He stared at her coldly. Can you prove it?
No, she acknowledged honestly. Its just my antennae.
Humphrey chuckled and turned to me. I think, Prime Minister, were in the realms of female intuition.
Dorothy went white with anger. Tight-lipped, she stood up and smoothed down her tight-fitting black linen skirt. We shall see, she snapped, and headed straight for the door.
We shall indeed, murmured Humphrey with a confident smirk.
I wondered why he had such confidence. He gave me no hint. So I told him the good news: that I intended to appoint Alexander Jameson as the new Governor of the Bank of England.
I wasnt sure what his reaction would be. I was certainly quite unprepared for the great enthusiasm with which he received the news.
Oh, the Lay Preacher! What a nice chap!
The Lay Preacher, I thought, must be a nickname. I asked how he got it and was, I must admit, mildly surprised by Humphreys answer. Well, he is one, isnt he?
I couldnt see how it was particularly relevant, though Im always a little put off by fanatics of any kind, especially religious ones. But even in these secular days one can hardly hold it against a chap that he believes fervently in God, irrational though that seems to many of us. So I stuck to the point. But Humphrey, do you think hes good?
Good is exactly the word, replied Humphrey. A really good man. Did a terribly good job at the White Fish Authority, too.
The White Fish Authority doesnt sound a totally essential job. Perhaps he spends rather too much time on preaching. Where does he preach? I wanted to know.
In church, I suppose. Frightfully religious. Extremely honest. Honest with absolutely everyone.
Humphrey obviously likes him a lot. And yet theres something about his enthusiasm that worries me. Its good, isnt it, to be honest with everyone? I asked. After all, I was appointing a man to help clean things up.
He was unequivocal. Of course its good. If he finds a scandal anywhere, even here in Number Ten, hell tell everybody. No doubt about that.
You mean hes indiscreet?
Humphrey looked uneasy. Oh dear, he replied with a sigh, thats such a pejorative word. I prefer merely to say that hes obsessively honest.
I was becoming concerned. Im all for honesty, God knows, but theres a time and a place for everything. And we are discussing politics. Handling people, that sort of thing. Do you think, quite candidly, that hes the right man to bring the city into line?
Absolutely, said Humphrey without hesitation. If you want a Saint. Of course, there are those who say he doesnt live in the real world. He is extremely puritanical, even for a bible-basher.
Jameson was beginning to sound like more trouble than hes worth. Or as much trouble, anyway. I indicated to Humphrey that I wanted to hear absolutely all the cons as well as the pros. Reluctantly he continued. Well, I must admit that he is so honest that he might not understand their little games. But it probably doesnt matter that the city would run rings around him. And I dont think its true that OPEC [Organisation of Petroleum-Exporting Countries would eat him for breakfast.
He must be a friend of Humphreys. Of course it matters if the City runs rings around him. But would it? I find it very hard to believe. And who says OPEC would eat him for breakfast?
I told Humphrey I was confident that he is neither so weak nor so stupid. Ive heard that hes highly intelligent and very tough.
Humphrey readily agreed. In fact, I began to see that this may be the root of the problem. Very tough, Prime Minister, yes indeed. A bit of an Ayatollah, in fact. The only question is, do you want to risk a Samson who might bring the whole edifice crashing down?
I couldnt deny that thats a bit of a worry. I fell silent. Humphrey continued to enthuse about him till it began to get on my nerves. He certainly is no respecter of persons. Hes very stimulating, and a great catalyst. The only thing is that, although treading on toes is sometimes a necessity, he tends to make it a hobby. And of course, he does like everything in the open, he talks very freely to the press -- he's not awfully realistic about that.
I asked Humphrey if he knew anything else at all about Jameson.
Well one wonders if anyone can be that moral -- I've heard and then he hesitated.
I was all agog. Yes?
His invariable discretion took over. Nothing. Anyway, Im sure it wont come out.
What? I asked, desperate to know.
Nothing. He was trying to reassure me now, but completely without success. Im sure its nothing, Prime Minister.
Im not sure that I can use this man, in spite of Humphreys enthusiastic recommendation. How little he understands me!
[News travels fast in Whitehall, and in a matter of hours the rumour reached Sir Frank Gordon, Permanent Secretary of the Treasury, that Sir Humphrey was rubbishing Alexander Jameson. In this situation the Cabinet Secretary and the Permanent Secretary of the Treasury had conflicting needs, opposed aims, and different fears.
The following day Sir Humphrey duly received a particularly friendly note from Sir Frank, which has been fortunately released to us under the Thirty Year Rule and is reproduced below Ed.]
HM Treasury
Permanent Secretary
October 8
My Dear Humphrey,
You may well have heard that the Treasury would like Alexander Jameson to be the new Governor of the Bank of England.
We believe that it is about time that the Bank had a Governor who is known to be both intelligent and competent. Although an innovation, it should certainly be tried.
The Treasury has endured these City scandals for long enough. The Chancellor of the Exchequer is quite fed up with having to defend the indefensible, and so is the Treasury.
Furthermore, we believe that an honest financial sector cannot damage the national interest. The City is a dunghill and I propose that we clean it up now. Jameson is our man.
Yours ever,
Frank
[Sir Humphrey did not hasten to reply. But some days later Sir Frank received the letter reprinted below Ed.]
70 Whitehall, London SW1A 2AS
From the Secretary of the Cabinet and Head of the Home Civil Service
12 October
Dear Frank,
Thank you so much for your letter. It is always a pleasure to hear from you.
I was most amused by your droll remarks about the Governor-to-be of the Bank of England. I am fully seized of the need, from the Chancellors point of view, for a clean-up in the City. It would indeed be in the Chancellors own interest.
But I am sure you will agree that we must all ensure that the nations interest is paramount. And although an honest financial sector cannot damage the nation in the long term, there would be significant short-term problems.
An inquiry into the City would undoubtedly cause a loss of confidence, the pound would plunge, the share index would plunge -- and the Government would plunge with them.
This would not be in the Chancellors interest, nor the Prime Ministers. If I might borrow your analogy of the City as a dunghill, may I ask what is left when you clean up a dunghill? Nothing! Except that the person who cleans it up usually finds themselves covered in dung.
Yours ever,
Humphrey
[Sir Franks hostility to the Bank of England embodied a traditional Treasury attitude. Bank of England officials are paid more than Civil Servants, and envy is a factor in the relationship. Further, the Bank is a luxurious institution, serving superb meals in the canteen to its abundantly large quota of staff. The Treasury, on the other hand, is intellectually rigorous and slightly contemptuous of the calibre of those who work at the Bank. The Treasury lite, unlike the Foreign Office lite, are a meritocracy traditionally disdainful of intellectual inadequacy, and even junior officials may express well-reasoned dissent in front of politicians.
Sir Frank did not apparently let the matter drop. His reply to Sir Humphrey is missing, but it provoked a strong reply from Sir Humphrey which we were fortunate enough to find and which we reprint below Ed.]