Frederick by now was acting in much the same rôle as Father of the Bride—though it was combined with that of one head of state negotiating an alliance with another, as well as that of a Doctor ministering to a village idiot. The meeting broke off. Most of those on the Brandenburg side of it were too nonplussed to be angry.
She married him. Eleanor Erdmuthe Louisa married Johann Georg IV, Elector of Saxony, albeit a few days later than planned, as everything had to be re-jiggered at the last minute. They moved to Dresden. The Elector promoted Magdalen Sybil von Röohlitz to the rank of Countess and kept her around. Libels began to circulate in the streets of Dresden in which it was argued that bigamy was no bad thing, having been practiced by any number of Biblical kings, and ought to be revived in Saxony. At about the same time, the Elector openly promised to marry the Countess von Röohlitz—at the same time as he was still married to Eleanor. The good Lutherans of Saxony pushed back against the idea of making bigamy the new law of the land, and even Johann Georg's impaired mind came to understand that he would never be able to marry two women at once.
Attempts to poison Eleanor's food commenced not long after. She might have been an easy victim in some other courts—a court, let us say, in which she had more enemies, and in which the enemies were not all mental defectives. But poisoning was a difficult and exacting business even for persons who had never been hit on the head, and the attempts of Johann Georg and Magdalen Sybil von Röohlitz were obvious, and were failures. Eleanor took as many clothes as she could pack in a hurry, and as many servants (three) as Johann Georg would allow her, and departed without taking another meal. This was how she and Caroline had landed at the dower-house of Pretzsch. Her sojourn here had hardened into a sort of exile, or imprisonment. As she had no money of her own, there was little practical difference. She and Caroline slept in the same room and barricaded the door at night in case Johann Georg should conceive some hare-brained plan to send assassins. Caroline, despite being an abnormally acute young lady when it came to squirrels and logarithms, had no idea that any of this was happening.
AT THE END OF TELLING THIS TALE, Eleanor looked better, albeit puffy around the eyes. She looked more like the dogged young Princess that Eliza had known at the Hague five years ago.
But any ground that she had gained by unburdening herself thus to Eliza, she gave back again in a few moments when, on the eighth day of Eliza's visit, she opened and read an ornate document that had been brought to the dower-house by a galloping courier. "Whatever is the matter?" Eliza asked. For she could not phant'sy what, to a woman in Eleanor's estate, could possibly be accounted Bad News; any conceivable change, it seemed, would be a step up.
"It is from the Elector," she announced.
"The Elector of—?"
"Saxony."
"Your husband?"
"Yes."
"What says it?"
"He has got word that I am entertaining a visitor, whose beauty and charm are renowned in all the courts of Christendom. He is pleased to learn that his Realm is graced by such a distinguished personage as the Duchess of Arcachon and of Qwghlm, and announces that he and the Countess shall arrive tomorrow to pay their respects to the Duchess, and to stay for a few days."
Eliza had summoned the strength to move to a chair by the sick-room's sole window. Cramped and dingy the dower-house of Pretzsch might be, but open fields surrounded it, with good climbing-trees. For some days Eliza had been too drained and listless even to read books; but she'd spent many hours in this chair, doing what she was doing now: watching Caroline and Adelaide play. The sheer number of hours that they could put into playing were a prodigy to Eliza, especially given that she felt a hundred years old. This had been her only form of contact with either of the girls since the day she'd arrived, for all had agreed it were best if Eliza were quarantined until she got better.
Eliza, draped in blankets like a statue for shipment, was rubbing the palms of her hands together. "Has the Elector ever had smallpox?" she asked.
"He does not bear scars of it, as far as I know. But as the marriage was never consummated, I have seen little of him. Why do you ask?"
"We have journeyed a great distance," Eliza said, "and called at more towns along the Elbe than I can remember. Given that, and given the sheer size of my entourage, there is always the possibility of someone's having picked up a disease en route. That is why travelers from abroad are frequently quarantined. Now, having heard so many lovely stories about the Elector of Saxony and the Countess von Röohlitz, I should be crestfallen if I missed the opportunity to make their acquaintances. But it would be most unfortunate if one of them were to fall ill of some malady that we brought up the Elbe. You will apprise them of this—?"
"I shall throw words in their general direction, to that effect," Eleanor said, "whether any shall stick I cannot say."
"BY A LONG SHOT, however, the most sophisticated practice of the Turks is the institution of polygamy," Eliza said.
The Elector of Saxony, who really was a great penis of a man, all purple-red, and laced about with throbbing veins, and crowned with a tremendous curling black wig, sat up just a bit straighter. One eye, then the other, strayed in the direction of the Countess von Röohlitz. She was everything that Eliza could have anticipated from Eleanor's narration. Stuffed into a bag and smuggled a thousand miles to the southeast, she'd have sold, in a Constantinople slave-mart, for a whole stable of Arab race-horses. To ask her to make conversation, however, was a little bit like expecting a dog to cook his meat before eating it. Eliza had talked herself hoarse rather than shut up and listen to what these two would attempt to say to her. And like groundlings in a theatre, they were more than content simply to watch with open eyes, and, most of the time, open mouths.
"You don't say," said the Elector, after a while. "How do they… do it?"
Eliza let a beat or two pass in silence before letting go with a titter. She was not a great titterer by and large. This was a titter she had borrowed from a certain Duchess she had sat next to once at Versailles. She did not duplicate it very precisely, but here in the dower-house of Pretzsch it would serve. "Oh, monsieur," she went on, "your double entendre almost got by me."
"I beg your pardon—?"
"At first I supposed you meant, ‘How did they institute the practice of polygamy?' but of course now I perceive you were really asking, ‘How does the Sultan make love to two women, or more, at the same time?' I should be pleased to let you in on the secret, but I fear some of a more prudish disposition might object." And she kicked Eleanor in the shin under the table, and jerked her head toward the room's exit: which Eleanor had been pining for, as a prisoner regards a high window in the wall of his cell.