt any good news you just have to make the bad news look good.
For instance, I told her, you have to say something about the Health Service. Care for old people, mothers and children, that sort of thing. Growing up into a healthy nation.
Value for money? suggested Dorothy.
We cant say that, I pointed out. Everyone knows that costs are completely out of control.
Dorothy suggested an alternative: Were spending more than ever before to make our Health Service the best in the world. Excellent!
We then turned to Defence. I had meant to talk to Party Conference about defence cuts, but I havent been able to get the MOD to make any yet. Dorothy had got the idea already. Shes very quick on the uptake. This government will not put the security of the nation at jeopardy by penny-pinching and false economies. [Not that Hacker would have put the nation in jeopardy by, for instance, merging all three music schools of the three armed services. It was a doubtful necessity to have separate music colleges for the Army, Navy and Air Force respectively. There could hardly have been, for instance, a specifically Royal Naval method of playing the bassoon Ed.]
We turned to the EEC. A knotty problem. I dont want to attack it because I desperately need the agreement on quota reductions. I cant afford to have all those bloody Europeans ganging up on me again. Wholehearted commitment to our friends in Europe was Dorothys excellent wording, but still vigilant and vigorous in our determination to see that Britain gets a fair deal.
Shes very good. Finally, we turned to the economy, the biggest problem of all. No good news there at all, really. I was plunged into melancholy at the mere thought of having to put a good face on it in public.
Dorothy tried to comfort me. Well find something.
I asked her if any further bad news was likely to break during the party conference.
Dont ask me. Youre the one who sees the secret Treasury papers.
I wasnt really thinking of that, Dorothy. I sighed heavily. I was thinking of the Phillips Berenson business.
Ah. She was non-committal. And looking as lovely as ever -- slim, blonde, blue-eyed, cool -- a vision of wisdom, beauty and unflappability. She always makes me regret that Id never had a nanny.
I pressed her. [Not literally, we think Ed.] What do you make of it all?
Im suspicious.
Why?
Because she replied thoughtfully, because of the statements from the Chairman of the Stock Exchange, the Chairman of the Clearing Banks Association, and the Governor of the Bank of England.
I was puzzled. But none of them really said anything.
She smiled. Thats why Im suspicious. If thered been nothing in those rumours theyd all be falling over themselves to say so.
Very shrewd. Very wise. She was right, of course -- there must be more to it than meets the eye. Can you find out a bit more about it?
Ill try, she promised.
The whole thing is so unfair! City scandals always look bad for the government and its absolutely nothing to do with me at all! Yet, if the story breaks during Party Conference it could really hurt me.
Dorothy suggested that, to counteract the damage if damage there is, I could announce a wide-ranging review of malpractice. Not a bad idea exactly, but it did sound rather inadequate.
Then I realised that there is one thing I can do. I can announce the new Governor of the Bank of England. If I choose the right man I can make if look as if no further City scandals will be tolerated.
Dorothy seemed slightly confused. You mean appoint someone really good? She was having difficulty in grasping this concept.
I nodded vigorously, stood up, and paced around the study, greatly enthused with the idea. Yes! I was excited. Someone vigilant and vigorous.
She was even more puzzled. Thatd be a break with tradition, she observed, and asked me if it were Alexander Jameson I had in mind.
Shes no fool. However, I havent yet made my final decision, and I dont need to yet. I know theyd hate it in the City if I appointed Jameson, and if it turns out there is nothing in this Phillips Berenson affair it may not be necessary.
If! said Dorothy.
We continued to work on my speech. Wed reached the economy before we digressed. I couldnt see what I could say about that! I mean, if Id inherited a mess like that from the other party I could blame all the problems on them for the next three years at least. But how do I tell my party that my late, unlamented Right Honourable predecessor had navigated us all up shit creek and then departed with the paddle?
Dorothy tried manfully. You could say: We have come through some difficult times together.
I didnt dignify such a pathetic offer with a reply. I eyed her balefully. She tried again. All the industrial world is facing severe problems.
I shook my head. America and Japan are doing all right.
Okay, she said, not giving up. How about All the European nations are facing severe problems?
It was the best we could think of, but not great stuff to lift the partys spirits and send them out happy.
Dorothy needed more information. What about output?
Down!
As far down as last year?
No, I said.
Great! We are halting the rate of decline in the nations output. Very good. She thought for a few moments. Is unemployment coming down at all?
Not much, I replied, but I could see she had a way of dealing with it.
I was right. We shall make the attack on unemployment our top priority!, she offered. Not bad!